I’m in pain mum, more than you would imagine. It’s like my whole heart is being ripped apart and all I can do I watch. And no one is here .No one is here to tell me it’s going to be alright, so it isn’t. I know it`s going to happen, and it’s what a crave, but im still desperately clinging onto the little bits of hope that remain here. Here in this place of pain and neglect, where you can succeed only to be turned down by others who have infinitely more than you and infinitely less? Controlled by people who know little about you and yet decide everything you do. And that’s when we fight. We fight. And we watch as we take innocent lives. Friends turned to murders. People that would never hurt a fly mum, you should see them now. You’d be so disappointed. Disappointed in me mum, because I’m not who I used to be and I`m not who I want to be. You watched me grow up, you kept me safe, and warm, and fed and if you saw me now you`d wished you hadn`t .Because I`m alone and I`m dying and the only person who cares is the person who`ll have to scrape my body off the ground. Because it`s an inconvenience to them; that’s what we are when we die. I was told I was going to be a hero, going to be remembered, be the superhero I always wanted to be. But I`ll join you mum, alone and frightened, and you will cry. Because your son is a monster.