Written by Justin Kalaveras
5/16/14
(Lights go on, a man named Jim is on stage eating a banana)
(A man dressed up like a cop comes out holding a nightstick walks right up to Jim and just stares at him)
Jim: Who are you?
Cop: Ima Cop.
Jim: Okay. Can I help you?
Cop: Well for one thing, eating a banana out in the middle of the road isnt such a good idea.
Jim: Road? Im not in the middle of the road. What are you talking about?
Cop: Hey wise guy I'm just saying that you should go eat your banana somewhere else.
Jim: Okay. (Jim walks over to left side of the stage and continues eating his banana)
Cop: (Walks over to Jim and puts hands on hips leans in towards Jim and makes a cough to get his attention)
Jim: What now?
Cop: Really? Like you dont know.
Jim: No I don’t.
Cop: You see that sign there? It says no eating.
Jim: What sign? You just pointed off in the distance.
Cop: Don't get smart with me.
Jim: I'm not.
Cop: Do I have to put you in custody.
Jim: For what?!
Cop: One breaking the law (pointing at the invisible sign again) and two threatening a cop.
Jim: I'm not doing either of those things.
Cop: Thats it! (Grabs Jim by the arm and puts him in handcuffs)
Jim: What the heck man!
Cop: Stop resisting!
Jim: I'm not!
Cop: Thats it! (Hits Jim with the nightstick)
Jim: This is police brutality!
Cop: I’ll show you police brutality dirtbag. (Takes Jim to the ground stomping on him and hitting him with the nightstick)
Jim: Ow ow, stop!
Cop: I don’t like you.
Jim: The feelings mutual.
Cop: You're going away for a long time.
Jim: I didn't do anything officer.
Cop: Do I have to call in backup?
Jim: Why would you need to do that?
Cop: Okay! (Takes out a police walkie talkie) I need back up, I got a dangerous criminal here and I can't handle him myself.
Jim: I'm not dangerous, i'm just laying here hurt from you attacking me.
Cop: Keep your mouth shut.
(Two other guys walk out dressed like gangsters and one has a plastic baseball bat)
Cop: Heres the back up, your in trouble now.
Jim: Who are these guys, they're not cops.
Cop: I should know whos a cop and whos not.
Gangster #1: Okay whats the problem?
Cop: This guy thinks its funny to mess with cops and break the law.
Gangster #2: Does he now?
Cop: He sure does.
Jim: No i dont! Does it look like I’m laughing?
Gangster #1: (Hits him with plastic baseball bat) Shut up you.
Jim: Please stop, i haven't done anything.
Cop: He has a gun!
(The two gangsters jump on Jim beating him up)
Cop: (Cop goes in Jims pocket and takes his wallet) Okay boys are job is done here.
(Black Out)
Points:
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IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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140,607 Literary Works • 673,549 Reviews
Heyllo!
(One of my weirdest greetings!) So, first off I just and really want to appreciate what you've written. It's fantastic! I loved it from the very start. I don't see script in the Green room often so, it's different and not to forget, your title dragged me here. ^^ (Yeah, alright, it's like being very common thing for me these days to talk about titles, but, I really can't help it!) Not this that I'm an expert at naming things, no! But, I like good titles. :3
So, now, moving to your work, it's humorous of course! And, to be honest, I personally am very scared of people like that COP. They're too dangerous and way too clever! >_< I enjoyed reading this overall. I never wrote scripts, so, can't give you helpful suggestions, pardon me for that. And, I see you're gonna perform it! Whoa! Good luck on that.
So, totally hilarious, keep making people laugh!
~Nire
Hi there,
I really liked this piece. It is very humorous. In the beginning of the piece, I thought he was actually a cop, and I said to myself "Wow, this is a good script. It is reflecting the police violence from the real world". But later on, when I realized that I was wrong, I thought what you had written was in fact more creative! So thumbs up for creativity. Just one little thing though, in the last line. Instead of "are job", I assume you meant "our job"? It is a very minor thing but I give too much importance to spelling personally
Also please kindly consider to italicize the stage directions when writing a script
You could make this piece a little longer; I would like to see this gangsters robbing other people in funny ways as well.
Keep up the great work!
That was really funny!!! Wow, how did you come up with that?? God, that was hilarious!!!!!!!
I loved that the cop had gangsters back him up. Doesn't he know that gangsters are criminals?? Why did you have Jim eating a banana instead of a sandwich or something??? Okay, that was a seriously random question. Why do I say things like that?????????????
He wasn't real cop, he was a gangster too, but he was posing as a cop to harass the guy.
I laughed so hard when reading this, it was really funny.
It would do good as a comedy act, it usually takes a lot to make me laugh so this was really good. I didn't notice any grammar mistakes, or any punctual issues.
It was quite funny and different. On a scale from 1-10 it's a 9.
Great Job, I wanna see more stuff like this.
Thumbs Up!
Sincerely, @ScarletDreams14; Member of Salsa Verde
Writer, Artist, Student and Reader
X'D This is hilarious. I love how he get's robbed at the end. I noticed you forgot an apostrophe in the line: "Jim: The feelings mutual."
Also, a recommendation, what if Jim continues to talk after the cop leaves? What if he cries out for help, but no one can hear him? I think that would be funny, but it's just a recommendation.
Super funny!
- Corax
Pretty cool man.
have you preformed this?
Not yet, but it is going to be performed in November in my school's drama program.
Triptastic