Too much Snow

Wow. That's a very interesting poem.
I am a bit confused by which style this is, even though its a great little one. It sounds a bit of a song genre, but I'm not sure that it is.
I'm.. if its okay, just going to put my real quick opinion in here, real fast.

I enjoy this one a lot but the wording is quite simple. It doesn't seem to have a lot of deep, deep feeling behind it. Perhaps its just because I'm used to reading quite a lot of the same things but in my personal opinion, it doesn't seem to have that.. little niche that really grabs a reader. I think maybe reading some excellent poetry would definitely help. (Reading is brain candy for a writer.)

But I truly believe you went through this, and it is a wonderful poem. My favorite line is:
"My lover likes all sticks and stones,
but he doesn’t realize he’s skin and bones." It sounds completely original and it certainly grabs a reader. : ) That line is what kept me reading.

This sounds like a terribly mean review, apologies. Hopefully this helps though, I look forward to reading and reviewing more of your things!

Little Storm Writer

Is this an epic?
A narrative or a supposedly poem?
well from the foregoing, I recommend you meet a poem editor.
It's a nice piece nonetheless yet I feel obliged to make a mini-critique of s review. It's a great piece. Nearing s masterpiece just that nothing is concealed almost so. I therefore humbly appeal by way of suggestion that you bring the elements of literature and it's fevices to bear!
I sincerely apologize for my tone. This is just Ogden much mind anyway.
Thanks.

Hello imyourdensity! PumpkinCat here with a review of " Too Much Snow". I'd like to first say I don't usually review long poems so your the first in a while. I like your subject your writing about it expresses lots of emotions and really brings out your inner thoughts, but what threw me off track most of the time during your work of art was the flow. Its just that the stanza's lines aren't really connected that well I don't mean in wording I mean in spacing. Like for example: You put "It’s not nice to love someone,
who loves to hurt
himself and everyone he loves,
including you.

It doesn't connect in spacing because the word himself is not next to hurt.
And lastly I like your form of repetition I try that in a lot of my works but it never seems to work but now I have an example to look at thanks for that. Well great work imyourdensity I hope to see more of your work! Don't stop your work! 7/10 Great Work! ~PC

Hey Density,

I enjoyed this poem. It's a tired concept, to be sure -- the whole deal of love gone corrupt/ unfaithfulness, or unhappy partners, but on the other hand, I felt you did it justice. I'm going to have to politely disagree with a previous reviewer, what made it interesting for me was the structure. Yes, you could've structured it evenly, but I felt the uneven structuring fits the premise/content well, it sort of leaves the reader off-balanced, which is exactly the world that is being depicted. Plus, it kept me guessing and engaged, besides. I like how there are rhyme scheme and repetitions in some parts and in others, there weren't, and the variation makes it interesting and keeps it from becoming too tired or trite.

Of course, there is a lot of emotion and truth in this. Thanks for sharing and for making it your own, I definitely enjoyed reading it from start to finish. I would only suggest that you shorten it a bit -- I felt the poem went a little too long and near the end, it felt dragged out. I think because of this, the ending was sort of anti-climatic and didn't strike me as well as other parts. The bolded lie, besides being bolded, just doesn't have that tonal closure that you're looking for. A suggestion (and only a suggestion!) is to try a slant-rhyme for "stones" or "twice" , so for example, you can end it with a word like vice or even any of these words. It's not the most original way to end a piece, but it will definitely provide the tonal closure you're looking for!

I hope this helps.

~ as always, Audy

I really enjoyed this poem (first poem I've read so far)
I loved the first half, it really made intrigued to keep going. So maybe next time leave it with a little bit of mystery, keep the reader guessing, then make a part 2. But anyways loved this poem!

Well this is no doubt a great poem. The only thing I don't like about it is the way you structured it. Some stanzas have 4 lines some have 2 some have 5. Now this would be ok if you structured it a different way . Other than that though , I think this is a good poem . It expresses the fact that a lot of people get used through their relationships . I am pretty sure someone on this website has probably been through something like this. So great job on the emotion The only thing I didn't like was the wording either . i'm not trying to criticize your poem . I like the idea a lot . It could use some work though in my honest and true opinion . Message me if you have any questions.



Thx:)