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12+ Violence

a certain kind of unawareness known as blindness

by herbalhour



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35 Reviews

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Stickied -- Tue May 14, 2024 7:20 pm
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herbalhour says...



i see not the wrong & righr
only my mistakes




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326 Reviews

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Sun Jun 09, 2024 6:05 pm
EllieMae wrote a review...



Image

Hey Herb, this is a lovely visual poem! I can tell you put a lot of careful work and effort into creating such a well-done white out poem like this. I thought I would leave a review with some thoughts of the overall piece and contents :D Let's jump right in!

You start with the word N O. It isn't just together, but the letters are spread apart and capitalized. This gives me a bold feeling, almost a demand and perhaps regret over something. I really admire how you used a lot of individual letters to form words, over larger spaces, instead of just saving words. This really made it your own poem.

I liked how you touched on 'the only of our kind'. Your poem gives me a sense of being lost or discriminated. I will admit, the last third of the page was pretty hard for me to read, because of how spaced out. sometimes I thought I knew what words you were saying, but then there would be letters that I couldn't fit anywhere, haha! But I did like the simplicity of the phrases.

The ending 'regardless of one's feelings' meshes pretty well with the overall content of the rest of this white out poem. While reading, I felt like you were making a point of inclusion, despite differences. Overall, lovely poem Herb! Seriously, the visual aspect of this makes it so so fun to look at!! Keep making these!! :D

Your friend,
Ellie

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Fri Jun 07, 2024 10:27 pm
Coffeewriter wrote a review...



Hiii there! Coffee here to drop a challenging review on an interesting, talented piece!
Hey Herb!! How are you?^^
Now, back to the topic!
JeeEZz, this was hard to read and interpret and I am still at a loss for words! I’m not a huge fan of this style as this is a bit TOO difficult to read in my opinion(or I may just have bad eyesight). Personally, I wouldn’t read this type of stuff because it gives me a hard time and I struggle to understand what it’s actually meaning to say to me, what is the piece trying to say? I would just get hung up on that. But, I like this style too since it’s quite unique and honestly I’ve never seen it before since I came to YWS and joined the Free Verse Club!
So, I’m torn, lol.
I can’t really ‘review’ this work because I don’t understand enough to pin point sections but I’ll try my best!!
I love the line:

“on whether or not to call”

because although I don’t necessarily understand exactly what it says I can give it my best interpretation and the hidden beauty of writing, in my opinion, is that anyone can understand the piece in any way and another’s view can be totally different and unimaginable almost. I think the whole piece is a little decisive and describes the stresses of life and etc. It sounds really in depth and analytical of deep problems. It might talk about daily problems or how quickly people can change.
Overall, I love how this poem is and I hope you appreciated my review! I tried my best, ahaha. Have a good day/night! Thank you for reading!<3





Some people file their [tax] returns inside of a dead fish.
— John Oliver