I remember when I first drew those lines, before school today, first with marker, then with the cold metal razor. The cold ink first touched my stomach, as I traced over the line over and over again, trying to talk myself out of it, but I couldn’t bring myself to, so I continued my artwork. I tattooed my body everywhere I didn’t want the pain to linger, arms, wrists, back, stomach, but left my bottom half barren. Then, I went at it. The sharp edge pierced my white skin and I cringed with pain, then I traced the lines, and they turned from black, to red, and they dribbled like paint. I finished my stomach off, and then went to the rest. By the time I got to my arms, it didn’t hurt anymore, but I still continued, till ever hint of black was saturated with crimson. I don’t know if the pain stopped, or if I just got use to it, but I lived my short filled happiness. I threw on my shirt and sweatshirt and walked out the door, feeling the warm, sticky blood drip down me. For the first time since then, I felt like the world wasn’t coming after me.
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140,633 Literary Works • 673,570 Reviews
Hello there Kenadaey I hope this short review give you some small help.
Hmm well this was very well written although there were a few mistakes that I could see such as you need to press the enter key after you write a period.
But as a few others I have noticed this name "Those lines" does not really fit into it I mean you only said it like once so I would say you could call it tattoos or something like that.
I loved this piece even though you had way to many commas.
Keep writing this sort of thing I think you have a talent for it.
In other words although it was not my style I loved it.
Keep writing you know the old saying "Practice makes perfect" and it is very true.
May god be with you.
~Jon~
Hello! Let me just say first off, welcome to YWS! Okay, so besides a couple of missed letters, nothing's wrong here. But with the last line, you left me hanging! I don't know if you plan to make a second part to kind of make it more complete, but I recommend it. Anyway, welcome again, and hope you have an awesome experience here at YWS.