Scenes from Downtown, 2015.

Hi, Ruby here for a review!

This is a really well thought out piece. I am amazed you managed to fit such a big message into just 6 short lines- it's much better than I could do with that amount!

To start, the title is really unique, and I like it. It's as though this is just a simple observation, maybe even just a quick note or something as you observe a 'scene from downtown'. Specifying when it was written adds to that personal feel as well. I like it. Also, this could be in any downtown, which makes to relatable to ANYWHERE, making it more personal to the reader as well.

I'm intrigued by the 'ghost of importance' in the first line. It's almost up to the reader to try and figure out what exactly that is, and even then it leaves a lot to be thought about. Maybe one of a person's many 'ghosts' that they seem to carry around with them. The next three lines all exude a sort of desperately sad and doomed feeling with the adjectives like 'dragging', 'cracked', and 'clings'. They're all such heavy words that carry a lot of emotion in them, especially with the thought of a ghost.

The last two lines really bring the piece full circle. This is obviously a dying world, with many problems and people with lives that bring them enough sadness to drag their feet. Obviously, there isn't much that is important anymore- therefore turning the thought of importance into a mere ghost. Seriously, so well thought out here.

I loved this, and I hope you write more thought-provoking pieces like it. 5 stars from me!!

'Ello, it's cello!

I'm here to leave a short review for a short poem! I tend to enjoy most of the works on this site (As you might notice if you've seen my reviews on other works) But I found this one especially good. With just 22 words you told a story. I don't live near or often visit what's considered 'down town' where I live but from the few times I've been there I have to admit that this description is pretty well dead on. The only problem I have it the lack of punctuation. Honestly, with a short poem like this, you do fine without it, but I always thing things are better with commas. Wether you throw in one or two, or stick on to the end of each line, you really can't go wrong. In my mind, commas are like the color blending of drawing. They make the flow smoother and balance things out beautifully. Other than this (Which is more opinion than fact) the poem was beautiful. Oh! Wait! One more suggestion!

which drowns in

gasoline

Hi there. I came across this poem in the Green Room, and found only one review, which surprises me because I find delight in reading this poem.

I liked it, because it was ambiguous. I liked its ambiguity because I am not sure why the air drowns in gasoline. The lack of an answer is intensely satisfying as it forces me to think. This work has other merits to it. For one thing, I like the shortness of the poem. If this poem was longer, it would end up as a pretentious dirge. It would be a plodding tome with an "I see a world destroyed by ourselves" atmosphere about it. Luckily, it doesn't, so thank you for summing it all up in a few lines. The lack of punctuation actually works here.

Now, my problem with this poem for me is that it is so short. Another line would not have hurt, so as to briefly elaborate on the points raised. I am also unsure about the title, and if it is a scene from downtown. Is this a scene from a movie called "Downtown"? Could be meta, but could also be a description of an urban landscape.

Overall, a very good poem. I really liked it, even if it was over too soon.

Hello there! Biluata here for a review! I liked this poem, short and to the point, but with a nice ring to it, very well written indeed. The only complaints I have are the one with capitalization. Capitalize and punctuate! Other than that, great job!
Write on
~Luata