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Hater

by irsyad23


"Hi everyone, thanks for clicking. This story contains strong language and some violence. Discretion is advised. Hope you enjoy reading!

Hater

I hate you.

*silence*

Oh my God, I really hate you. Look at yourself, that ugly face of yours. How do you sleep at night knowing you look like that? How do you look in the mirror and not feel sad just by looking at yourself? You’re ugly, period.

So you hate me because of my face?

Your face, your body, your physique, and even your personality sucks. Everything, everything about you sucks. I mean, why are you even living? Can’t you just die already?! You’re disgusting and really you’re not going to get any better. Face it! You’re ugly.

I didn’t create my face. I didn’t choose to look like this. What made you hate me so much?

*silence* Well then go to the gym, idiot! We all know you’re ugly but you can do so much better if you improve your looks. I mean look at you, you’re just disgusting! The sight of you is enough to make anyone, anybody hate you!

Oh, so if I go to the gym and dress better, you wouldn’t hate me then?

I’d still hate you. I mean I just said that earlier to make you feel like you have hope, but truthfully like I said before, even your personality is boring and annoying. You’re entirely useless and a burden to everyone! And you’re selfish,  and then you act like you did nothing wrong? *Laugh* that’s why nobody wants to be friend with you!

I am not selfish! I don’t even do much to other people! I don’t talk much, just leave me alone then.

You see, that’s your problem! You always distance yourself from everyone! Why can’t you just be normal? People hate you enough for your looks but if you’re kinder, maybe people will give you a chance, idiot. But I guess it’s too late now. For all these years in college you were always with yourself rotting away.

Some people are just different! Not everyone can fit in, especially since you said I am ugly and disgusting.

Well, cry then! Cause nobody would even care if you die. Your family certainly wouldn’t care. I mean why would they? To have a son, so useless like you is a freaking burden to them. You’re a poor excuse of a human being.

*starts crying*

Cry! *laughing frantically*

Go back to your mommy, loser! Or why don’t you just end your suffering right this moment? Kill yourself loser!

I've heard that so many times, I don’t feel anything anymore. You can’t break me. *wipes off tears*

Oh, should I show everyone the picture you sent to Bianca? *laughing*

Why did you even think she’s real?! I mean, do you really think any girl would talk to you online? Look at your face! That photo is so embarrassing and you know it, the whole college would hate you for it. Basically you don’t have a future anymore here. Just leave, or kill yourself.

Why would you do that? Why do you want me dead so bad? Just leave me alone!

No. In fact, I’m going to make your life so miserable, you’ll never want to live anymore. Oh, remember when your uncle molested you? Damn, so must have enjoyed it so much, huh. You were just a little kid, but I guess that’s what you get for being the disgusting person that you are.

*covers ears with hands, visibly shaking*

Stop! Stop! Leave me alone!

Remember when you almost overdosed on fat burning pills? Lol, that was so funny! Do you know that everyone in college wished you would never recover, we were so happy when we heard the news. That’s why you didn’t get any visits or cards or anything. People just hate you in general.

*once that first tear broke free, the rest followed in an unbroken stream. He bends forward where he sat on the floor and pressing his palms to the mat, he begins to cry with the force of a person vomiting on all fours*

You think your tears can erase everything away? You think your endless cry can erase the pain? You’re nothing but a weak and a useless human being. You have no friends, no achievements, no life, no supports, and no love. You’re nothing.

I just want to be alone! Please leave me. *his words can barely be understood*

This is reality, this is life. No matter how much you beg, nothing is going to change. You fail and will always, always be a failure. Why don’t you just do ALL of us the favor and just kill yourself right now.

*hands him a razor*

I… I just… *takes the razor*

Yes! Cut yourself! You piece of pathetic loser. End your life!

How do you know so much about me?

*silence. He stands away, and in the distance he sees a mirror. As he gets closer, he looks into the mirror.*

Wait. What is this?!

*as he looks to this back, there’s no one else in the room. He looks at his hand and the razor is there, he is holding it*

Do you hate yourself that much?


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40 Reviews


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Sat Oct 14, 2017 6:16 pm
Flumadiddle wrote a review...



Hello, E.E here for a possibly quick review and maybe some utter nonsense! So, lets get started. :D
So, reading this, I like it. Some of the things I can relate to, which isn't good but hey, the mind is hard to control, isn't it? On a different note, I like how you organized the story, as well as how you explained it. Although, at first I did have some trouble with telling wether or not it was the boys mind telling him those thoughts or not. It was the boys mind telling him those thoughts though, right?
Anyways, the topic you covered in this writing are pretty important and it's nice to see someone write about them, even if the ending of the story is leaving you hanging on what happened. You covered possible suicide, the fact that sometimes family's really just don't care and some don't realize that they are the ones that brought us into that state. You covered the fact that people with depression can hurt themselves physically and mentally. People with it, with depression, don't need a reason to be that way. Little things can cause it to happen, like one simple phrase or some small action. This emotion happening is not something to ignore and it needs to be payed more attention to, it side affects. It's like a thief, really. A good one that leaves hardly a single piece of evidence. They come quietly, taking things slowly and surely until everything is gone and we don't know what to do. They leave us empty and numb.
I did notice grammar mistakes but other reviewers most defiantly have that area covered. So, no need there. No spelling was noticed by me either. Besides that, I liked your story so keep up the good work irsyad23!




irsyad23 says...


Hello E.E! Thanks for reading and reviewing. Yes the conversation is happening inside his head, i wish i could've made this clearer to avoid confusion. Thanks for pointing it out. Glad you enjoyed this.



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Thu Oct 12, 2017 7:59 pm
Leafpool wrote a review...



Hey, irsyad23, it's your favourite Thunderclan medicine cat coming at you with a prophecy from Starclan (just kidding, I've got a review).
Last year, I hated my body so much that I would skip meals. It never got really bad but it could have. I evan had a few thoughts of suicide. It wasn't a good time for me.
Anyway, grammar and punctuation first.
"I heard that so many times," this should probably be "I've heard that", just so it flows nicer.
Instead of this "Damn, so must enjoy it so much, huh." it should be like this "Damn, you must have enjoyed it so much, huh?"
"Remember when you almost overdose on fat burning pills?" overdose should have been overdosed. Small mistake, though, don't worry over it.
And I think this bit here "Lol that was so funny?" was supposed to be either "Lol that was so funny!" or "Lol, wasn't that so funny?".
"You think your tears can erase everything away? You think your endless cry can erase the pain? You’re nothing but a weak and a useless human being. You have no friends, no achievements, no life, no supports, and no love. You’re nothing." I swear if someone said this to me...blood everywhere.
At the end, does the main character realize that the rude voice was just his head?
Anyway, great story. One more question, are you okay? If you need to talk there are people willing to listen, even me. Anywho, good story, keep writing!




irsyad23 says...


Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I really didn't double check anything before I write, hence the mistakes. I'm glad you liked the story.

Yes, I am okay honestly. I actually wrote this with someone else in mind, not myself. Thank you again.



irsyad23 says...


*post



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Thu Oct 12, 2017 7:40 pm
DemonGoddess wrote a review...



Hello, Irsyad23! It’s Kara here for a (hopefully) quick review!

Give me your soul.

With that aside...

First of all: **FLIPS TABLE** OH MY GOD I RELATE TO THIS STORY SO MUCH AHHHH HOLY FLIP I hate myself after the bullies and now I get these kinds of times where I would just... you know... do THAT to myself.

STOP! Grammar time!



Cause nobody even care if you die.


"Cause" should be "'cause" and "would" should be the second word of this sentence.

Damn, so must enjoy it so much, huh.


Reword this into "Damn, you must have enjoyed is so much, huh?"

Lol that was so funny?


Change the question mark to an exclamation mark.

Suggestions:



Wait. What is this?!


I would change this to bold and italics. It just seems to make more sense in my mind.

Second, use other words than "ugly," "idiot," and "loser." I kept reading those words over and over again and it got very redundant. At one point I got bored. I would recommend going to thesaurus.com and finding better words.

Confusing things:



There was nothing confusing.

Other comments, reactions, and fangirling:



I RELATE TO THIS

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(╯ಠoಠ)╯︵ ┻━┻)

**inhales**

sorry.

Overall:



This is very good, other than the redundant words. The twist at the ending was excellent, and it definitely deserves the like I'm putting on it.

Give me your soul --

Kara

Image


This review courtesy of
Image




irsyad23 says...


Thanks for reviewing! I used ugly, idiot and loser repetitively because I thought that's how most haters sound like. Also, i didn't want to say the f-words and all. Glad you liked this!



DemonGoddess says...


Ah ;) just ask me for information about haters. I know what they sound like.



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Thu Oct 12, 2017 7:28 pm
Oniyuri says...



Let me just start this by saying this is wonderfully written! I especially love the use of bold like what ashpandas said.

This was pretty dark but it was amazing. I can actually kinda relate to this but even if I didn't it makes such an impact to read. There are only some issues with grammar but, that's okay. It can easily be fixed. As for word choice, it's fine really. Although you can switch or remove some words like what the reviewer below me said. But, don't worry. It's not ruining anything from this story. I also love the descriptions. It's like I am actually there seeing this happen to that poor guy. Keep up the good work with all those details. Maybe add a bit more too if you want. But, not too over detailed.

Anyways, keep up the good work! I hope to see more of your work and good luck on all your future writings!!




irsyad23 says...


Thank you for your comment. I will definitely work harder on my next writing.



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Thu Oct 12, 2017 6:04 pm
ashpandas wrote a review...



Holy crap... This was dark and sad and good and man... I feel this on a huge personal level. I feel like beginning to end it really ties together. I just have a few notes.


"How do you look in the mirror and not feel sad just by looking at yourself?"
Add a , after mirror or Maybe "How can you look in the mirror and not feel sad?" I don't think you need to add the rest they're looking in the mirror obious it will be at themselves.

"We all know you’re ugly but you can do so much better if you improve your looks." Add a , after ugly

" I mean I just said that earlier to make you feel like you have hope, but truthfully like I said before, even your personality is boring and annoying."
Maybe take out "I mean" I feel like the wording is strange here maybe say "I just said that ealier to give you false hope." And I would personally take out "but truthfully like I said before, even your personality is boring and annoying." I feel like it messes with the flow.

"And you’re selfish and act like you did nothing wrong?"
Take out and also put a , after "selfish" (Why did you put a question mark?)

"that’s why nobody wants to be friend with you, loser!"
Maybe "That's why nobody wants to be your friend." instead

" People hate you enough for your looks but if you’re kinder, maybe people will give you a chance, idiot. But I guess it’s too late now.
Put a period after looks. Take out "but" Maybe change "will" to "would"

" Cause nobody even care if you die."
Maybe "Cause nobody would care if you die"

"Basically you don’t have a future anymore here. Just leave"
Maybe take out "here"

"No. In fact, I’m going to make your life so miserable, you’ll never want to live anymore. Oh, remember when your uncle molested you? Damn, so must enjoy it so much, huh. You were just a little kid, but I guess that’s what you get for being the disgusting person that you are." I just want to say my heart broke a little. I really hope this isn't true. *wipes tears*

"Remember when you almost overdose on fat burning pills?"
Overdosed*

Ok now to wrap this up.. I really hope you're ok fam. This was good and The only thing is some flow issues and maybe a couple grammar problems. Other than that you're golden. Oh and I really like that you bolded the other persons lines. It makes it clear who is saying what. Anyways keep being you and if you need anyone to talk to I'm here Good luck and I hope to see more from you




irsyad23 says...


Thanks so much for the corrections. I really didn't check for the grammatical errors and all before posting this. As for the flow issue, I wish could've written this better. It was all so rushed.

I am okay and this story is not about me at all. I really appreciate your concern!



ashpandas says...


*Breathes a sigh of relief* good




Forever is composed of nows.
— Emily Dickenson