Frankly, though I respect your endeavoring in such an art. This poem is merely satisfactory, that is not to say that it is devoid of opportunity.
To begin, my review, I will first tell you that bold honesty is the best way to learn the art of honing your own talents as a writer. This poem is not very good, and it does not have flowing that is consistent with what is necessary for a poem of such potential gravity. You must elaborate in tongues of obscurity this torment, or this plague which cleaves to thee, and it is quite plain that the pain within you or within this character is quite obvious. Thus, I suggest that you take a deeper look within yourself, and ask yourself if life is truly this simple? Is life divided between good and evil, and is it black and white? Are there no aberrations within life?
This is a common problem within young writers, for they constantly founder at the task of creating psychological diversity, or even diversity for that matter. Life is filled with abnormalities, it is filled with psychologically and idiosyncratic characters which have endured the sorrow of life, and there are those who do not look so simply upon life. You must bring diversity, you must express your poetry through your grief in NEW WAYS, and especially you must take notice of the psychological difference between people. My friend now is the time to learn that not many people are just hurtful and malignant, for there is always a cause, a catalyst for ones behavior. Take these words sincerely, and I tell once more that honesty is a necessity.
Equivocal, a fellow young writer.
Points: 1031
Reviews: 8
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