i see red
red stains my cheeks
red rains on houses
red paints my skin
red drips from flowers
my lips, my eyes, my tongue is red
red is all that taints my life
all i see is red
but i see, in all the red
a glimpse of yellow shining bright
the spot is moving, moving through red
and when i feel the yellow at my touch, it turns red, the yellow turns red
the blaze is gone and the yellow turned red
and all i see is red
red hollow eyes
red wobbly legs
red, red, red
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This line is the turning point of this part as the reader now sees this shimmer of hope almost midway through the poem. I find it really interesting how in part 1, there's this drastic contrast as everything turns to red, and now in part 2, the yellow is coming back... for at least a moment.Hello majuli (again)! I’m back to review Part 2 of the tulips are now red!
Wow! Red is now staining everything! Until....
Then the line changes the direction of the poem again! I love the direction you have taken with this poem. You gave the reader a piece of hope with the yellow, before snatching it away again. It also very much reflects the narrator's thoughts and emotions of feeling as though this hope/goodness is only tarnished when they try to capture it.
It's a beautiful and powerful message conveyed wonderfully with the use of these colors. As we get to the end of the poem and read the last 4 lines, it ends almost even more ambiguously, yet satisfying, as part 1. While part 1 makes a part 2 even more intriguing, I believe part 2 is a perfect ending. It ends with such a raw emotion and that emphasis of RED RED RED is so powerful.
Again, my only suggestion would be to possibly play with format! But nevertheless, both poems stand wonderfully on their own and I really enjoyed these pieces!
Thank you for posting this and I hope you continue to write and post. God bless ♡
thank you so much!! this gave me lots of confidence!
First part reviewed, time for part two!
So what do I see here.. The same patterns, but with a twist!
"i see red
red stains my cheeks
red rains on houses
red paints my skin
red drips from flowers
my lips, my eyes, my tongue is red"
Another simple description. But this time there is more. Red, red, red and red. All red. All the narrator sees is red. Not only on and in narrator's body like in the first part. Now red is a part of narrator's world. "red rains on houses" it sounds overwhelming! So emotional.
"red is all that taints my life
all i see is red"
This part is so good! It shows how narrator is getting sick of seeing the same colour all the time.
"but i see, in all the red
a glimpse of yellow shining bright
the spot is moving, moving through red"
There comes the change! Narrator is trying to change again! To do something! To break those patterns!
"and when i feel the yellow at my touch, it turns red, the yellow turns red
the blaze is gone and the yellow turned red"
And narrator failed. Narrator fell into the same patterns again. Nothing changed.
"and all i see is red
red hollow eyes
red wobbly legs
red, red, red"
And it got worse. The colour red is overwhelming now. Eyes are hollow, legs are wobbly. It's damaging the narrator mentally.
Both parts are talking about change. Narrator is stuck in one pattern. It was making the narrator sick. Suddenly, the narrator saw an opportunity and changed! It worked! But the red got too overwhelming. The narrator tried to go back to yellow, even if it made the narrator sick. But it failed. Nothing worked anymore and narrator was stuck. Red, red, red.
Great job! I love the story it can tell, even if it seems like a "simple poem" at first!
thank you so much!! you completely grasped the way i wrote it. thank you.
No worries! I really enjoyed it!
Hey there!! I'm here to give you a review on your poem here :)
I'll begin by mentioning I haven't read part 1, so I'm sorry if any nuance was lost on me there.
This piece is quite passionate, but it doesn't make much sense. It's a long metaphor, but the reader doesn't really get a clue as to what it's a metaphor for. The repetition also falls a bit flat for me.
I'd love if you could explore different ways to say "red"! There are so many synonyms and interesting descriptors, and it'd be a great exercise in poetry for you to edit this and make the mentions of "red" a little more flavorful, substantial.
It could also benefit the piece to explain the inner feelings of the narrator more--how does all this red make them feel? How does it affect their life, their decisions? Both questions to ask yourself if you ever wish to revisit this.
Sorry if this was a bit short!! This is a great start to a poem, but it could definitely be improved as you learn and grow.
<3, daisy
thank you so much!! i'll take this as constructive criticism. i agree, its very vague and meaningless. however, thats exactly the vibe i was going for. thank you for sharing your opinion!! it matters!!
Hey, majuli! This is Alex, here to drop a review. I had already read the first part of this poem series, so I'm guessing they're somehow linked and it will help me understand this one better. Without further ado, let's dive right in.
The start of this poem, while looks somewhat similiar to it's precursor, I believe is inherently distinct. When the world was yellow, so was the narrator's body. But here, the description slightly varies. While we eventually do get to the part where the narrator clearly states that her lips, eyes and tounge are now red- these aren't the line she chooses to start to narrative with (unlike the first part) so I'm guessing it means something. The initial lines resort to the use of words such as 'stains' and 'paint'. It signifies the red has been applied externally and isn't the original state of her being. Perhaps the narrator has jumped in a relationship but at her core, she is still yellow as she fears commitment and attachment. Or it could be that these also illustrate something more disturbing- injuries and blood. While it may look unnecessarily excessive, I have my reasons for this unconventional take.
This has got to be the most peculiar line of the series, as it seems unrelated to the rest of the poem. What red could be raining down and does it have a metaphorical significance? Blood is the closest I can come up with to explain it. Is their lover's blood raining over their household, destroying it? Perhaps the narrator is in love with a soldier. It'd explain the blood rain, the blood on her body as she holds him dying. It'd explain why her heart was yellow to begin with, for she was always afraid of facing this loss.
My intuition suggests that the flower is a symbol in itself, perhaps the narrator's partner. I feel it makes sense as touching the tulip is what turned her red in the first place and now it bleeds before her very eyes. Absolutely shattering!
There was a time when red was a blessing to her now. But as suffering overcomes her, she sees red for the destruction it brought her. What was once love that filled her, has now become an overflowing river of her lover's blood. Red has remained with her but has transformed its form for the worse.
The same line can have two completely different meanings, understand varying situations. When her love was still fresh, this red must have seen the red tulips but now as her lover breathes his last, all her eyes can see is his blood. Another thought, that she had mentioned her eyes have now turned red. So what if everything around her isn't red but she sees it that way because that's the colour of her eyes now. It reminds me of a quote "What a person sees in the world is a mirror for what he really is". It think it fits so well here. Her outlook has changed from the cowardly yellow to the passionate red- and along with it comes love and loss.
It's so striking to see yellow return to her life, very similiar to how the red had appeared. Will it conquer red and the poem end where it started, making an endless loop? Nothing would make me happier but it all sounds too good to be true. Also, yellow being a lighter does not bear the power to subdue red.
So my suspicions weren't wrongly placed. The narrator is unable to revert back to yellow as even the glimmer of the hope is overthrown by red. In symbolism, I think it suggests she has now forever lost her cowardly naive self she was before. Now that she has opened her heart to love and dealt with loss, she's forever transformed. She no longer fearful or hesitant to live to the fullest. She's grown as a woman and now that she's walked the road of red, there's no way leading back to the yellow woods.
These invoked flashbacks in my head. As the narrator sits beside her partner's lifeless body, her mind wanders back. The red hollow eyes are what trigger it and the memory is of the wobbly legs, as she found her love making his way to her walking clumsily as he's fatally injured. This is her last memory of him alive, as he dies the second his body meets ground. There's no mention of tears, as if she's numb by the pain. So heartbreaking.
As for suggestions, I have one tiny advice for the structure
Compared to the rest of the poetry, this line dragged a little longer. I think it can be rephrased easily, without compromising it's essence. Perhaps something along the lines of-
and when i feel the yellow
at my touch, it turns red,
Overall, it's such a crushing poetry. To live yellow is to live a compromised life. You're guarded from pain and sorrow, but your existence is not whole. Your heart is pale, so timid that it won't ever feel like love feels like. As the narrator touches red though, something in her shifts. Her perspective has improved as she's now put on a rosy lens. Her heart is now red and beating, prepared for the ups and downs like one's lifeline. It will love and it will lose- but that's life and what it's supposed to experience. Despite the pain that follows, loving has and always will be worth it. A compelling read, it was a pleasure reviewing this. Hope to read more from you sometime soon.
i love reading your reviews, they help me improve. thank you so much!! i really love your interpretations and how you link this to part 1. thank you for sharing!!
Hello, I think the poem is really good, I mean your ideas are really inspiring and your use of repetition is nice. And the meaning of the poem is a whole another level.
thank you so much!! >_<