We are born into the world, born pure and innocent and beautiful,
We are born loving and caring and joyful, but it fades away,
Away from our hearts and souls and minds,
Away from our bodies and into the air;
in the form of words.
Words that made us brave and bold and distinguished,
suddenly make us hateful and weak and troubled
but it is okay, really, it is okay;
for it is happening to everyone.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
Hey there!
This was pretty interesting. Yeah I totally agree to the fact that as we grow our innocence fades and as it fades our mouth grows more and more bigger , blurting out words which we usually don't mean.
I like the way you end the poem, by saying that it happens to everyone and that it is perfectly normal.
Overall this was really good, though I don't understand why you dint put it under the 'poems' category, cause to me it felt quite poetic. So yeah great job there!
Keep on writing
Fangirl~
Thank you so much for your comments! I wasn't really sure if it would constitute as a poem or just free verse
This is a pretty cool take on things, Funky! I mean, I surely never thought of words that way, so it was interesting reading this and thinking it through. It's kind of funny, when you think about it, that our innocence fades away as our words grow. Even though speech is a beautiful thing, it can also break us and mold us into something we probably don't want to be (or maybe we do? Who knows). It's a concept to really think about. Like authors, we've all got to choose our words carefully, I guess.
I also liked how you structured this entire piece, especially the way you left 'in the form of words' alone, almost like it's isolated from the rest. I don't know if you meant for it to be intentional, but I think it adds so much impact to what you're trying to say. Overall, this was nicely done, man. Kudos to you.
Thank you so much and yeah it was intentional and I was really hoping someone would pick up on it so kudos to you for that
I love the way you interpreted it!
Hey there! Stumbled across this, and decided to leave you a review!
So, firstly I'd like to say that this could qualify for poetry, but I see that you listed it as "Other". It's completely up to you, but I think it'd suit this peice to be listed as a poem
Okay, so onto my review...
When I first started reading, I noticed you were writing "and" multiple times in each line. I didn't like it, until I read the rest of the peice and realized this was intentional. So I actually really appreciated the use of repetition in this! I really liked how you went about describing that words build us up, and they also can break us down. It's very true, and your title fit this theme perfectly. I also really liked how you ended it, by stating it was happening to everyone. Anyway, I have nothing to nit-pick! I look forward to reading more of your work!
Thank you so much for your review! I was going to put it as poetry but I wasn't sure if it qualified so I just left it as Other