Hey you, yes you! The one who captured me
I have been watching you, can you tell?
Hey, please don't go, stay with me, do not flee...
Good, you came back, are you under my spell?
I love your hair, so beautiful and light
Your eyes see all, but they show a hurt soul
I hate who ever hurt you, did they take flight?
With my honest love, I will make you whole...
Now we are as one, always keep me near
Without your kind hold, my life would unwind
Now with you holding me, I shall not fear
Glad you choose me, you are one of a kind
Dearest love, how wonderous we shall be
My only love, it is just you and me
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,800 Reviews
if you continue to write a lot, i believe you can perfect some of your flaws. for one - you were very informal in this poem, and it sort of drenched the entire meaning, like some sort of fast-track story you tried to shove in a shakespearean sonnet. on top of that, your rhyming in spots is, alas, forced. here:
do not flee? ACK! so redundant...
two ideas, one line - very crowded.
how about "glad you chose me, as your one of a kind"?