Published January 14, 2007
Intro
Why can't we see the light?
Why can we not reach out?
The time for change is near.
verse 1
We're so wrapped up in our existance
We forget what is important
What matters the most in our life
We cast away to the side!
Chourus 1
Our sight is failing,
we can not see.
Were losing vision
Verse 2
We walk away
From those we love
We don't look back
What has become of us?!
Chourus 2
Our path is lost
we stray away
from what we need
(from what we need to carry on!)
Verse 3
We don't accept reality
We hide in shadowed thoughts
Denying the truth
we try to hide!
Chourus 1
Chourus 2
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,381 Literary Works • 674,386 Reviews
Heheh... it sounds like a Christian rock song. Was that your intention?
Also, I moved it to Lyrics. ^_^;;
I agree that the lyrics are vague. One of these might work as part of something else, but all smushed together, it's like "Okay, what are you trying to say here?"
How are we losing vision, straying away, denying the truth, etc.? Give us a specific example and use it to illustrate one of these ideas. For example, to describe how we're losing our vision, talk about a blind person, why they're blind, how they feel about being blind, etc. and then compare him/her to "us".
Keep writing!
Lyrics Section.
On the song:
A little cliche and a little vague. There doesnt seem to be a solid entity on what the lyrics are about???
Yes. This belongs in the lyrics section
*
*Shouts out to Mods
Cheerios, Chandni
First of, shouldn't this be in the lyrics section? But anyway, it's a good song. The theme is kind of cliche, so I would suggest bringing a fresh new approach to it. That's what makes lyrics unique ... making the topic your own and providing a new way of describing or looking at things. Also, the chorus was a little on the short side and didn't provide the substance I was looking for.