Thank you so much for reading and leaving a comment! I made the corrections that you suggested. Soon I will post the next part of this story.
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Worlds Collide
"She's on!" he couldn't help, but smile seeing so dear of an image: the eyes of a clear summer sky, the dark brown hair, framing her round face, and only reaching the beginning of her neck, expressive and beautifully shaped eyebrows.
"He's on!" such simple face, yet his short straight hair, wide nose, and almond shaped eyes that showed his romantic and passionate side, equaled her dreams.
The happy news raced through both of their minds. Simply knowing that both were there for each other sent them into Eden.
"Como estas Angelita? How did your day go?"
"Oh Corazon, my day wasn't so good. It's such a relief to finally talk to you!"
"Que pasa Chiquita? You can tell me all." Laying on her bed with her laptop under the safety of a blanket, she paused to think of a gentle way to tell him; she knew his jealous and worrying nature. He wouldn't just be able to let one thing go, but honesty was always part of their conversations; she knew he'll understand her situation.
"A stupid guy ruined my day. Instead of working on the project, he attempted to kiss me, but of course I left, probably leaving him miserable, LOL."
"Be careful. You know... what if you wouldn't be able to escape?"
"Yeah, it was the last time I ever went to a guy's house. Uff, it's hot in here, wait a minute." She lifted the cover with caution. In the two beds next to hers, the two young women slept like babies. Celina tipi-toed to cool off outside and sat in front of their door barely making out in the dark the other dorms across from her.
"Why was it so hot?" He sipped water to chill himself, but he knew well temperatures were way lower in South Carolina.
"Oh, I was under the blankets, now I am outside. It smells like blossoms."
"Aww I wish here it was still spring, but it's summer already. Baby, if anything like this happens again, just tell me and I will come." He could feel his anger rise against all others who could hurt her.
"But how? And it's nothing to worry about."
"If you feel you are in real trouble and all those jerks are bothering you, just tell me. I won't waste a minute."
"Oh baby, I would even lie to you just so that you'll come! But alright, if I feel in danger, I'll call on you right away."
"Muak!"
"Muah...the stars are so beautiful!"
"Whatever happens remember I am always with you. Buenas noches."
"Chau, amor."
He promised to be online at a certain time, and he was, he promised to call her and he did, yet she couldn't believe the promise of him actually flying over to where she lived.
The trees nodded with agreement and the wind seemed to whisper, "Yes, you are right. It's impossible."
Without ease, Celina fell asleep hugging the pillow. No one knew how much she wanted him here with her.
Thank you so much for reading and leaving a comment! I made the corrections that you suggested. Soon I will post the next part of this story.
It was a good story. I did notice a few things though.
Angelita should be capitalized."Como estas angelita? How did your day go?"
Capitalize Corazon."Oh corazon, my day wasn't so good. It's such a relief to finally talk to you!"
Semi-colon after him and before she. Seems kind of like you could have added more to that sentence.Laying on her bed with her laptop under the safety of a blanket, she paused to think of a gentle way to tell him, she knew his jealous and worrying nature.
Try a semi-colon after conversations and before she; a comma makes no sense there.He wouldn't just be able to let one thing go, but honesty was always part of their conversations, she knew he'll understand her situation.
Period after miserable and capitalize lol.Instead of working on the project, he attempted to kiss me, but of course I left, probably leaving him miserable lol."
Comma after yeah."Yeah it was the last time I ever went to a guy's house.
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