No such thing(1): Happy endings

Heya goldypopo, I saw this in the green room and I promised you to receive it. *pings godly with a notif about this review* I will promise and try to keep an open mind here,as you suggested me to.

Anyways,let's get started,shall we?

~About your title, I think that since you chose it, you actually have to stay very consistent with it, and make it pretty apparent in every story of this series that you write. I don't necessarily agree with what this means and represents, but I respect your time into thinking of this up.

~This is a very quick story,at least it feels like it and it's very fast-paced because of that. I think that you need to slow down a bit and add more:
emotions, actions,thoughts,instinct,description,imagery,etc.
What I mean is that first he's in the cell for all these years,for such a long time and then he finds a door and opens the door,only to find a warning/threatening message. It's just all too much for my brain to wrap around,so I actually had to read this a couple of time to understand what was happening.

Dark,silky walls

~Word choice with your adjectives here. For me, dark and silky portray opposite/different things. Dark is like evil and black and bad, but silky is soft,calm,and warm. So this is really contradicting themselves here.

~I am not a fan of having two adjectives describe one noun, in this case it's a very simple object: a wall-which all of us have seen and know what it looks like. I would recommend that you keep the "dark" and remove the "silky" part of that sentence.

in a prison

~I always encourage writers to have more specific nouns, because it paints a clearer picture. So here,instead of prison, I think that you should just write "cell" because I think of a prison as a whole big building where criminals are kept. A cell is a box of walls with bars,or in this case,no bars.

for a time uncountable -

~You can always count time, and it would make a clearer image for the reader. A lot of people lost track of time,but that isn't helpful, because a sense of time for the reader is pretty important in this case. It gives us a time frame.

~One suggestion is that,like a lot of other inmates, the prisoner someone does tally-marks or even scratches on the wall for every day that they are there. Something to count and keep a record by.

~I found it very unusual that the character suddenly just found a door in the cell. I think that it's logic that there obviously had to be an entrance/exit somewhere. The way that you found it though,was very quick and made them seem dumb that they have never saw this before.

~How does the MC feel when they get out of the cell, and actually breathe and take their first step out of it? What emotions/thoughts are running through his head? I want to feel this breakthrough along with them.

~All of the ellipsis used in here, are unneeded because they aren't doing any of the functions of an ellipsis. I'm not really all that good at explaining things like this, so I will link you to an awesome website, which has helped me in my own use of them.

After scanning the shape once more, I started to push on the wall.

~What was the reaction of the MC when the wall actually started to open? Plus, as a more practical question, how did they have the strength to do this, if they only lived on and drank water. This doesn't make sense, there is a puzzle piece missing from the big picture. I know that you probably want to make it apparently seem that they are thirsty and malnourished,but this is just a big hole in your text.

~Okay,now you specifically asked me to comment of the ending. I agree that you were building up to the moment, and I know that there will be a second story/part. So this is how a basic plot diagram should look like:

Spoiler

~In your story, I feel like we didn't really have an falling action and resolution, maybe because this could be a possible continuing story. I still felt, like we were almost just at the climax and then a sentence or two after that, and then BAM,done.

~You need to really strengthen your resolution and falling action,even though there might not be one directly here. The ending is abrupt, because it's a cliffhanger that doesn't give us any information, and makes us want to know more questions. Tbh, your ending is very cliche. It's unoriginal, because I have seen many endings end with a note of sorts,or writing. And that,in fact is pretty boring. We, as writers,don't want to be writing notes here, we want to be writing stories

~So as a suggestion, think about how you should wrap up or finish this first section. Maybe try to experiment with a couple of ending ideas,until you are perfectly satisfied with the one that you chose.I honestly don't know what's going to happen next, but maybe you could continue a bit and write this story futher(making it a bit longer) so that the ending could be more well-rounded. Look to the future

Anyways,that's it from me for today. I hope that this review helped you improve your writing,and if you have any questions,then please PM me or reply below.

~Peace Out~

/Pretzel/