Why should I be kind?
Kindness is a thankless ordeal,
A hopeless endeavor,
Like lighting a candle in an ocean.
~
Why shouldn't I be evil?
Evil is much easier,
And more prominent,
Like a smog that rises
From a smoldering earth.
~
So why should I be kind?
Why should anyone?
~
Because if not me,
Or you,
Then who?
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,827 Reviews
The ending was perfect, short and straight to the point, it didn't leave the reader hanging with questions swimming in their heads, which is a great job on your part! XD. I really like the fact that this is about being kind and evil, and it has a lot of truth to it that most readers and other writers can relate to perfectly. I really love your first stanza how you have written it:
Why should I be kind? (I always ask myself this question)
Kindness is a thankless ordeal, (this part is true and beautiful, when you try to be kind, to make yourself feel better for some odd reason, people just ignore you like you weren't even there, eventually that act of kindness die, soon people will start to give up, once they realize kindness is just a waste of time.)
A hopeless endeavor, (exactly as I said before a waste of time being kind)
Like lighting a candle in an ocean. (I really like how you used this it's like a positive and negative equals a negative, they cancel each other out, there is no way a flame can survive in the ocean, just like how the act of kindness doesn't survive long in our daily lives.)
Why shouldn't I be evil?
Evil is much easier,
And more prominent,
Like a smog that rises
From a smoldering earth.
This is where every person that can relate to this poem, can agree. Being evil is easy it doesn't take much effort, all you need is a hollow body and a cold heart, a strong one too. Being evil is more famous many people do it by just showing an act of unkindness, and that has no effort no work to it, damn you can just stay silent without acknowledging them, and you're evil. "Like a smog that rises from a smoldering earth" Great imagery right here you can see that gas like dust polluting the air, as it seems earth is up in flames, evil, it kind of reminds me (maybe) symbolizes a hell XD. And of course that ending just flawless. Great job with your poem it seemed on point to me with no major mistakes that I could pull out. Just keep writing,and do what you do best! And of course Rock on!
I really like this poem, and I could so relate. Being evil really easy, I totally agree. And your closing just wonderful for this poem. It's really amazing how this flows so perfectly. Being kind is a lot harder, and it's really hard if you're trying to be nice to every single person. But if you ask me, if you hide your feelings behind some character. You will never really have a voice in life. So when being kind, you have to think about what is better. Telling the person the truth for their own good, or lying just to make them feel good for a second then the next day the truth is told, and they feel like their efforts were wasted.
Hello methrir123! Night, here to review this lovely work!
Thank you. Thank you. Finally, a piece that isn't depressing, political, or boring. Just plain, questioning innocence.
I really enjoy the topic you chose for this poem. I think a lot of people struggle with why exactly they put time and effort into actions that no one seems to care about: kindness. Being mean or simply not caring about others would require a lot less work, and would get people to leave you alone, right? But I love the point that you made at the end: What a sad world this would be if no one cared about the evil. Brilliant.
And I loved the first stanza:
However, I do have a few nitpicks.
1) The title. The name of a piece is what lures a reader in and allows for more feedback and praise. The only reason I clicked on this was because it was poetry (I like poems ^-^) and because it had no reviews. If it hadn't been that way, I can't be certain that I would have noticed this piece by the title alone, being the only hint at the work within. You do not want that. It is up to you, but I feel that if you pick a unique, intriguing title, you will get the viewing that you deserve, because I truly enjoyed this.
2) First stanza. You repeat the work 'endeavor' twice, which I suppose is fine, but personally I would prefer a synonym to it. Totally your choice though.
3) Second stanza. The capitalization was off. The rest of the poem you were capitalizing every line, then you stopped halfway and started again?
4) EXPANSION! This is such a great idea for an awesome poem, but it is so short. I would love it if you wrote more, but if you want it to be short and sweet, it is your choice. I just feel like it has a lot of potential.
Overall, I really liked this poem. It was very calming and a nice reminder of what we strive for. Thank you for sharing.
Keep writing and being amazing!
~Night