Finding My Perfect Fairy tale

When I got home I went upstairs and cried myself to sleep. This wasn’t fair. Why me? What did I ever do? I had tried so hard to be a good person. Is this how good people are rewarded? I fell asleep within a few minutes and woke up to a knock on my door.

“Come in,” I muttered. I didn’t wanna talk to my mom or anyone right now. To my surprise Nick walked in.

“What are you doing here? I told you to forget about us?” I said, surprised that he would even show up. I had expected him to be onto another girl by now, a girl that wasn’t broken, a girl that had no baggage.

“Why would I forget about us?" He took to the bed's edge. Nick placed his hand on my shoulder, "I still love you, and I hope you still love me after what I did last night. I know you didn’t ask for this, and I’m sorry I implied that. I had just assumed you had gotten some other guy, someone better than me and were just trying to find an excuse to fix the problem, I’m sorry Mandi, I really am," there was the slightest presence of tears in his eyes, and I knew he meant what he was saying.

“How can you still love me, I’m ruined,” I looked down to the bed: no one could love me now. I became damaged goods. No one wanted damaged goods. Oh god, the tears started to well up again. Pressing my lips together, I tried to keep my composure. Nick murmured something between the lines; hey, look at me. 

I complied.

"You are still the same girl I fell in love with," he had this slight smile. The words came out so soft. It was like he was scared I would run off at any time, but to where? Where could I run to? I had tried to run away before and this is how I ended up, even more broken than before.

Running his fingers through his hair, he brushed away the premature tears at the edge of my eyes with his thumb. "I am sorry for how I reacted last night," he gingerly treaded lightly, "I didn’t think about how hard this must have been on you."

“I can’t let you do this, you deserve someone who isn’t broken, I just keep breaking more and more,” I said, gazing my eyes away from him. I couldn’t let him do this. I always knew he could do better than me, that he deserved better, this was just more proof.

“Mandi, you aren’t broken, you never were. Just because something bad has happened to you does not mean that you are broken, it means you are strong, and that is why I love you. You don’t let anything get you down, not your dad, not school, and I won’t let this get you down. Whatever you want to do I will be there with you, no matter what. I’m not going anywhere, I love you,” he leaned in and kissed me on the lips, almost to signify that what he meant was real.

------------------------------------------2 and a half years later---------------------------------------------

“Mommy! Mommy wake up!” Jayce yelled waking me up from my sleep. I opened my eyes to see my beautiful, little boy jumping up and down trying to wake me up. Each time he jumped his shaggy brown hair shook. For a two year old he let me sleep in later than most moms got to.

“Come up on the bed with me, Jayce,” I said, reaching down to pick him up.

“I want breakfast!” he screamed, continuing to jump up and down.

“Mandi?” Nick said, poking his head into Jayce’s room.

“DAD!” Jayce yelled running and jumping into Nick’s arms.  I decided four days after I found out I was pregnant that I was keeping the baby, I refused to give up on him like my dad gave up on me. Nick stuck to his promise and never left, he wanted Jayce to grow up thinking that he was his real dad and he promised to be the best father figure he could be for our son.

“I’m sorry, did his screaming wake you up?”  To this day I still feel guilty whenever Jayce or I cause Nick to wake up early or cancel plans or stay home on a Friday night because I know if he had never met me this wouldn’t be his fate. I would be dealing with Jayce on my own.

“No, I woke up early this morning. Have you talked to your mom yet about his birthday party?”

“I told you I don’t want to invite her. I don’t want anything to do with her,” I said. Whenever I told my mom I had been raped she didn’t believe me. She kicked me out of the house, she thought I was lying about the whole thing. She believed Jayce was Nick’s child and not that horrible man’s. She had told me that if I had really been raped I wouldn’t have kept Jayce, I would have had an abortion. She didn’t get how I didn’t want to give up on my child like my father, and now my mom, had. She never understood. Thankfully, Nick’s mom took me in and was more than supportive about the whole situation. She helped the best that she could financially, but it wasn’t the money that I am thankful for, it is the emotional support.

“I’m hungry!” Jayce yelled. Since he was an only child and no mother really stuck around a teen mom like me, long enough to know that I had been raped, he didn’t really get as much social interactment with kids as he should. The only times he interacted with kids was when Heather’s kids came over to visit, although they were a little younger than he was. My sisters, unlike my mom, had been supportive. At first, they thought it was a hoax too but once Jayce was born they came over to apologize and announce Heather’s pregnancy.