I really like how you've structured it. It immediately got my attention. And the imagery was fantabulous! Really, starting off your poem with phrases like "sweet scents", "wistfully awake", and "summers air" help so much with the setting. The detail and vocabulary are just as good. From here, the poem only gets better. I especially like the line, "Just smile today for tomorrow may falter". It adds to the mood and creates a hint of suspense. You've started out with a beautiful summers day and now you mention time and how it flies by.
...maybe I'm being to nice, but the very end is even better. It gives a bit of a sad sense with the line "that's all a play". Makes it sound like the life we live isn't really much of anything...not that I agree with the statement, but this poem certainly does put that into perspective. Well done! I hope to read more of your works.
Points: 2830
Reviews: 74
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