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You're not being to harsh. I like to know how to improve. I might edit and re-post soon so. I don't know for sure.

Well, this is kind of confusing, it doesn't really pull the reader in, or at least me. I mean it's OK but you don't want to make the reader say, "What the hell? I want the last 5 mintues of my life back." Well maybe thats a little harsh, I'm not trying to be mean, just the truth. OK so I'm not really a grammer nazi. I just really care about how well written a piece is.

So first question 1: Why did Carlie tell her mom?

2: do some research on HIV, usually your not stuck at a hospital, you just get medication and take it everyday. So check up on that.

3: Who's Randy? Why did she have sex wwith him? Where/what/why
(things like that you have to add, unless you reveal those later).

4: Who's Chase?
___

So sorry if that's harsh just trying to help from my POV as the reader (point of view). If your having trouble or have any questions go ahead and PM me.

-Max

Alright, only a few nitpicks so I'll get them out of the way first.

I let a tear fall down my cheek as my best friend Chase Aaron's strode into the room, "Hey Car, you're finally awake." He said happily, his bright blue eyes were shining brightly.

"I can't believe what happened, your mom told me everything," He stated, grabbing a chair and pulling it next to the bed.

"Why are you always defending him?" He asked, "He's trash Carlie, look what he did to you, this isn't something that will go away. It will last forever."

"Sorry, Car, I shouldn't have snapped like that," He said tucking a stray stand of red hair behind my ear.

"Well, I'll let you rest," He said hugging me tightly. The smell of smoke and sweet cologne filled my nose, a smell most people would hate, but one I loved the most.