Dear Father

hey, magiccharm2002 This is a really nice poem. I like the way it depicts death, in a very calm and leisurely way. I am not familiar with the Christianity aspect of it but this poem is a complete work in itself, without the help of any outer force it states what it wants to. I just wish that you delved a little deeper into death from the perspective of someone who is dying, and it also surprises me that there is no element of panic or grief or remorse in the semilucid state. like the poem is pretty one dimensional, with a concept like death you can do so much more, and there is no hint of pain. shouldn't there be pain remorse guilt panic just in the moments before death, I get that the poem is a bit religious and speaks of the calmness leading to death but then again that is what restricts this poem, you came at death from an angle of your choice, you did not explore other avenues. you could have made the poem realistic, gut-wrenching, unapologetic and real with covering more visceral emotions, but I get that you wanted to write a soothing tale of death, but then again it feels contrived and forced.
but the poem is complete within itself, I am saying that you achieved what you set out to achieve, but you could have taken a different a more realistic approach.

hey, magiccharm2002 This is a really nice poem. I like the way it depicts death, in a very calm and leisurely way. I am not familiar with the Christianity aspect of it but this poem is a complete work in itself, without the help of any outer force it states what it wants to. I just wish that you delved a little deeper into death from the perspective of someone who is dying, and it also surprises me that there is no element of panic or grief or remorse in the semilucid state. like the poem is pretty one dimensional, with a concept like death you can do so much more, and there is no hint of pain. shouldn't there be pain remorse guilt panic just in the moments before death, I get that the poem is a bit religious and speaks of the calmness leading to death but then again that is what restricts this poem, you came at death from an angle of your choice, you did not explore other avenues. you could have made the poem realistic, gut-wrenching, unapologetic and real with covering more visceral emotions, but I get that you wanted to write a soothing tale of death, but then again it feels contrived and forced.
but the poem is complete within itself, I am saying that you achieved what you set out to achieve, but you could have taken a different a more realistic approach.

Hello, Bloodlord here for a review!

This is a really nice poem. This is very inspirational, and the flow of your lines and words conveys a very peaceful and natural tone. Though I'm not as familiar with the religious implications of this poem as Radrook is, I can totally understand where this is coming from.

I really like your isocolon with "My ______. / My ______. / My _______." in lines 4-6, which beautifully brings out the words "heart.... / mind.... / body....".

I don't have many suggestions, though I guess it may be nice if you capitalized the "your" in 'your daughter' since this line comes right after a period.

This is really great, and I look forward to reading more of your work!!

Thanks for sharing this wonderful poem about the Christian hope of the resurrection made possible via the Ransom Sacrifice of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as taught in the Bible.

I like the way that it conveys the calmness of a Christian facing death. It reminded me of the way that Christians were once thrown to the lions and who calmly sang psalms because of their firm faith in the resurrection was unyielding and they firmly believed that death was a mere transition from this realm into heaven.

1 Corinthians 6:14 helpful votes
And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power.