When I was young, I stood at a train station called Someday and waited for a train labeled Someone.
Everyone there was waiting for it. Rich people, broke people, people with degrees folded in their pockets like boarding passes. We checked our watches. We told each other it was running late. A man next to me had been there so long that moss had learned his name.
Someone was going to arrive and say: I’ve seen what you can do. Get on. I’ll take it from here.
I waited through my whole twenties like that. Polite. Patient. Practicing my face for the moment I’d be chosen.
Then one night it rained so hard the station lights died, and in the dark I heard it. Not a train. Just the tracks, humming. And I understood, the way you understand a bruise the second after it forms, that the tracks were not leading to anyone. There was no schedule. There was no Someone. There was only a long iron road, and the fact that I had legs.
Nobody is coming.
Not to rescue you. Not to notice you. Not to read your mind and hand you the life you’ve been rehearsing in the mirror. The people who could change everything are standing in their own stations, staring at their own empty tracks, whispering any minute now.
That’s not the tragedy. That’s the loophole.
Because if nobody is coming, then nobody is stopping you either. The door you’ve been waiting to be invited through was never locked, only unopened, and the hand that finally turns the knob will have your fingerprints on it.
So I walked out of that station in the wet dark, shaking, furious, grieving every year I’d spent holding my own ticket. And somewhere around the first mile, the fear changed shape. It stopped being a wall and started being weather.
You are the train. You were always the train.
Start moving.
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142,213 Literary Works • 676,880 Reviews
Hey Lilly!!♡
OKAY, THIS ONE. I needed to reread this one several times because of this incredibly painful feeling of waiting for someone to realize ur potential and allow you to use it.
I loved the line
because it gives such a huge amount of sense to the whole "waiting" theme. And by
i just want to hug myself again because, u know, I think it's so great when art gives u emotional relief. u can actually realize that maybe, just maybe, the lack of opportunities is not because of some tragic circumstances but rather because u haven't pushed yourself hard enough to make that little step forward. Not that u had to lose all ur family members and friends, or be alone in the entire universe, but u just hadn't wanted to leave ur comfort zone.
And
is such a great ending. It shows that the author understands that it's not always easy to take that fateful step forward and leave everything as it is. That's why they show all the negative emotions alongside the positive ones. The mix gives a great sense of what starting a journey feels like. So, well done, Lilly!! <3
Lovely work!!♡
~hira♡
hi lilly! i really loved this piece mainly because of its format - poetry written in narrative style really intrigues me, and i know your work is beautiful <3 i thought I’d return for a better review
oohh, v. v. interesting opening line! it caught my eye right away. i like the imagery you use throughout the piece, and grounding the beginning with figurative language was effective - it let me know you were going to use it as a framework for the whole poem ^^
the sentence structure is unique and helps illustrate the theme in certain places - e.g., writing instead of something like furthers the sort of tension in the metaphorical train station as opposed to just using a standard grammatical form.
the parallelism was also a good element to use in this piece (“That’s not the …”/“That’s the…”, “Not the …” “You are…”/“You were always ...” etc.) mainly because the short sentences fit it well. i think it would have thrown off the flow a bit if you’d gone the other route, so I’m glad you didn’t
the turning point was v. well done ! the realization that you spent all this time waiting for recognition or opportunity only to find out that you have to take charge of your own life and seize it was, i think, the uplifting part of this piece, like some sort of weight was lifted that you didn’t know was there until it was finally gone.
lmho that last part was so random and idk why 😭
i honestly have no critiques to add here! this is a meaningful, heartfelt piece, and i really enjoyed interpreting it. hope to see more from you soon!
~Juke/Vesh/Meilin 🪭
This piece is a powerful and thought-provoking reflection on waiting for opportunities, recognition, and someone to change your life. The writer uses an extended metaphor of a train station to represent the way people can spend years waiting to be noticed or rescued, rather than taking action themselves.
One of the strongest aspects of the writing is its imagery. The detail of a man who has waited so long that “moss had learned his name” is particularly memorable, as it vividly conveys how waiting can consume a person’s life. The contrast between the expected train and the realisation that there is no train at all creates a powerful turning point in the narrative.
The writing also explores an interesting contradiction: the idea that nobody is coming initially sounds hopeless, but gradually becomes empowering. The line “That’s not the tragedy. That’s the loophole” is especially effective because it transforms the message from one of despair into one of possibility. Similarly, “The fear changed shape. It stopped being a wall and started being weather” is an excellent use of figurative language, suggesting that fear does not necessarily disappear but can become something a person learns to move through.
The short sentences towards the end create a strong sense of urgency and determination. The final line, “You are the train. You were always the train,” provides a memorable conclusion that reinforces the central message of personal agency and taking control of one’s future.
Overall, this is an engaging and emotionally resonant piece that combines vivid imagery, an extended metaphor, and a clear philosophical message. Although its message about personal responsibility may feel somewhat absolute, its overall effect is inspiring and encourages readers to question whether they are waiting for permission to begin living the lives they want. The piece is particularly effective because it acknowledges the grief and frustration involved in letting go of that expectation before turning towards hope and action.