Young Writers Society

Hi! I have to sat that these poems.......confused me. First of all, you have not thought of the word count at all; haiku have the 5/7/5 syllable rule. Second, some of them don't make sense to me, such as ' Visible Raindrops'. What IS it about? I didn't understand 'You're all but a sight', and ' A Watcher'' either.

In the first haiku, the sentence '' snow made my tears dried' is not correct. It should be DRY.

The haiku 'Don't pushed so hard' should be PUSH, right?

And finally, the last haiku: Last Drop of the Autumn Leaf. What do you mean by a DROP of the autumn leaf? I'm totally at sea.

Don't be disheartened; keep trying. You'll get the hang of haikus eventually! I can't write them properly yet, too.

Mysticalxx

I'm here to review!
First of none of these actually count as real haiku.
Here are some resources that will help you write this form of poetry and understand it better.
this is the best thing that I've ever found it that explains what a haiku is and what it isn't please read it

here is a review that explains more the purpose of haiku and gives examples

Please, please read these links. They are the easiest to read, and best resources that I have found on yws. And I'm not going to repeat anything that they said because I will assume that you read them. You really need information in those links so please, please read them.

You attempted to get the syllables right, but you messed up on several of the poems for example 2,3, 4, and 8.
Remember the correct order of syllables is 5, 7, 5.

As for the content of these haiku, they didn't make much sense in addition to them not having the correct content of haiku which is explained in the first link I sent (pleaaaase read it.) Almost every single one of these haiku read really awkwardly. I think you're forcing yourself too much. Good haiku take a lot of thought and time to write-- it's not just a quick "let's jot down ten things that have a certain number of syllables!" Which is what it looks like you did here.
Many of these don't make even a logical sense.
When I said that it takes a lot of effort to write a haiku, I didn't really mean that. What I mean is that it takes a lot of practice and understanding to get good at writing haiku. I think the haiku writing itself should be spontaneous and inspired. But you don't have to be at that level yet. I was just saying this because I don't want you to think that haiku are something labored over for hours.

Let me know if you have any questions. The real meat of my review should just be the content in those links. c:
Keep writing! I'm glad you're experimenting with poetic forms. Great job at that. Keep up the good work and do let me know if you have questions, I'd love to be of use.
~fortis

I am Corralynn, your editor today, just a few little corrections below,

"Snow (makes) my tears (dry)" "Dry" over "Dried" and "makes" over "made", It allows the sentence to flow more evenly.

5.Visible Raindrops: This one didn't make any sense to me. Do you mind explaining it?

"8.Don't (Push) So Hard" Just a small correction. "pushed" doesn't make any sense in that context, I assume you meant "push"

8. and 9. Loved these two! Really well written and they really pull the heart strings.

I love Haiku's, they are so fun to write and read. Short and sweet is always the best. I found a few hard to read or some that didn't make any sense. I understand that you are stuck to a very structured way in writing when writing a Haiku, but give yourself a bit of time to write them and reflect on your writing. It always helps!

Overall a wonderful job! Keep writing!

Corralynn!