Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.
"What took you so long?" He had his arms crossed. "I'm tired of waiting, let's watch a movie." He ushered me out of the bathroom and onto the couch. Why was he being so pushy? We're not even friends, and we don’t like each other. I sat in the corner of the couch, knowing there was too much room for him to sit next to me. But I was wrong. He plopped onto the couch right next to me.
"This is a long couch, y’know?" He looked at me with that gaze I couldn't quite describe. As I was looking at him, I remembered he had my hair tie. "Give me my hair tie back." I held my hand out, waiting for it. He looked at my hand and then back up at me. My cheeks got hot, and I couldn’t keep eye contact, so I looked away. "Hurry up and put on a movie," I said quickly.
He laughed and put on The Exorcist, getting up to turn off the lights. I hated him even more now. A horror movie? I’ll just have to bear it—I didn’t want him to think I was a scaredy cat. As the movie got creepier, I scooted a little closer to him. Without thinking, he wrapped an arm around me, and I jolted. I didn’t expect that.
"You okay?" he asked, sounding concerned. I didn’t want to be vulnerable and admit it, but if I didn’t, I’d have to keep watching the terrifying movie. "I’m scared, I don’t want to watch this." I sounded like a baby, and I hated that.
"Then we don’t have to watch this. We can watch something else," he suggested quickly, not wanting to see me upset. "You don’t need to cry. I’ll change it." My head snapped toward him.
"I’m not gonna cry!" I pouted, crossing my arms over my chest. I thought he would groan or roll his eyes, but instead, he changed the movie and put on a goofy action movie, my favorite.
"Well, I think tutoring time is up," he said abruptly, standing and stretching. He grabbed his things and walked toward the door. I hurried to my feet to tell him bye but paused. Why did I want to see him off? I sat back down and waited until I heard the door click. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. Then I remembered he still had my hair tie. Great, now I’d have to get it from him at school in the morning. I thrashed around in frustration, silently throwing a tantrum, knowing no one could hear. The hair tie I still had snapped, making my hair fall around my face and onto the couch. I liked the inches, sue me.
I took a deep breath to calm myself, stood up, and started cleaning the living room. Just as I was about to finish, I froze. Isaiah was standing there, watching me.
"How long have you been standing there?" I gulped. He must’ve seen my silent tantrum.
"Since you started your little tantrum," he smiled, still wearing my hair tie. I sighed.
"Why are you still here? Go home." I was too exhausted to deal with him right now.
"Your parents texted me and asked me to stay until they get home. You know, so you wouldn’t be alone?" He had that smug grin again. I couldn’t believe they trusted him to be here. With me. Alone! Why were they so lenient about the wrong things?
"Stay in the living room and nowhere else," I glared, not ready for him to see or be in my room.
"I got it, I got it," he threw up his hands in mock surrender, a smug smirk on his face. "I hate that handsome face..." I muttered, immediately regretting it. I whipped my head around, my face burning. "I mean heinous!" I bolted upstairs, not wanting to see his reaction. I slammed the door and locked it, pressing my back against the door and slowly sliding to the floor. I was as red as a tomato. I stomped on the floor, grabbed my phone, and texted Jaiden what I had accidentally said to him. She called me right away.
I answered, bracing myself for a scream or squeal, but instead, she said, "Girl, might as well date him at this point."
I sucked my teeth, not trying to hear that. "Girl, shut up and tell me what I should do."
She Facetimed me, and when I answered, she had a serious expression on her face. "Always use protection."
I blushed and hung up on her, slamming my head on my bed. I looked at my phone and saw she had texted me a winky face emoji. I sighed and put my phone down.
I heard a knock at my door. I knew it was him but didn’t want to open it. I willed myself to open the door, and there he was, standing there with a dopey grin. I was pouting, not looking him in the eyes.
"What’d you say about my face?" he asked, leaning down to meet my eyes. He hooked his finger under my chin, making me look at him.
"I said it was heinous," I muttered, my face getting even hotter. I knew I was blushing, but I didn’t know why.
"No, you didn’t, you said handsome. Am I handsome to you?" He got insanely close to my face, looking at my lips. This was the first time I really looked at him this way, as ‘hot’ or ‘fine.’ He started to lean closer and closer to my face. I almost leaned toward him, too, until I heard the front door open.
My parents were home.
I pulled away immediately and pushed him out of my room into the hallway, running past him and down the stairs. I skipped like six steps, making it to my parents, who looked surprised to see me running toward them.
"What’s wrong with you?" my father asked, looking around for something wrong.
"Nothing, Mr. Brooks" he answered for me, showing up behind me. "She was just excited to tell you the tutoring went well, right?" He turned to me, his signature smirk on his face with his annoying dimple. All I could do was sit there, dazed, while he talked to my parents like we weren’t just about to kiss.
The word "kiss" echoed in my mind as he left my home, waving to me with that knowing smirk. I stood there, shocked, while my parents walked past me, acting like I was invisible. I walked like a zombie back to my room, still in a daze. I lay down in my bed, trying to go to sleep, but I couldn’t. Every time I closed my eyes, I relived the moment over and over again—how I almost kissed my rival, my enemy. I was supposed to hate him, and now look at me. I turned in my bed and tried to sleep, hoping I wouldn’t see him tomorrow.
End of chapter
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Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the spooky S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - Ariyana and Isaiah watch The Exorcist at first, but she doesn’t like that, so he changes it to be something else. They almost kiss each other, too, but her parents come home, and then they must break away.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I think them both watching the movies could be described more, but that’s just one little thing.
Chocolate Bar - I like how the fact Ariyana was almost going to kiss him lingers in her mind as she’s getting ready to go to bed. She’s in quite a daze and I don’t blame her, it’s a lot to take in.
Closing Graham Cracker - Overall, a lovely chapter expanding on the relationship between Isaiah and Ariyana! I will be sure to read more chapters when they are posted and…
I wish you a marvelous day/night! ^v^
Hi! So, I've read both chapter one and two, and I really liked this. It was funny, cute, and I got the vibes that the guy (Isaiah, right?? Maybe try putting his name in a few more times instead of just calling him "he." I couldn't find his name in this chapter after reading it. That's just a suggestion, though) already likes the girl due to the fact that he kept flirting with her and sitting close to her. In fact, I would really love to see a couple chapters from his perspective instead, so we can get a feel for how he feels about her, but obviously that's up to you

I will say, I personally thought the girl's feelings felt a TINY bit rushed, since before this night she supposedly hated him, and now suddenly she's, like, crushing hard it seems. But it really isn't bad. Just my opinion. And if that's how it's supposed to be (like maybe she had secret feelings the whole time but just never knew or acknowledged them), then this makes perfect sense. I just think if she hated him beforehand, then it feels slightly fast, but again, that's just my personal opinion and this is still really cute and good
Also, I love the girl's friend, Jaiden. She's hilarious and sounds like the perfect hopeless-romantic best friend. "Always use protection" is quality. Wonderful character right there.
Hellooo!! So in order to give a review on this, I decided to check on the first chapter. The writing is very familiar to YA romance stories with its more-so simplistic and direct writing, first-person perspective, and its tropes. While this prose may not be my personal preference (though, I still do find value in and like this type of writing!), this story's prose does well when fitting in that genre and marketing to teenagers due to those aspects I listed earlier. It's very easy to read, but also this writing being through the perspective of a character with very strong character traits (particularly, her view towards Isaiah) makes it more interesting to engage with this writing, as it slowly works on deconstructing this character's perspective.
Our narrator has a sense misdirected anger but also fascination, and feels some inferiority towards Isaiah. What interests me most of that she says they don't "like each other", however this constant competition and rivalry seems very one-sided and mainly from her end, as a way to "justify" her dislike towards him. We hardly get any genuine sense that Isaiah genuinely dislikes her—or at least, dislikes her as much as she claims he dislikes her and as much she dislikes him—at most he is a teaser and some actions come off as condescending, and perhaps fuels into this competition but in a more light-hearted way. It would be interesting to not just see her anger slowly become more directed at her parents later on due to their strict parenting, but also to address these uncomfortable parts of herself!
What I especially love about the writing is how it slowly gives information of the characters' physical looks. Not only that- but the mentioned detail of these physical looks genuinely make sense for the story, and doesn't just come off as information *solely* for the reader (and because of this, these details don't come off as too artificial and unnatural to read), which is just very refreshing. These physical features in this story are mainly mentioned here to give emphasis on the narrator's obvious underlying physical attraction towards Isaiah, while also showing how much the narrator feels the need to seek out more things to dislike about him & to inherently find his physical traits something to dislike due to her strong dislike of him. The mention of these physical traits aren't mainly for us but for us to know more about the narrator, which is honestly just great and so executed great here.
This is a small thing, but what I also really like is that these main characters have box braids and locs... it's quite unconventional for main characters (especially in YA romance, as I assume due to what I hear about the genre) to be wearing black hairstyles!! Which is refreshing!
Though, even when the main character commented on this, I still do found it odd for Isaiah to stay here. I get it, it's usual YA romance stuff, which usually revolves around desperately trying to push the main lead and their love interest in close proximity even if it may come off as unnatural/too forced to the reader.
Though, him staying here would be given more weight and "life" to it if it was known that he had some closeness to her parents other than him being a tutor for their daughter. Like perhaps him also attending the same church her parents go to, or his and her parents being friends, etc. could make her parents trusting him enough to stay home with her more believable while *also* commenting on their lenience due to this closeness not really showing any "trust" in the traditional sense due to this "trust" mainly being based on association.
It is a bit of a personal preference for this aspect of the story to have that weight, though I'm sure her parents allowing that give emphasis on how much they put value in grades to the point of potentially risking their daughter being put in danger by some guy because of his better grades. Which yeah, is very revealing of their messed up parenting. So to some extent I get the lack of "weight" to him staying here, even if I couldn't really get "used" to the fact they allowed him to stay. Though, that's mainly just a me thing...
Other than that. This is great!! Really great as a classic YA romance story! Keep writing!!
Thank you so much for reading! This review will definitely help my writing in the future