Published November 3, 2007
Music is beauty
Above all the rest
A loving emotion
The best of the best
It weaves a new fabric
Of sweet harmony
Notes embraced tightly
Is music to me
Love is a song sung
Straight from the heart
Beautiful melody
Of never apart
Friendship's a song, too
That many have played
Dancing together
As new music's made
It all draws together
With its beauty alive
When music is played
It stirs emotion inside
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141,440 Literary Works • 674,432 Reviews
Good job.
From the very first line you caught my attention. I loved it! It was very well rhymed and put in simple words that it can deliver a message, or just an image. Like other people have mentioned you could divide the stanzas in half, just to make it a little easier on the reader, but its fine if you don't. Awsome job.
*~*Foreseer*~*
I found most of these words empty of meaning. They're all things I've heard previously to describe music, and I've always wondered why. "Music is beauty" How is music beauty? What makes it more beautiful than other forms of art? How can something auditory translate into something visual? These are examples of what I missed from your poem. This continues throughout the poem too: "When music is played/It stirs emotion inside" Again, how does it stir emotion? What are the effects of this? Of what consequence are these feelings?
Smooth, that flowed very nicely. I don't really have anything negative to say, I like your idea and it was delivered very well. I got the message clearly, and it was very beautiful.
much thanks!!
i'll see to it that i'll break it up. i tried it on paper,and it does look better. maybe i was just a afraid of messing it up??
i love music, and you put the emotion in your poem. it is absolutely beautiful.
the only thing i would change is breaking it up into paragraphs. it makes it easier on the reader.
other then that, you have a talent. keep going.
kim
it is really good! i like it!
I like this! It's really pretty and well-rhymed. I like the idea, and it's not too overused and delivered in a cliched way.
Separating the ideas of love being music and music being music would be good, I think, because you're trying to say different things in each.
I think, though, that it might help this piece if you broke this piece into stanzas - even just cutting it in half would be good.
Yup yup, not much other to say than that.
Peace, love, chocolate,
Muffin