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Weird Crap Writers Do

by ladcat13

1) Research pregnancy because you want to be aware of the details so you can write it accurately

2) Delete your internet history  because you don't want anyone to think you're pregnant.

3) Spend forever and a day on a baby names website trying to find a fitting name for an unimportant  side character

4) Write two pages, realize you went on a giant tangent, delete what you just wrote, go back to re-work it.

5) Keep a synonym-finder website open on the next tab because you know you can't use the word "beautiful" more  than twice in the same paragraph

6) Talk to the dog about a plot point because there's no one else around who puts up with you

7) Relate something someone else did in real life to something that a character did in your story and proceed to explain why it's funny

8) Receive blank looks in return to #7

9) Limp around the kitchen because your leg fell asleep while you were sitting in front of your computer

10) Save up money to buy a commission for your book's cover on Deviantart

11) Spend that money on chocolate or other various things because you are easily distracted and quickly become bored.

12) Get sidetracked on YouTube, Facebook, etc.

13) Watch shows like Doctor Who, Sherlock, and Supernatural to prove to yourself that yes, it IS okay to kill that character.

14) Read great old classic books because your literary standards are too high and you're picky.

15) Get ice cream on your computer keyboard while you're writing and spend an extra twenty minutes cleaning it.

16) Write something pointless like this because you're bored and frustrated with the lack of movement in the chapter you're writing

17) Say "screw it I'm done for today, I've done enough work,"

18) Realize you've only been writing for half an hour and you have two paragraphs done. You are an hour and four pages away from your daily goal

19) Guiltily plunk back down and keep writing the damn story because WHAT ELSE DO YOU HAVE TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE

(You have no social life because you spend so much time writing)

(You don't care about your homework because you'd rather write)

(God knows you don't go to the gym because you're lazy and proud)

So basically, you have nothing else to do with your life. Writing consists of all your hopes and dreams.

Good luck.

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113 Reviews

Points: 181
Reviews: 113

Thu Feb 15, 2018 8:37 pm
Bellarke says...

This is what I do the most and it is funny, because my mom is lie "What are you doing" Research pregnancy because you want to be aware of the details so you can write it correctly

This is exactly what I do, also because of my mother Delete your internet history because you don't want (MOM) to think I am pregnant.

I loved the honesty in this so much!!!!!!


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13 Reviews

Points: 240
Reviews: 13

Sun Nov 01, 2015 4:58 pm

Just have to say it, that is me right there. To a T. Especially 3, 7-8, 9, & 17-19. 1, 2, & 5 I can relate to, but with other things. Like synonyms for the word plant. Don't ask, I might be putting the first chapter of that book on here, which is a big step for me, but let's not talk about that. This is amazing!!! I'm going to star this one for sure!

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99 Reviews

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Sat Oct 31, 2015 1:59 pm
Remington38 says...

This was beautiful. 3.) is so true and even more true on having no social life. 14.) Is also extremely true. I really love this and obviously you hit the nail on the head for all of us.

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Fri Oct 30, 2015 1:45 am
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AlexOcelotMc says...


This is 100% true!

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107 Reviews

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Thu Oct 29, 2015 11:05 pm
Persistence says...

This. Is. So. True!

#20) Not sleep because you want to write, not write because you need sleep.

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67 Reviews

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Thu Oct 29, 2015 10:49 pm
joallover says...

22/22. Oh yes, the life of a writer is a hard one

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25 Reviews

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Thu Oct 29, 2015 6:44 pm
Iamawriter says...

I can relate!

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Thu Oct 29, 2015 4:31 pm
rparmar says...

if your literary needs are not sated by modern books, you're looking in the wrong places. Classics weren't always classics.

17 really? I find myself practically injecting caffeine into my bloodstream just so I can stay awake for another 30 minutes, just so I can finish this "last page."
Dreams are simply not as entertaining as waking thoughts.

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44 Reviews

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Thu Oct 29, 2015 3:26 pm
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Duncan says...

Number three is so true that it freaks me out.

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Thu Oct 29, 2015 12:00 am
Sevro wrote a review...

Hi, ladcat13, this is my first review EVER, so sorry if it's not what you're looking for. The whole time while I was reading this, I was smiling and nodding, because, while I wouldn't consider myself a big "writer" (I'm more of a reader, myself), Savvy (my sister) most definitely does a good majority of these things (3, 4, 7, 8, 16, 18, and 19 mostly). I feel like this definitely goes to show how well writers know each other, and their tendencies to do things like the ones you mentioned above. I love the homework thing you put at the bottom- it's totally true, and, as a proud reader of storybooks, novels, speed-chats, and featured items (*cough* Wierd Crap Writers Do *cough*), I can tell you that it takes me about four times longer than it should to do my trig homework because YWS. In short, I loved this, and if writing isn't a good purpose in life, then I don't know what is. :p

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8 Reviews

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Wed Oct 28, 2015 10:21 pm
Mikayla386 says...

It's scary how true this is.

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53 Reviews

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Wed Oct 28, 2015 9:10 pm
Ronald559 wrote a review...

I thought this was funny, but I often don't do most of these things.
I do research a lot. I keep the history because I like to screw with people.
I run in the mornings 4 miles, it helps me think, and I work out stories during that time.
I think you NEED a social life to have good content.
I write 500 words minimum per day but on days where there is something going on my life I don't.
I don't watch any of the shows you mention and don't get it.
My foot is always falling asleep.
And I talk out loud to myself all the time. Explaining plot points and character motives.
Names kind of come easy to me. I love naming things.
I don't overwrite I tend to not write enough. And I will still cut out a lot of words, and rewrite chapters, scenes, characters.
My novel is 21,393 words long. And my unused material from my novel is 20,054 words long. It's crazy.
I do get sidetracked.
It was still great fun to read though. I don't know if you really want reviews but you should make the list of a hundred. And you should get in depth, and exaggerated for better laughs.

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Wed Oct 28, 2015 8:47 pm
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felistia wrote a review...

Hi Felistia here with a short review.

Ha ha. This is really funny, but I don't do any of this stuff other than perhaps number 4. I rewrote Talons of Flame five times from scratch. The whole plot, characters and title were changed five time. I guess killing of hundreds of characters before they even reached the second chapter counts as number 13 though I don't watch those exact shows.
This is a very funny list and I hope to see more in the future. Have a good day/night

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573 Reviews

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Wed Oct 28, 2015 8:25 pm
Magebird says...

This so true. The things that I've researched for the sake of writing. For example, Halloween costumes involving death...Who knew people could make such realistic looking and gory costumes?
Seriously, do you know me or something? I've done pretty much all of these-With the exception of the ice cream, deleting search history, and pregnancy parts. Haven't hard to research that yet...
Awesome list thingy!-Is that what I would call this? I'm terrible with words sometimes, and yet writing consists of all my hopes and dreams. :D

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120 Reviews

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Wed Oct 28, 2015 7:21 pm
ladcat13 says...

I think maybe the eating stuff is just me. I was being very negative yesterday when I wrote this, it does tend to happen :D

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Wed Oct 28, 2015 4:18 pm
Storygirl95 says...

Oh my god, I don't think I've ever read anything more accurate in my life.
ESPECIALLY #7 . You have no idea how many times I'm just sittingthere and saying, "Oh, it was so funny. Speaking of search history, my character did this last night."
Everyone thinks I'm weird. They're right.

And I have to say I genuinely love you. You've made me day with this haha. :) :) :) :)

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Wed Oct 28, 2015 3:28 pm

LOL I loved this!! (had to delete my history when I was researching how to poison a character on my school laptop) Thing I don't relate to is eating while I write- I eat downstairs, with my computer in another room and out of sight, as a distraction.
And Supernatural only proves that there are loop holes to killing off good characters!!!
But yeah, this is great!!

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Wed Oct 28, 2015 12:32 pm
Sunshine1113 says...

This would be me too XD Except I would have to delete my search history on like the mating call of the moose and how dogs track blood trails >.>

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Wed Oct 28, 2015 11:49 am
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origamidragons wrote a review...

This is so incredibly true. I love it.

I'm just gonna say that I don't comfort eat while I write. I don't know anyone who does. So I think the most inaccurate thing here is that you paint authors as just sad, and all of them that I know just LOVE what they do. I know this is a joke and it excels at that, don't get me wrong, but you seem a bit unfair in that respect.

Also, at the end, it should be 'quit', not 'quick'.

The poetry of the earth is never dead.
— John Keats