i realise who i see, and who you see in me
i see a face with hollow eyes
eyes empty enough to echo my words
i know they reverberate through your mind,
into your chest and into your soul
you heart does not welcome them
it clings to feeling full with love
love for me, with my calloused hands
love for me, with my messy hair
your eyes see me, watch me
i see you too, i see your skin
you have painted it blue, but your lips are red
too red to be painted, too red to be mine
and from the blue emerges drops and cuts of red
streaking across your chest and arms
i have not touched you, it is not my red
my red is in my eyes,
blood in my iris, bursting with cries
and you see it, i know you do
it reflects in your hollow, hollow eyes
we know we do not fit
we know we do not touch
but your blue has not tainted your soul
our hearts, they remain red
this red, i can call mine
my red in blue is you
and i will wait, till your red shines through
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Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,742 Reviews
Hey, there! Let me leave a little review.
The formatting of this is nice and clear. The line breaks keep things easy to read and moving pretty smoothly. You seemed to stick to consistency with what you chose to capitalize and punctuate, too.
I confess I'm uncertain what the interpretation of this is meant to be, but it definitely sounds like words of the heart. To me, it sounds like there are two people who have some kind of pain or rift between them, or who recognize they have different fundamental experiences from one another.
I guess I don't have any critiques to offer. Good work, and thanks for sharing!
thank you for reviewing!!
Hello! It’s CATS here to leave a short review using my CATS Opinion method! Let’s dive in!
FLASH OF GLOWING EYES
The poem looks so unique and colourful! I love blue and red...let’s see what this is about!
SOFT FUR
My favourite parts are the paints and cut descriptions. They are so vivid and bold and gives the reader the emotion the author or narrator is feeling. Well done! This color feels like it has a different meaning...we will read on!!
WARM PURR
Parts that I think were done very well.
I have nothing to say. The entire poem??? Like the descriptions, the deep feelings touches the reader. You are very talented! This is romantic I’m guessing. It makes the reader think why the colours are related.
SHARP CLAWS
I’m sorry that I have no suggestions! Overall this is just perfection.
CONCLUDING MEOW
Overall I love the comparison of the lovers difference to colours but how the narrator understands it so well. Keep writing!
Happy EVERYTHING!!!
Love,
CATS
Thank you so much!! I love you, your poems, your reviews, and your cat. I love cats too!!
No problem! You're so sweet. Have an awesome day!!!