Hey there!

This is pretty good!

I'm not entirely sure how to review it though. The style is interesting, and I think it would be perfect for a pre-teen girl, someone who's outgrown the simplicity of childrens books and is onto further things. For that kind of age group it would be perfect. The style is neat and not too complex. I also like the environment you've set up, I think it's familiar enough for most people to encorperate their own ideas or imaginations into it without you having to info-dump, and that's a hard thing to get the hang of.

I don't really have any qualms, the only thing I would say is that if you wanted to appeal to a broader audiance you could expand your horizons and make it a bit less familiar. Add a few oddities, things that are just enough out of the ordinary to keep within your genre, but still to give the environmeny and the people their own eccentricities.

Overall I think this is really good. The style of writing is fantastic, I just felt like I was reading something aimed at a much younger audiance.