Amongst the many doors
On the right side,
The one made of glass
Had the most to hide
Though no one ever looked in
If only for a peek
Rumours spread about it
From the strong to the weak
Some said that it was empty
That it simply didn't exist
But why listen to those poor,
lonely pessimists?
Some said it was full
Of gold, silver and stone
That this poor glass door
was Midas' own
Some say that it was symbolic
The world's most confusing metaphor
Boy! People talked for hours,
About that glass door.
Now I am just a logical one
So what I can't understand, you see
Is why no one simply asked
The caretaker for the key!
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Canary word: Present
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125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
Wow this is a very well written poem, or at least I think it was. It seemed really free flowing and smooth for the most part. I think I liked how the diffrent people described the door. You did a really good job with this poem and it has a nice vibe. I think it also sends a message to the reader and I do have to ask. Did you mean for this poem to have a message behind it or was it just a free flowing type of thing? Both types are unique and a great way to write poetry.
I think you get that I liked the poem so keep writing the amazing work and best of luck in the future!
thanks so much for the review! Yeah it did have a message behind it but i wanted that message to mean something different to each person
Hi!
First of all, I think the poem was written beautifully yet there are some parts which I think could have been done better.
1. I praise you for putting rhymes yet in the poem there's no consistent arrangement like
ABAB or ABBA etc. This may just be because we were taught differently at school but I feel if the rhymes were more consistent, the poem would be more beautiful\
2. The tone and deepness of the poem was completely changed into a different one in your last bit in which you talked about a caretaker and I found it rather anticlimatic. From the beginning, you wrote it to make it sound deep and it was thought provoking and it would have been better if it remained like that until the end.
Consistency is key
Thank you so much for your review! Now that you have mentioned I do agree that the deepness escaped me in the final stanza and I will take that into account for my next poem. With the rhyming scheme, I haven't really worked with those so I will make sure to pick up on my arrangements!
Thank you again
No problem, I am looking forward for your next poem
Hey eddie im here to review your poem
first off i thoroughly enjoyed your work here and honestly there's not much id change.
i really like this part
[Amongst the many doors on the right side the one made of glass had the most to hide/] this
i really enjoyed this part cause it kind of portrays a message of meaning and like its a message you wanted to get out and maybe im wrong but i liked it anyways.
I also liked the humorous part of it too
[is why no one simply asked the caretaker for a key/]
again i really enjoyed this and i liked the funny parts and the serious parts as well
Thank you so much! I appreciate the review and I'm glad you enjoyed it
Good poem, but likely it could be better if you focused more on the message than an arbitrary rhyme scheme. Keep in mind that there are many types of poetry, not all of which use rhyme, and some that rhyme every other line or even in the middle of one.
Thank you for the advice! I must admit I don't have much experience working with poetry without a rhyming scheme, except for the poems I've read but I will be sure to follow up on your suggestion!
Hey funkyeddie92! I'm here to do a review. I really liked your poem it was interesting and kind of humorous.
Ok so I would like to talk about this quote.
Ok so for this quote it somewhat confused me. I think the wording of it made it a little off. I think that you should have maybe change the ¨If only for a peek¨, to maybe explain the wonder to why no one ever look in and opened the glass door. It might help with a better explanation instead of just going right into ¨If only for a peek.¨ I think that this quote/part of the poem was good I would just give the reader a better explanation.
I really liked this part of the poem!
I thought that this was humorous because throughout the whole poem you talk so much about the door, and what could be in it, and then you just create this humor to it when you bring the logic to the poem. I really thought this was a good part that you added to your poem. I also never expected it to end like that, so I thought that was cool.
Another part of your poem that I would like to talk about is.
I think for this quote that you should maybe add words to help with the flow of the poem here. Maybe you could have said instead of ¨people talked for hours, about the glass door.¨ is ¨many people had talked for hours, just over the glass door.¨ Just a suggestion, but I just think that you should reword the stanza.
Overall really good poem! I liked your concept! Keep up the good work! I Hope to read more of your works.
Thanks for such a detailed review! I appreciate the time put into it! Your advice is going to be taken into consideration, no worries about that!. I'm glad that you enjoyed the humour in the last stanza because that was what I was essentially going for, that whole everything may be serious but you should always end on a light note!
Heya! this is one of the most sensible poems i have ever read. It has some deeper sides but from an overlook it SOUNDS FANTASTIC!! the ending was just so practical. The glass door theme is so transparent. I loved the poem. Just had a question-
are there any deeper sides? if yes then sorry to say but they arent visible clearly.
Besides trust me you are a fantastic poet. your style of playing with words is what makes your poem different.
Still i think you can be more expressive and bring out the logic of the poem more clearly also since you possess this extraordinary ability of bewitching words into your style you should concentrate on the theme of the poem and select something that touches peoples heart , soul or brain. That is what creates an effect.
But remember me mate: Keep writing..you are
I think you missed something!
The last line!
*YOU'RE AWESOME or something, I suppose?
Thanks guys! And Tammi, thank you so much for the tip! To be honest, I wanted the glass door to represent each individual's perspective and to show that even if the door is transparent for some reason everyone seems to still assume they know what is behind it. I really just wanted my readers to find their "glass door"!
Hello there, gonna leave you a review quickly!
Firstly, my overall impression of your poem, is that it is very well-written! I love the symbolism of a glass door having secrets behind it. The ending, whether or not intentional, made me giggle a bit xD
Honestly, I have no nit-picks for this poem, other than perhaps separating it into stanzas, though that's mainly just my personal preference.
You did a wonderful job on this poem, and I hope to read more of your work soon!
Thank you so much for your review!
Hey, eddie...
That's an awesome poem. The title was great , attracted me and this is why I read and now I am reviewing it.
Well, I liked the theme, the title, the lines. But I think, you could have used punctuation in a better way. Like-
You could have used a full stop at the end of the 4th line, 8th line and 16th line.
That's it, this little point, is what I would like to report.
Most importantly, welcome to YWS!
Hoping to read more of your writings
Thank you so much for the tip
I'm always looking for feedback from fellow writers and I'm glad to have found a whole society! Dead Poets Society sequel....I do think so 