1. He often suspects that they are secretly plans to achieve YWS domination and overthrow him.
2. He often wonders why they rarely contain chimpanzees. There must be more chimps. He feels very left out gazing at the storybooks.
3. The number of people in a storybook and the sheer number of the storybooks themselves makes his head hurt. He also fears he's overdosing on aspirin.
4. Nate fears one day that so many people will join a storybook that it will be all they focus on and no one is left to write. His worst nightmare is no work in the literary spotlight and the chickens in the chat room stealing all the food.
5. Managing storybooks is a big task. Sometimes he wishes that the monkeys taking care of the notifs would help him out occasionally.
6. Oh no!... someone PMed him pleading for him to help them out with their storybook--something went wrong. This list is no longer continued.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Happy review day!!
I just started joining storybooks a few months ago, and when I saw this title, I just had to check it out. I thought it was really clever how you only had the six reasons, it was a fun little twist on the "ten reasons why Nate..." trend.
The phrase "that they are secretly plans" seemed a bit awkward to me. You may want to replace "they" with "storybooks", just for a little more clarification. The adverb "secretly" also seems a little bit awkward, I'm not sure if an adverb is the right thing to use in this context. Maybe "secret" instead of "secretly"?
This phrase also seemed a bit awkward:
"the chickens in the chat room stealing all the food".
I'm not sure if "stealing" is in the right tense here, you may want to read that through again.
Anyways, both of these critiques are pretty nitpicky. I enjoyed reading this humorous post and I have to say, these 6 reasons are pretty valid reasons to be afraid of storybooks. I agree that we should have more chimp-oriented storybooks
Haha. Thanks for reviewing!
Finally a Ten reasons (or actually 6 reasons...) I can talk about! Hello Artemis, and today is your lucky day, for Cratos has come from Tartarus to review your work!! (no Greek jokes? Fine, I'll stop...)
Anyway, where were we. Ah yes, the reasons. I shall be doing a quick review (since I am studying for finals) on grammar, vocabulary, you know the drill.
Reason 1: It is an interesting point you make, but I am not at liberty to discuss the true nature of our storybooks. The only qualm I have with this paragraph is:
I find the tautology here unnecessary, since something that is secretly being planned is automatically disguised, and vice versa. Also, when it concerns domination, destruction or usurpation, it is a plot, not a plan.
Reasons 2 and 4 are fine, and quite delightful, too...
Reason 3: All is well, just one part which bothers me. (I know I am nitpicky)
When read alone, this makes sense, but when read with the part before that, it might be misleading. Are we talking about the sheer number of storybooks (as it was intended) or the amount of storybookers? Just a small qualm.
Reason 5:
Just change task to chore. It sounds more classy and also makes it seem more important.
[/quote]
Please add a "the" before monkeys. It was omitted in the original.
Reason 6: I like how you explain why you don't continue. Just one minor thing which bothered me. You used the word "him" twice merely three words apart. Since you haven't mentioned Nate's name in this or the previous paragraph, just change either of these hims to Nate (otherwise you are merely continuously playing the pronoun game)
Overall, I think this is one of the more decent Ten Reasons, so I am scoring this a 8 out of ten. Bravo!
I hope to read more of your work soon,
The Clockwork Conjurer