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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
Hi!! I love this poem. I love the metaphors you use, I love how you create a really vivid image in my mind. This reminds me of Sylvia Plath’s poetry. In the first stanza, the idea of burning by touching the stove, is a really great start. It sets the mood and maybe shows that the rest of the poem is going to explore an intense emotion. In the second stanza “neurons under my skin” implies that whatever the change is in the narrator, it’s a change on a deep level, below the surface. Then this “sucking smoke trails” I’m not sure if this was literal or metaphorical, i took it metaphorically and does it suggest that the narrator and the girl are trying to have something they can’t have? Because…ummm… smoke. The third stanza I found really interesting because the narrator wants her to chase them “down those concrete stairs” and it is called “stepladder to heaven” heaven is thought of as being up, in the skies. In the fourth stanza, when I read “greedy hands” my first thought was that this was a negative use of the word, but when I read it again, that doesn’t make sense, so I think here it is expressing a strong desire and attraction.
That’s all I have to say. This is an awesome poem.
Hi there! This is Orabella, here with a quick review. ^^
I'm afraid to say that I haven't read much of your poetry, but I've heard so many amazing things about it, and goodness from what I've seen you're better than what I've heard! I just had to go read some of your other poetry and now I'm just !!!!!! In awe. This is beautiful. <3
What I love about your poetry is the style. You have such a unique way of writing poetry that combines imagery and statements that are so thoughtful and make my brain tingle with curiosity.
Like,
What does this mean??! It's one of those statements that just makes you pause and think, and I just want to sit here for a while and try to discern what it means - it's so interesting...
Your description says:
Does this relate to your last line? If you want to be the driver of the getaway van at first, and then at the end you're saying you won't drive her home, then is this a change over time? Where once you wanted to do something, but you no longer want to? (Or you know it's no longer right?) Or are these completely unrelated? Either way, it's fun to think about the meaning behind them, and by that definition your poetry is super fun!!
Gosh I really just love that last verse, so I'm going to keep talking about it XD It's so interesting how it goes from something that seems like the stereotypical deep and serious imagery, and then it changes to letters and writing. I love the switch between these two different things, and it adds different layers to both - and something so unexpected and unique all at the same time.
And who can forget about the imagery? (Even though I've mentioned it too many times already) These lines are just speaking to me right now; I love them:
Even though nothing is very specific like in a book, I can still imagine the images you're painting with your words, and something about this part in particular just makes me wanna *chef's kiss* it's beautiful.
Thank you so much for sharing this poem! I love all the ideas that went into this, and I'm so glad I ran into it. Please keep writing poetry! I love this so much more than I can explain in words; this is incredible!!! Hope you have an amazing day/night/afternoon/morning/evening/sunset wherever you are!!!
Hey, Kaerae here! This poem is short but sent me back into my memories of the past. Using lines like
really invokes a sense of nostalgia for me. I remember being a child and learning new things, like not to touch the burner. Something interesting I learned recently is that our brains remember physical pain. As the poem goes on, there is a lot of imagery that draws the reader in like To me a story gets really interesting of the author can keep my focus with lots of imagery, and you certainly did. The third stanza again develops that nostalgia from childhood, but with a small sad twist I am assuming that the MC (sister?) has passed, and she wants to go with her. It would explain all the pain you mentioned in the first stanza. The last line hits home. It is like a closing or a last goodbye. We eventually have to come to terms with the loss of someone. My favorite stanza has to be that 3rd one. We should all enjoy the time we have with loved ones before it is too late. Overall, this poem was well written, and I can feel the emotion that you put into it. Great work and keep writing~Kaerae