Warning: This work has been rated 18+.
The Yakuza Way
TW: 18+ | Slight Descriptions of Violence | Mature Language
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An ode to the Queen of nightmares:
For all who dream of worlds beyond a word of caution, I issue:
there is one who is already watching you
waiting for you to reach out
If you get her attention
There is nothing she will not show you
For a small price
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PT 391, Present, Dimension ???
Scratches, bruises, gashes. I pushed a man to the ground with my dress shoe. Using his face as a stepping stone to keep it from getting in the mud. He lays in front of me as I count up the money I roughed him up for. He’s crying for more time through his broken teeth. I take the money he owes, along with a little tip for wasting my time. The rest of his money I spread all across the mud, and I drop his wallet while walking away. The red streets of Kabukicho light up as I exit the alleyway. To my right is the main street, the street is stuffy with massive crowds, swindlers and pawners offering bullshit deals every second, lifestones that will bring you good luck, or men with dice ready to challenge unsuspecting citizens to a rigged game, the tourists always fall for these. To my left is a black car situated on the side of the road with entirely tinted windows. Asking to be inspected if they weren’t paying off the cops. I slipped over to the cracked car window and slid the bag of money to the loan shark on the other side. He rolled his window all the way down, and looked me up and down through his sunglasses.
“Nice job, kid. Here’s a tip.” He said as he slid me some money. “Next time I’ll hafta call Mr. Kubota to make a special order for ya.”
“Thank you, sir.” I bowed to him as he drove away.
I stalked through the streets of Kabukicho. Many of the Japanese here always seem to stare at me with a confused look. I am one of the only Americans who walk around here. Most Japanese seem to see it as an invasion of their promised land. When I walk around the streets with my head held high, ready to take any shit anyone throws my way, they probably hate that even more. The yakuza love me, though. My height is my greatest asset in a fight. Even if someone throws the first punch, they have to reach me first. I had a great sensei train me in martial arts in a secret temple in the underbelly of the criminal underground. I think it’s been almost five years since he left and I was scouted by some yakuza. It’s a dangerous, but sweet gig. Doing anything else, I don’t know if I’d have enough money to cover basic essentials and health expenses. Speaking of…
I come up to a large hospital in the middle of the district. The nurse quickly admits me, recognizing me immediately. When I am let into a room, there’s a girl laying in a hospital bed in the center of the room. It’s my sister, Emi.
“Hey bro, how was work? Did you make any sales today?”
“Yeah, you could say that.”
Of course I wasn’t going to tell my sister that I was a yakuza. She’d be worried sick and her health would probably get even worse. She has some sort of unknown cancer. While Japan does pay for some health bills. Citizens still have to pay out. Especially for research regarding her disease in question. A doctor came in to check on Emi.
“How are you feeling, Emi?”
“I feel tired. I’ve been waiting for my brother all day!”
“Anything else, don’t be afraid to tell me with your brother here.”
“No, I’m just tired.”
“Do you want something to eat before bed?”
“No.”
Emi’s been like this for probably about a year or so now. In the 1990s, information about the disease and how to cure it are limited at best. So where does my money go? If I have anything left over, I try and donate it to places that are doing research.
“Come on, Emi! Try and eat something before bed. Your tummy will thank you in the morning.” I say half-excitedly.
Emi drank some apple juice and ate a little bit until she got tired and fell asleep. As the doctor walked away, I slid him an envelope with this month’s payment. He gave me a bow and a “thank you good sir” and strutted out of the room. For me, it was back to work. I was flat broke, again.
I am a lowly yakuza just trying to scrape money off the bottom of the barrel. Suffice to say, this setup is not working for me. I won’t be able to do enough for Emi, nevermind live on my own. I walked out of the hospital and towards my favorite bar, The Tempest. It’s a pretty small bar, only popular with the “in-crowd” in Kabukicho. By day it is lively, by night it calms down because many go to bigger, grander clubs or cabarets to burn the midnight oil. I stepped into the bar, there was only one person at the bar, wearing a black suit and blue tie. He has shoulder-length hair, and a slim build, he’s a mix of american and asian. That’s Daisuke Junichiro. We’ve risen in rank side by side in the Kubota family. He’s like a brother to me. We are like two friendly rivals, if one of us grows, the other is not far behind. The tattoos on our back tell a story of a rivalry in ancient Japanese times. Daisuke has a tattoo of Miuranosuke on his back, while I have a tattoo of Kazusanosuke on mine. It represents the great battle, where Miuranosuke and Kazusanosuke worked together to defeat the nine-tailed fox, Tamamo no Mae.
I looked in the mirror at the bar, finally seeing myself after a long day. I have long curly hair and a black jacket and undershirt. With a red tie. Along with steel-toe dress shoes. My build is more “husky” compared to Daisuke’s slimmer features. I sat down next to him, he already had a drink sitting for me.
“Hey buddy. How’s your day been?” I asked as I sat down.
“You wouldn’t believe it, pretty damn boring. I’ve had to follow around Kubota all day.”
“You aren’t supposed to use the big man’s name in vein.” I replied.
Kubota is the leader of our family. He’s a lieutenant of the Hironaka clan. The clan that governs over all the other families. I would say Kubota is the lieutenant who has his head on the straightest. He does what he’s asked. I guess he’s always come off to me as a pragmatic guy. He does what he’s told, and gets it done with terrifying accuracy.
“It’s been meeting, after meeting, after meeting.” Daisuke complained. “I just want to do some hits and go along with my day.”
“Is Hironaka planning something big?”
“Yeah. It’s some heist. There’s big bucks for anyone who decides to get wrapped up.”
“Shit, where do I sign up?”
If it meant I’d be financially secure for Emi, I’d do it!
“You really want to do some crazy shit like that? The job’s a big one, most of Kubota’s guys don’t even volunteer for his heists! You could be signing your death warrant!”
“You know my sister ain’t getting any better. I have to do something to make sure we can make it through the next few months. If it’s enough, it could mean security for the next few years! I’m goin, whether you want to or not, bro.”
“We’re sworn brothers. You know Kubota will probably put me on if you take the job.”
“I’ll protect you. No matter what. If we both go in, we are coming out alive. Maybe I’ll share some of the dough.”
I stood up out of my chair, knowing my day wasn’t over yet, I had to talk to Kubota.
“Don’t go off the deep end, bro.” Daisuke told me as I slinked out the door.
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I stepped into Kubota-san’s office, he turned around in his chair, blowing smoke from his cigarette into the air. His entire office smelt of smoke. He looks like an older japanese man with a small, slim build. With short gray hair and stubble. With a slick dark red suit and jacket, with a matching tie. The suit made him look bigger than he really was. Otherwise, he looked like a fairly unassuming, normal japanese man. I think that was what made him threatening.
“Good afternoon, Kubota-san.”
“Oh, my favorite juice-man, Enzo-chan. That was a nice job you did tonight. What can I do for ya?” He said as he put out his cigarette and took out another.
I came over and dropped to one knee and searched for my lighter. Once Kubota realized I didn’t have one, he took one from his pocket and handed it to me. I fired it up and lit his cigarette for him.
“Keep that one, always have a lighter on you, junior.”
“I came here to ask about a heist in talks with the Hironaka clan.”
“Ah, Daisuke-chan told you, I assume.”
“Yeah. Is there anything I can do to get involved?”
“Let’s not beat around the bush. You want a piece of the pie? Huh?”
I let out a sigh. “Yeah.”
“I understand, kid. It’s for your sister, right? I’m a nice guy, so I’ll grant your wish. Been a long time since anyone volunteered to be on one of my heists. But you’re just a lackey. You’ll be outta place. Looks like I’ll have to get some others involved.”
“Like who, Kubota-san?”
“You’ll see. Better shake that asking questions habit, and train up a little bit. I know you’re more than capable, but you’d better be on your A-game.”
“Of course.” I bowed. “Thank you, sir.”
I went to bed thinking positively about the heist that was going to go down soon. I didn’t care about what was going to happen. I knew I’d pull through, I had to. If Daisuke went with me, I’d protect him too. I might be a lackey, but I’ve been trained since I was a child. Nobody would step in my way, as long as I stay in the game.
End of chapter
Continue to next chapter Neverending Tempest - Part 2Points:
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Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the macabre S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - Enzo is a yakuza so that he can get enough money to treat his sick little sister, Emi. He doesn’t have much money, though and Emi isn’t getting any better, so he’ll have to do more to help her out. Something far more risk-taking…
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I have no recommendations to make as of right now, but if you would like to edit this, then you may.
Chocolate Bar - I love the fight scene in the beginning of the story when you describe Enzo stepping on the guy’s face, it shows that he fights dirty! I also like the scene when he’s talking to Emi at the hospital, for he may be doing criminal work, but he’s doing it for his sister and he very clearly cares about her. Another thing I like is when Enzo talks to Daisuke, it shows how they see each other as brothers just from their dialogue and from how Enzo was talking about him in the narration.
Closing Graham Cracker - Overall, a suspenseful first chapter to the story! I see that there are other chapters in the Green Room, so I will read them day by day. I hope that Enzo is able to complete the mission and get enough for a living and to help Emi. This could be very very hard, but I believe in him!
I wish you a spectacular day/night!
Hello, My Friend!
Finally catching up in the queue, it’s me, Raven, here to review the opening of this great story! And as always, I'll be using my Familiar method! Let’s dive right in, shall we?
~ A full analysis and breakdown
Alright, I am loving the vibe here so far!! It definitely feels different from others in the DRU universe, and I do like the new direction you've taken, with the focus being on a different country and a notorious crime syndicate! Let's get into the details though.
Plot and Pacing: Awesome! You've introduced a lot of great key elements here—a dangerous job, strained funds, the sick sister that Enzo seems solely responsible for (in a foreign country no less!), and now we have a bigger job brewing with the mention of this "heist" here...Like, I know you mentioned that you had concerns about your MC being interesting here, but I'm already hooked!
Descriptions and Setting: Great!! You did a GREAT job building up this seedy area in a Japanese city, and the atmosphere when Enzo is meeting each of these crime bosses feels so like...It's giving "classy people with not-so-classy operations," like the classic mobster or mafia vibe. Love it!
Characterization: Man, I really feel for Enzo here. It's bad enough being in that position where you're forced into underground work to make ends meet, especially with the life of a loved one on the line, but just knowing the sort of curveballs the DRU universe has thrown characters thus far...I have the feeling that this will get worse before it gets better, perhaps. And that makes me fear for this poor boy (00 ')
Grammar and Wording: Overarchingly? Looks great! No complaints!
~ Some nitpicks and little recommendations
I actually didn't catch anything to put here this time! Great writing job ~
~ My reactions, theories, and favorite parts
Too early for any theories from me, but ooo, highlights and reactions! Let's start with...
That whole ode you did in the beginning was SO cool!! I love the reference to the Queen of Nightmares, and that final line warning you about what she's willing to show you...SO ominous!!
WOAH, I love how you opened this with such a visceral, dominating moment! It really showed what Enzo is capable of right off the bat, despite seeming like such a sweet brother just a few paragraphs later. I love that sort of character because you never really know what to predict from them!!
Aw, poor Emi
Ooo, I love the subtle increase in tension here. He's already IN the Yakuza, if even that isn't enough...what else will he resort to? (00 )
Love the tattoos, and the injection of Japanese folklore with the nine-tailed fox!! This also feels authentic to Japanese culture, since tattoos are often associated with criminals unlike in the west. Very cool!
OH, so the these guys even know about Emi...I mean, classy or not, these are criminals. I'm a little nervous just seeing that they're aware of her here, and what might happen if Enzo were to displease them...Likewise, what does this heist involve? Ooo...
MadThoughts...Overall, that was an awesome opening! It's definitely different from a lot of DRU stories thus far, but seriously, I love that you were bold enough to try a whole different angle here. Male MC, different country, no familiar faces to go "oh yeah, X talked about them before!" I don't know what to expect, and there's something inherently exciting about that! Nicely done!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."