Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,178 Literary Works • 673,037 Reviews
Hey lancemccoy!
First of all let me just say straight up that I didn't find this very entertaining or captivating. Your style, in my opinion, is better suited to writing stories. Poem's like this aren't very looked at by the community, because it isn't a very fluid writing style that mature writers use these days. I'm not sure how everyone else feels about this but I'm personally on the side of really captivating poems that tell a good story. Next thing is the last verse. I would like to come straight up and say it dosent make any sense at all. What session and what is the question? After I read this I was still puzzeled to what the question was. I think that if you want to keep writing poems like this then you have to improve on the things I suggested. But all in all this is a great effort with some verses that make sense and good rhyming at some points.
sorry if you think this is to harsh,
Jordan
Hey Jordan!
Thanks for the comment! I appreciate your honesty. Maybe I should stick to writing stories. I think I tried to hard to make the poem rhyme and didn't focus enough on how it was structured. That's probably why it doesn't make much sense.
Anyway, Thanks again for the comment! I appreciate it!