Shadows
They follow me everywhere
Why won’t they leave
I am left dealing with demons
I never made them
Why do they haunt me
Why not him
He is the disturbed one, why am I tainted
Tainted by the lies, the pain, the past
I wish to forget, but they keep popping up everywhere
These memories
They haunt my dreams, reminding me of the past
Suffering
They don’t know the definition
To be trapped by your own mind
A prisoner of circumstance
Left to rot in the acid they call childhood
Well childhood is over
So why is there no peace
Slight reprieve is sparse to non-existent
I come close to forgetting then suddenly I am sucked back in
Whether it be a message, a conversation, or even a stranger walking past
I see, that moment in time, that face, that painful memory
It haunts me, stalking the shadows of my mind
Gone, until one day, reality pulls it to the forefront of my mind
How do I cope
I don’t
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,855 Reviews
Hey there! joallover here for a review on this wonderful Review Day for team Mazarine Marauders!
This is a very realistic approach to dreadful situations and their memories. People who have never had any sort of a flashback do not understand the severity of it, how much hurt comes along with the memories.
Just to make this stronger, there are a few things I can advise to aid this work.
"I wish to forget, but they keep popping up everywhere "
I find this is a bit too formal of a piece to use words such as 'popping up.' It is a nice touch, although I believe it would be better suited to a word such as 'appearing' or something to that effect.
Another thing I found was that there was no punctuation. Yes, it is a poem, but I believe when you're trying to portray an emotion, and you ask questions in the work, it is better to add the question marks.
That is all I can say for now! You did a good job with this one, I liked it a lot! Keep calm and write on!
Peace Love and Fahrvergnugen!
-joallover
Wow. This poem was great. I liked the story beneath and that all of the text made sense, instead of putting in random words that fit. I am unsure if you should add the question marks, if you do that you would need some periods too.
I don't really know anything about poems, so I guess I shouldn't say too much.
The poem was interesting and kept me wanting to read along. You have done a great job with adjectives and variety.
Keep on making more like these!
A dark but beautiful poem. I think there should be question marks here though
Anyway, I think adding the necessary punctuation would have emphasised some of the emotion you were portraying, the poem being written and not oral that is.
Why do they haunt me
Why not him
How do I cope
So why is there no peace
why am I tainted
Why won’t they leave
Excluding the question marks, there are also no punctuation marks at the end of each line. But this piece is a free verse and coupled with your vast artistic expression, i am led to wonder if it was your intended style, venturing into the vast freedom available in a free verse piece.
In the end, i loved your piece. You cant imagine how synonymous it is to a lecture by a medical professor that i heard yesterday. Great work, not to mention really dark.