Published June 16, 2011
I have emotions
escaping me,
like a leaky faucet.
Drip;
sorrow.
Drip;
bitterness.
Drip;
regret.
Cold tears fall
from the faucet
until hot water
is turned on, full blast.
The heat of anger
surges out of me,
but only to silently slip
down the drain.
Drip;
confusion.
Drip;
heartache.
Drip;
dejection.
Again the tears fall
drop by drop.
Someone please help
me mend the cracks
deep in the plumbing
of my heart.
I am filled with rust
and ready to burst.
Drip;
strength.
Drip, drip;
Fix me,
I’ll be okay.
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140,868 Literary Works • 673,696 Reviews
This is a really good poem, I like it very much!
Its really good. I liked it a lot.
Thankyou all! I will work on it with your ideas.
great use of words,and I loved it. The part of when the guy was talking about the "drip,drip,drip" like the main title. I understand why you would write this poem based on the faucet. I love it and I think you should keep writing!!!
~Pixie~
live,laugh,glow
Ah, Jemjive, hello! I agree with Skorpe, I love the metaphor and imagery in this.
If I must pick at something though I have to say that where the first part caught my attention and made me feel like I was reading something wonderful and unique, that fifth stanza killed it. I liked the expression of emotion before the cry for help ("someone please mend the cracks",) maybe it's just a personal preference, but I find that once you cross teh line from expression into desperation everything looses its effect.
I like the whole metaphor, it's smart, and very clean. You've got your point across very clearly in the first part, so try to keep that going all the way through.
Another great poem from you, keep it up!
I find it really sad that this has eleven views and no reviews. This is a really good poem, with some amazing metaphors and brilliant imagry. One thing I found quite weak, however, was the first stanza.
A first stanza needs to, ideally, pull the reader in. Yours seems a little blunt and boring. Perhaps you could change it to make it a little more interesting.
I particularly liked the "drip" stanzas, these gave the poem form and kept it all together and related.
However, in the second stanza you say:
And in the stanza after that, you mention anger escaping in full blast. This doesn't quite make sense.
Your last line is absolutely brilliant; closing the poem with a real sense of finality. You're a spectacular poet, but remember to read over your poems. (If you have already, then I apologise.
Keep writing!