If in the woods you walked around
Lost only to never be found
Would you proclaim freedom abound
Or cry, cry, cry, shouting aloud.
--
In every direction you're free to move
But, every direction you're more removed
Dig deep, take heed, drag your heels, make a groove
Don't give up, run amok, maybe you've found the right mood
--
If every door is open, are you truly free
Is every door the answer you need it to be
First find your compass, N, S, W, E
It's your tools, skills, restrictions that will bring you peace.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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125,022 Literary Works • 672,759 Reviews
Please leave as many critiques as you can think of. I love constructive criticism and only want to better my ability to articulate my ideas, thoughts, philosophies, and understandings of the world.
Trick or Write, curious mind!
Rinisha is back here and ready to review 📚!
Buckle up, 'cause this is going to be a bumpy ride. I’m going to keep it short alright!✨
All in all
This party rocked, let's take a quick look!
This is a very nice poem you have written here. I see you are new to YWS, so welcome.
I think you will have a very good time here. I love the meaning behind the poem, it really comes through strongly. Fancy title too, I must add, rather light and thoughtful.
This is my favourite stanza. I love what you did with the compass.
You could work on:✒️
I think your poem is a sweet song. The rhyming and the whole feel of it gives it away. Think about it. You have great potential and I would definitely recommend you to keep on writing.
Be sure to check out…📔🔖
By @EsmerayaRose, @Liminality and @Starshipgirl
These authors have written some very nice poems, specialising in depth, structure and emotion. Not to mention realistic and fantastical themes. So if you can learn or get inspiration from anywhere, I would definitely check out some poems by them.
Have a nice day or night further! Keep writing! You are amazing!
this is a really interesting exploration of self-discovery. i think your usage of symbolism throughout is compelling.
youve set a solid timeline here. your first stanza is the foundation with the setting of being lost & the ambiguity of whether thats good or bad. the second stanza emphasizes perseverance. the last stanza is about freedom & choices, but also the possible consequences. true freedom comes from within.
i dont happen to enjoy repetition & rhyme, but i think the use of it complements your writing style. the cohesion pairs well with the nature imagery throughout. you might want to consider refining your flow & structure further though. id suggest experimenting with line breaks & other rhyme schemes. it could help you emphasize ideas better & control pacing.
your poem is very thought-provoking. i think the theme is very meaningful. with some fine-tuning, id love to see how it could blossom.
envy