I worry now, as it is my nature to worry,
as my back arches, as my womb swells,
if the rot I've carried since I was nine
will infest the veins of who I bear.
-
If I have taken after my Mother's sorrows,
how can I stop my babe from taking mine?
When she breaks through, when she cries,
will it be from all the tears I've held?
-
I must stop this burden from passing on.
I will stop this burden from passing on.
I won't breathe in the poison of the paint.
-
In filling the empty seat at the table,
I have finally found a way to save my Mother.
The empty seat at the table couldn't be,
could never have been filled by me.
-
Flesh of my flesh, bone of my bones,
I will give you your name and it
will not be Savior. I will call you
as you are,
-
Beloved.
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,804 Reviews
Is it possible that the ending comes from Toni Morrison’s book? :eyes:
Unfortunately, I can't say I've ever read a Toni Morrison book :0
Hai :3
This is such a good poem!! I love how you dive straight into the worry ~~ Like, it’s not just a feeling, it’s part of who you are. That hit so deep already!! There is such an intense, physical connection to the emotions here, like it’s not just thoughts but something in your body, something you're carrying. The line about the rot since you were nine crushed me!! It’s such a vivid, haunting way to describe that pain, like you’ve been holding onto something toxic and it’s had time to fester.
I love this as an allegory for womanhood!! There’s this constant fear of passing on not just physical traits, but emotional burdens. Society pushes perfection onto women, especially mothers, and I see that here!! It’s such a relatable fear for anyone who’s ever had to face their family’s history, woman or not. It's like the weight of expectation, and the realization that you aren’t meant to be the one to fill that role, like there's this unattainable ideal that you’ve finally let go of.
I LOVE the mantra vibe here !!!
Maybe you could play with it a little more to make it hit harder though!! I wish there was something to show the tension building up even more as you go ~~ Like, especially when it's compared with the emptiness motif. Is there something about the emptiness that’s painful, or maybe it’s not just emptiness but the wrongness of trying to fill it? How does this mantra come into play? The idea of passing something on is very poetic, but it doesn't have the depth I want to see for this.
^^^ Like this!! For the empty seat at the table, you had me absolutely hooked, but then the last line of that stanza, “could never have been filled by me,” felt a bit weaker compared to the rest. I think it could be paired well with the repeated line I mentioned above!! You have a lot of brilliant ideas and images floating around, but I want to see something that connects them, you know?
It's so beautifully heartbreaking though, like you've found peace in realizing you can't be everything for everyone. It’s so full of growth and pain at the same time!! That stanza feels like you’re trying to convince yourself as much as anyone else that you are worthwhile and take up place ~~ Like, you want to believe so badly that it’s possible to break this cycle and become someone. I think that's a very common theme when it comes to womanhood. It's very nuanced and hard to swallow!!
Love, love, love !!!
It’s such a tender, loving moment and a total shift from the weight and worry before, like you’re reclaiming something beautiful for yourself and for the child. There’s so much hope in that word, and it’s exactly the softness this poem needed to wrap up. You’re refusing to place the burden of saving or fixing anything on this new life, but instead, you’re embracing the love they bring!! I love that!!
This poem is incredible and so full of feeling!! I don't think I've read one from this perspective in a long time, but I'm glad I did. Amazing work!! ^_^
- Payton
thanks so much for your review!
This is just a really beautiful piece. Thank you for sharing this
thank you for takin the time to read it <3
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression
An incredibly powerful poem and one with an incredible message in it to boot. I honestly don't have much to say besides just praise for this one. It hits you with some incredible lines and the core message is simply beautiful.
Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;
Oooh powerful opening right away. The use of the word rot there is especially strong, showcasing just how badly she views this and how much of a visceral feeling that creates as she is becoming pregnant with her child.
Oh this is just getting more and more powerful. The imagery there of the tears and how they spread is just incredible. I honestly don't have much to besides amazing job for that, just the image of how sorrows can pass and taking the idea of a baby crying upon birth and linking it to the mother's tears. That's just amazing work there.
Ooooh an interesting little moment of determination. The idea of paint I'll be honestly doesn't ring as powerfully as some of the other ones to me personally but still loving the sense of resolve and power this brings across here as a mother's promise to her unborn child.
Oooh interesting. This one at least the way I interpret it feels like the idea that a grandchild here would cause some form of comfort to the mother but at the same time that doesn't quite work with the whole I'll keep my mother's problems away so maybe this is more of a I'll fill this seat with a better future for the child than the seat which carried with it all the baggage. Either way an interesting stanza this.
Oooh this is a beautiful ending there. The idea of how her mother viewed her as some sort of savior, someone that her mother maybe channeled her own problems through and how she will change this by treating her child with the love and attention needed. Genuinely an amazing little message to end on. Very powerfully done!
Aaand that's it for this oneee!!!
Overall
Overall a powerful piece with some really well thought out imagery there. I only had the one little place where I felt things didn't quite line up but otherwise really nothing else to say besides amazing job!
As always remember to: Take what you think was helpful and forget the rest!
Kate
thank you for taking the time to leave this review <3