Weeping Willow

by leilamuir

Published November 29, 2013

E - Everyone

In My stories

Weeping willow there you go,

Weeping so sad and slow.

Why do you weep with sorrow?

Will you still weep tomorrow?

Your branches are so high to the sky,

And low to the ground.

But your leafs are there to follow,

And your roots are so hollow

Stuck in the ground.

Just sitting there wondering what to do,

Because you are weeping willow

Pretty today and still pretty tomorrow

But yet still silent forever.

Oh, weeping willow.

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
SageofthePage
Review
SageofthePage wrote a review Review · Nov 29, 2013

This was a very well-done poem. A willow tree is my favorite kind of tree, so I felt especially connected to this one! There are a few spelling errors, like here where it says, "But your leafs are there to follow," that sentence is good, but try saying: "However your leaves are there to follow," it was just a tiny error that I'm sure everyone makes at some time in their lives.

Otherwise I really liked this poem. Keep writing!

User avatar
anshira
Review
anshira wrote a review Review · Nov 29, 2013

Hi, leilamur. I love this poem. Its nice, sweet and short. The rhyming here and there is refreshing. The emotion of this poem is portrayed well. My favourite lines were:

"But your leafs are there to follow,
And your roots are so hollow"

I like you referring to the leaves and the roots. One thing you could improve is your puncuation. Certain lines are missing it.

I love your work and hopeto readmore of you soon.

- Anshira

beccalicious94 wrote a review Review · Nov 29, 2013

Welcome to YWS, Beccalicious94 here to review your work. I'd like to first off note that the description of the conception of the poem instantly drew me, as I am wont to write when insomnia wins as well.

I thought your poem what short and sweet--I kind of wish there was more. In terms of the rhyme scheme, I think that if you choose to have one it should be consistent throughout. I thought you did a particularly good job at using the parts of the willow to convey meaning such as "roots are so hollow" and "stuck in the ground" as they also have emotional connotations. What I took away from this poem was that it is relatable to people who have every reason to be proud of themselves yet suffer from low self-esteem.

Keep up the good work, and write on!



The things you are passionate about are not random, they are your calling.
— Fabienne Fredrickson