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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
It was great, I agree with it 100%. Great job, I totally loved it. A few changes I would make:
*Likes*
This was a breath of fresh air. I read it right before i went to sleep and am happy to tell you, it gave me wonderful dreams.... I have nothing else to say but keep it up!
~Skittles.
P.S. the style is beautiful!
Hi Freewritersavvy,
Like Snoink mentioned it was a bit more "technical" than most poetry, but I still loved it, very refreshing! Poetry is an awesome way to put words to our random thought and sometimes we learn a lot about ourselves from doing it. It's totally pre-epic-story. Keep writing!
~DakotaKnight
In all honesty, I have no particular criticisms of this piece. It was absolutely wonderful and speaks so much truth about what goes on when we try to write something, but just can seem to get the words on paper. Bravo! Isn't it great how things like this happen accidentally
I look forward to reading more of your work. Happy writing!
Helloo freewritersavvy!
I want to start off with saying that I really like this write! *clicks like* There's a great flow in it and well I just like the wirte! XD
Just a few little things I would change:
Other than these little nitpicks: great poem!
I really enjoyed reading this and I hope this helped a little
-qaralynn-
Wow, this is really great.
This part. The 'to' in this interrupts flow of the rest of it.The only thing that interrupts it's flow is...
Otherwise this is a really great poem! It flows so well and there's a nice amount of emotion in it!
Awesome job
Keep writing,
Alzora
Hey freewritersavvy!
Hmm... I am not sure about this! It seems very... technical? This may just be me, but when I write, the last things that come to mind are the actual writing instruments and such. I mean, they are important, obviously, but what is more important is the maniac energy in writing... the kind of possession, if you will, that causes me to write down whatever and then makes me look at the words in wonder, with the thought, "Wait, I wrote that?" That sort of thing!
So, if you're talking about writing instruments and paper... well... this makes sense and it's all very fine and good. But, if you would rather focus on the actual writing and delivery, this seems pretty flat to me. It seems like you're too interested in making things flow and not interested in bringing out the wild, maniac energy of writing.
Of course, I am probably biased here, lol. I have a fierce passion for writing and I think I scare people off with this sort of passion, in its full-display. ^^;;
Anyway, hope that helps and if you have any questions, feel free to bug me!
Hi there, freebie! I'm really not a poet, and I don't do much poetry reviewage, generally, but since you asked so nicely, here I am. First off, let me point out a few purely technical things:
Shouldn't that be "writer's dream", with an apostrophe?I'm not entirely sure what you're trying to say, but I think this should be "too smoothly", unless I've completely misunderstood things.
Again, I think this should have an apostrophe after the r and before the s. Also, I don't think you wanted that space before the comma, did you? *picky*
Also, think about your capitalization and make it consistent. Do you capitalize the beginning of every line? Do you capitalize only after periods? If I were you, I'd think about that, and make it be the same throughout.
Overall, this is a nice poem, and I think you did a pretty good job of making the words flow well. The rhymes work, and it's easy to read out loud. Nice job, it's simple and sweet. Also, it's nice to know that this just came to you! Accidental poetry, huh?
My main issue with this poem is that it sort of feels like each line is on its own. Sometimes, couplets work together, but usually the whole stanza feels a little unconnected, and it's kind of hard to tell what you're trying to say syntacitcally. Look at this one for instance: This sort of feels to me like it wants to be two stanzas. Or at least like there wants to be a period after "be", but even if you did that I'm not sure "pen on paper/soon to be" would feel complete. It's sort of like you have a lot of ways to say something but they're all just floating around--it would be lovely if you expanded on just a few of them to make the poem more unified. Or at least make each stanza feel like a complete thought. If you don't, with a poem like this, it feels like you're just trying to find words that fit the rhyme. ;}
Nice work, all in all. Sorry this wasn't more helpful--I'm really not a poetry guru.
a
Haha I love this! It's so simple, yet so amazing.
The flow is great. I am so jealous- you can write something so awesome without even meaning to!
This is my favorite stanza. Or maybe it's this one...
Hmmm..... I don't know I can't pick! XD
I love all of it! Great job!
~Ktg
I absolutely love this!!! You keep saying you're no good at poetry, yet you spin out writing like this!!! Brilliant!! You're destined to be a great writer!!!!