This Madness

Hey there! Purple representing the Black Knights on this wonderful review day! Let's get down to business.
I love some of your use of vocabulary in this piece such as "Becoming nothing but synthetic", however, I definitely think you should change the rhyme scheme. I admire your pluck for attempting to make every 2 lines rhyme, but the goal in poetry isn't to make everything rhyme. In a poem, if anything seems forced or doesn't really go together, like "stir" and "before" in the very first 2 lines of the beginning stanza, then it heavily sticks out and almost ruins the whole thing (because if any reader is like me, I can't help but notice those things and then it's all I think about for the remainder of the poem!). In general, my main point of advice is to just let loose. Don't try to make everything rhyme because the whole point of poetry is to figuratively touch a person and, in this case, break their heart or make them relate to something. You definitely did the latter, but I think since the rhyming was a bit off anyway that you don't even need it to make something amazing.
Happy review day and keep writing!!!
~Purple

Hey isuki,

I thought that this was very interesting. I really liked how it rhymed, but you didn't make it sound like Dr. Suess, that is hard to do sometimes, so good job! I think that it flowed pretty nicely, but I would would say that maybe you should add commas after some lines, and a period at the end of each stanza. For example:

"Things are beginning to stir
Like never before,
Causing so much pain and sorrow,
You always steal and never borrow."

That might just make it flow a little better! But other than those few things, I thought that it was really good, and I hope you write more like this!

happy writing,

-kitty4111

Hello! This will be an extremely short review because I have no nitpicks about your poem. It's perfect how it is and I don't know how to make it any better.

So go ahead and start your shit
I will withstand it every bit
You are just pathetic
Becoming nothing but synthetic
I like the last two lines in this stanza. It really gives away the frustration that the character is feeling. The person they're dealing with is going nowhere, doing nothing. Well done on this line.

You see me as weak now
Just wait and you will bow
Things will never be the same
For you are all to blame
I'm confused about why the person would bow. Do you mean bow that is pronounced as boe? As in a bow in the wood? Clarify please.

Otherwise it's a great poem!

This is really good! The rhymes made sense and they didn't seem forced or stretched. My favorite line was, "But I am more than you will ever be."

Correction time...
Like RandomCollumns said, "im free" in the last line of the last stanza should be "I'm free"
The second line of the first stanza interrupted the meter and rhythm of the poem a bit by being so much shorter than the other lines of the poem.

But otherwise, it was really great; you've earned yourself a like!

Wow, this is really good.
"im free" This punctuation is slightly wrong; if the whole poem was like this then I wouldn't have batted an eyelid, but as the whole poem's different, and in correct grammar, then I would change it to "I'm free" because then it would look right... unless you want it to stand out, and make a bold statement, then in that case, leave it.
Also, try adding a little more punctuation into it; "It will run through, and fester..." this slows the reader down.
I hope this helps, Random Columns