Young Writers Society

Heyllo! (One of my weirdest greetings!) So, first off I just and really want to appreciate what you've written. It's fantastic! I loved it from the very start. I don't see script in the Green room often so, it's different and not to forget, your title dragged me here. ^^ (Yeah, alright, it's like being very common thing for me these days to talk about titles, but, I really can't help it!) Not this that I'm an expert at naming things, no! But, I like good titles. :3

So, now, moving to your work, it's humorous of course! And, to be honest, I personally am very scared of people like that COP. They're too dangerous and way too clever! >_< I enjoyed reading this overall. I never wrote scripts, so, can't give you helpful suggestions, pardon me for that. And, I see you're gonna perform it! Whoa! Good luck on that.

So, totally hilarious, keep making people laugh!

~Nire

Hi there,
I really liked this piece. It is very humorous. In the beginning of the piece, I thought he was actually a cop, and I said to myself "Wow, this is a good script. It is reflecting the police violence from the real world". But later on, when I realized that I was wrong, I thought what you had written was in fact more creative! So thumbs up for creativity. Just one little thing though, in the last line. Instead of "are job", I assume you meant "our job"? It is a very minor thing but I give too much importance to spelling personally
Also please kindly consider to italicize the stage directions when writing a script
You could make this piece a little longer; I would like to see this gangsters robbing other people in funny ways as well.
Keep up the great work!

That was really funny!!! Wow, how did you come up with that?? God, that was hilarious!!!!!!! I loved that the cop had gangsters back him up. Doesn't he know that gangsters are criminals?? Why did you have Jim eating a banana instead of a sandwich or something??? Okay, that was a seriously random question. Why do I say things like that?????????????

I laughed so hard when reading this, it was really funny.
It would do good as a comedy act, it usually takes a lot to make me laugh so this was really good. I didn't notice any grammar mistakes, or any punctual issues.

It was quite funny and different. On a scale from 1-10 it's a 9.

Great Job, I wanna see more stuff like this.

Thumbs Up!


Sincerely, @ScarletDreams14; Member of Salsa Verde


Writer, Artist, Student and Reader

X'D This is hilarious. I love how he get's robbed at the end. I noticed you forgot an apostrophe in the line: "Jim: The feelings mutual."
Also, a recommendation, what if Jim continues to talk after the cop leaves? What if he cries out for help, but no one can hear him? I think that would be funny, but it's just a recommendation.
Super funny!

- Corax

Pretty cool man.
have you preformed this?