Before you were named, the morning was already
pouring itself into the hills like warm milk,
and a woman somewhere was humming
over a pot she did not know would outlast her.
Listen. The world is not asking you to understand it.
It is only asking you to stay a little longer
at the window, the way rain stays,
the way a mother's hand stays on a forehead
long after the fever has gone.
Everything you love is leaving, slowly,
politely, like light off a courtyard wall,
and this is not the tragedy.
This is the reason the light is gold.
So eat the orange as if it were the first sun.
Say the name you are afraid to say.
Let grief come in and sit down; it too
has walked a long way to find your door.
And when the night opens its enormous quiet,
do not call it empty.
Call it the room where every star
has been waiting, patiently, to be seen by you.
You are not visiting the world.
You are the way the world
learns what it is to be watched,
to be loved,
to be briefly, brilliantly here.
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I’m still new here, so i was just experimenting leaving a little piece of a thought outside my head to see where it would go. I’ve always loved philosophy for that exact reason one harmless question can open a door, then another, and suddenly you’re standing somewhere between consciousness, time, mortality, and the possibility that the universe itself is only another unanswered question. This poem came from somewhere in that corridor. I probably should have stopped at the first door.
<3
I would love to start off by saying that you did a very good job showing how the world really is, how not everything leaves fast but sometimes so slowly that you don't notice until it is gone as seen where you said
and it is true. The imagery in this section is very good and well appreciated by any reader.
I would also like to highlight this section before mentioning anything that needs critiquing. Life is not always a slow creating like previously mentioned, it is short, its a mix of everything. So placing this stanza in your poem was a brilliant move and should be remembered and appreciated.
Now, on to what could be fixed.
My only real spot to point out that could be fixed is here.
I do feel that you moved between ideas here to fast, and that you went from an excited expressive first two lines in the second stanza listed, and then abruptly changed to a depressing bit after which you may want to fix
EIther way you did an exceptional job overall with your poem. Good luck and keep writing in the future! The philosophical air to this really adds a good perspective that not everyone sees!
-PikeFisher4Life