'Electric Dreamer': Chapter Three: Maddie

Right, I'm not sure about this chapter, so any advice would be helpful.

*

I stared across the room at the boy who was eating a Big Mac. He’s cute - with blond hair and an emo fringe that just misses his turquoise eyes. His name’s Ed and I have a massive crush on him.

“Maddie. Maddie. Wake up.”

Amber waved her hand in my face and grinned when I shook my head, and myself, out of my daydream.

“What?” I asked dreamily.

“Do you want some more fries?”

“Yeah.”

“Tom, Maddie wants some more fries too!”

All six of us were in McDonald’s, writing lyrics, chatting and eating after a good shopping trip; Tom carrying the bags, of course. I hadn’t bought much, just a t-shirt and a new pair of high heels.

“Medium fries for the ladies.” Tom smiled ten minutes later, putting a tray covered with boxes of fries on the table.

“So, what are we doing after this?” Beth asked, stuffing her mouth with fries.

“Beth, don’t do that, it’s disgusting.” Paige said, grimacing at her. “I’m not fussed, but Mum said she wants me home by ten.”

“Well, it’s half past seven now.” Scarlett said, looking at her watch. “How about we go back to Beth and Amber’s house and do a bit of jamming?”

“Fine by me,” Amber replied, “but I don’t know what Mum’s reaction will be. I think she was expecting her and Dad to have a quiet night in together.”

We all glanced at each other and giggled. We all know what a quiet night in means to Mr and Mrs Churchhouse.

“Ok, maybe not that, then.” I grinned, once we had calmed down and stopped attracting the attention of random middle-aged people by our loud, hysterical giggling. “What about all of us going home and meeting up in a few days or whatever and doing some jamming then? Or writing some new songs?

“Ok by me.” Beth said, standing up and taking a sip of her Coke. “All that shopping tired me out. Come on, Amber, let’s get home and try not to interrupt the intense lovemaking session being undertaken by our parents at this very moment in time.”

Amber giggled. “Bye, guys.” she smiled, giving us all hugs and kisses before following Beth out onto the busy High Street.

“Bye, babe.” Paige gave me a quick hug and left, waving at me, Tom and Scarlett when she got to the door.

Soon I was the only one left. I was staying for a little bit longer because Ed was still there and I wanted to see if I could pick up the courage to say Hi and talk to him. But by the time I even got up to go and do that, he was on his way out! So I just went home.

Back home, all was quiet. Mum and Dad were in the living, watching a drama or film or something like that on TV, so I snuck upstairs and into my room. I sat by the window and daydreamed. Mainly about Ed, but also about what my life could be like if I wasn’t so shy. For one thing, I’d have been able to go up to Ed in McDonald’s easy-peasy, lemony-squeezy. I’d be able to make new friends at the drop of a hat. I’m telling you, being shy isn’t always as good as it seems.

*

Also, let me know if you think their 'voices' are too similar. It would be useful for the editing stage.