Thursday, January 2nd, 2014, 4:09 PM
This isn't really going to focus on my day although the way I feel right now is a perfect gateway to today. I woke up past 1, feeling groggy and weak. I glanced at my phone, knowing my day was over. I could easily fulfill a lot in 11 hours but, I have no where to go really. I could have done a lot but I just have little motivation today. I don't like this feeling I have. It's a combination of sadness and confusion. I don't know how or when or where to start my life. I hate this feeling because even when I'm sky high happy without a care in the world, with my get to it attitude, ready to run down the street jumping with joy because I only have one life, I can't just recreate it. Once I'm in this awful mood it wont go away. I can distract myself and do other things to take my mind off it, but there it lingers in the recesses of my mind just harboring and gnawing at my brain, as if I'm not aloud or supposed to be happy. My life is young as of now, very very young. I already feel as if everyday I've lived and lived for eternity. That doesn't make much sense reading but in my head it does. Anyways, today I did some chores and took a shower, I'll attempt my homework. I'm not feeling today. I just don't now anymore. My emotions are an ever changing tidal wave full of unbridled indulgence and anger. Typing and writing means so much to me. Of everything in my life, it's really where I feel the safest, the most calm. But. I most likely will not be writing later today because nothing too crazy should happen. If I do, I hope it's wild. My spirits should brighten, I would hope so at least. bye
I feel dazed and sleepy. I could just get lost in a maze of white blankets and sunshine. I can't wait to write and travel. I'll be able to stay at home often. I'll have time for myself and my family. I wanna start out in an apartment. A nice one in the City with my girl. Then eventually make some good money, propose. Then try to move into a nice house. I don't know all the details or why I'm even focusing on them anyway. I go back to school monday I'm a freshman in high school what am I doing. STOP
7:20 PM
All my body desires is to sleep and write I don't understand. Neither physically demanding, but are the two most important things in this world to me.
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,776 Reviews
Honestly, I did not expect a diary entry to be so well-written... I'm really impressed and taken by surprise! I can tell that you are a really good writer.
I guess the reason why I liked this piece was because for me, it was really relatable. I found myself connecting to what you were writing, whether I was reading it the way you intended or not.
Great phrases, really created imagery. Just the fact that for example, in the second sentence you're basing it off a quite simple idea like distraction, yet you take it two steps further and really make it mean something with the correct use of metaphors.
A few nitpicks:
*allowed
I would add in an "it" after "reading".
I think you meant *know.
Also I noticed in the first few sentences you change the tense.
I know this is just a journal entry to speak your thoughts, but careful not to repeat yourself too often in your other pieces of work.
Of course, try changing the formatting if that's possible.
Oh, I just read the other review! We have very different opinions, haha.
Keep writing!
Thank you very much for your input. It means a lot.
Why do I have to scroll to read it all? Wouldn't it have been easier to post in the normal format? I can tell this is your first work because it needs a lot of improvement. Your journal entry also seems a little bit pointless, i.e. I do not relate to it. I find your work also confusing and devoid of knowledge of its setting, its time period and even the room the character is in. I do not really understand the purpose of the entry.
The formatting I kept as I typed it initially. Changing it definitely would've made it easier to read. It was simply me writing down how I felt, so I could recall the way I was feeling that day at a later time. Its purpose wasn't to be relatable or specific. It was a journal entry and that was all. I liked the place my mind was in so I shared it. This isn't my first work, I'd hardly call it a work. Only my thoughts written down. Thank you for your criticism, I'll use it to set more of a basis for myself as I continue to write.
The formatting I kept as I typed it initially. Changing it definitely would've made it easier to read. It was simply me writing down how I felt, so I could recall the way I was feeling that day at a later time. Its purpose wasn't to be relatable or specific. It was a journal entry and that was all. I liked the place my mind was in so I shared it. This isn't my first work, I'd hardly call it a work. Only my thoughts written down. Thank you for your criticism, I'll use it to set more of a basis for myself as I continue to write.