He found a photo in the mailbox, and it wasn’t addressed to him.
The picture was of a small boy holding a dandelion, with hand written words at the bottom that read:
i hope you need this
The photo lay atop his water bill and the morning paper. It curled at the edges and left no indication as to who it may be from. He looked around, as if whoever put it in there was hiding behind a bush, giggling at his reaction. But it was a on a Tuesday, and most of the neighborhood was working or getting an education--not pranking their neighbors with photographs of small children.
He studied the picture again before, with a shrug, taking it inside along with his other mail.
The thing was, he liked routine. Everything had a place. All of the bills went into the small basket on the counter, and he always set the morning paper on the dining table before eventually chunking it. However, there hadn’t yet been an exact place for unexpected and unaddressed portraits of children.
Without giving it much thought, he lifted a yellow smiley magnet off the face of the fridge and stuck the photo underneath. Looking at it this way, he chuckled to himself. On the fridge, it looked like a family photo of sorts. Maybe a distant cousin or relative that he would only hear from once or twice a year.
That wasn’t the case, of course. He hadn’t the slightest clue who the kid was, with sandy blond hair and green eyes, holding the yellow flower towards the camera like an offering, a huge grin plastered on his face.
With a sigh, he grabbed a mug out of the cabinet and filled it with freshly brewed coffee. He didn’t bother adding anything to it. On mornings like these he preferred it black. As he sat at one of the wooden chairs at the table, he glanced at the newspaper he’d brought in. He normally wasn’t one for a daily peruse of the city's news, but he felt that it would distract him from the green eyes on the fridge.
After reading all about the new shopping center, and even looking through obituaries, he began folding up the paper. Before he could, however, the back side caught his eye.
‘Missing Persons,’ it read, and he thought that would be it. A couple of criminals and teenage girls, except for one.
A set of green eyes and a wide grin.
***
When he had put the photo in his mailbox, he hadn’t intended for him to take it so well.
He hadn’t really expected him to take it at all, really. Maybe leave it in there for the mail to pick up the next day, or at the very least throw it away. But he watched as he shrugged and brought it inside and shut the door behind him.
He wondered if he would figure it out. He noted the newspaper that he had brought in with him, but it was probable that it was heading straight for the trash. Perhaps he wouldn’t find out at all, and the photo will lay in his garbage before being forgotten forever.
The thought was intriguing, and he was interested to find out where the photo would lead him.
He knew he would need it.
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I really hope there’s another part to this!
If not, I’ll cry. The mystery you have created and the little cliffhanger you have given us won’t let me sleep tonight. I loved your writing style; it’s simple, yet engaging. It made me curious to find out about the boy in the picture. I have a feeling it’s the first man himself, but then . . .
. . . this made me think otherwise.
You maintained the suspense throughout, and it made me eager to learn more about the person who mailed the photo.
Fantastic work! I enjoyed reading it.
Well done, and keep it up!
Please don't cry.
I can't give a yes or no to another part to this, although you're not the first to ask(: This short was kind of me playing around with an idea, and I'm not entirely sure if I ended up with something decent or not.
I appreciate your nice review(: I'll be sure to let you know if this continues!
There's no pressure on you to continue this story (though it would be nice). Do whatever you feel would be best.
No problem at all! I enjoyed reviewing this.
First I just wanted to say that I really liked your writing style. You had a good variety of sentences so nothing became dull or repetitive. I didn't even really notice any grammar mistakes so that's also good.
Though the ending makes me curious about who put the photo in his mailbox and why exactly he is going to need it. Maybe eventually you could add that or write a part 2....
Over all, it was a nice story and I enjoyed reading it. Keep up the good work!
Thank you for your review(:
Heyo intro, Flite here for a review.I like the premises of the story here, as well as the tone. Your wording is concise and descriptive, painting a clear image of what you want the readers to see. There is a balanced amount of showing and telling and within such a short amount of text there is substantial context for me to relate to the main character. That is quite impressive. I also love how natural and relaxing your voice is here, or the voice of your character either way the story didn't loose me much.
Slight typo there, nix the first 'a'
However, your story is not without flaw. I don't want to be too pedantic, but one of the major issues I had with this was that I couldn't quite make the connection with the latter part of the story and the first part. There was a healthy amount of suspense built up in the first half, there was the connection between the photo and the newspaper. But I lost the perspective during the latter half, but that may just be me. I'm guessing the man in someone in his mid 30s - 40s, he carries the calm demeanour with him. Were it a normal teenager I think they would have freaked. Re-edit, I just realized that the missing person and the photograph never actually had a direct link but I'm just going to assume that they do. At the end of this, he said he was intrigued by it and wanted to find out where the photo would lead him. But why was he intrigued by it, why is he intrigued by a strange photograph in his mailbox (that may or may not be a missing person), why would he needed? Perhaps you intended for this story to be open-ended but I feel that you could expand this much more. Give us an ending that ties up the story, you don't have to of course but the latter half of this story doesn't quite match the quality or content of the first one.
I seriously hope you expand on this, if you ever do. Please notify me, I'd love to read it. If you've got any questions, please feel free to ask me.
-Flite
Thank you for your review! I appreciate how well thought out it is, especially with your concerns/advice about the ending. I was definitely intending for it to be open-ended of sorts, and I'm really happy to hear that you'd like to hear more of it! To be completely honest, I had no idea where I was going with this, at least when I started writing it. I kind of started with the first sentence and built off of that, so I sort of wrote blindly and tried to steer it in some decent direction. I'd like to know the ending of this story as well, quite frankly.
I'll let you know if I ever get there!
That would be awesome, xD. Please keep writing!
Intriguing story! Great job!
The sentence "He didn’t bother adding anything to it, on mornings like these he preferred it black.", is a run on. You should separate it into "He didn't bother..." and "On mornings..." to make is flow more smoothly.
"He looked around, like maybe whoever had put it in there was hiding behind a bush, giggling at his reaction, but it was 1:32 pm on a Tuesday and most of the neighborhood was working or getting an education, not pranking their neighbors with photographs of small children." is also a run on, so you should separate it by some of the sections (like after the commas). Also, "like maybe" feels weird to me. Instead you could say, "He looked around, as if whoever put it in there was hiding behind a bush, giggling at his reaction. But it was a on a Tuesday, and most of the neighborhood was working or betting an education--not pranking their neighbors with photographs of small children."
I like how mysterious this is! Keep up the good work!
Thank you! I'm glad you mentioned those, I have a habit of using too many commas. I'll definitely fix those!