Published April 3, 2005
All I can say is that I hope you like it... heh...
I’m in one of my moods again.
I’m sitting here under this beautiful big tree. An oak tree, I think. But I am not really concerned about the oak tree. No. I am wondering about how my life is so much tougher than the carefree children that are playing tag, the teenagers and their petty arguments about boyfriends and girlfriends, and the adults with their whole life’s dilemma. My problem is so much worse than theirs. They get to talk and laugh with people who care about them, even if they do occasionally have a stupid fight.
I bet not one of those people, those children, teenagers, and adults, could even last four hours as me. They would probably break under the silence of day and night, getting bored and itching to do something. But they can’t. Instead, they sit and wait, watching for something to happen, anything. Anything that they could watch and process. They would have to wait through the silence of the night, desperately trying to sleep, but they can’t. They are forced to watch, just like I did, do, and will do, every single day. They would scream and scream, but not one person would hear or much less care.
No one cares about how I feel, what I want to do. If one of those people got into an argument, they would get me in the middle of it, using me to get their anger out at someone else. I just want a simple question. “Will you help me?” No. They just take me into the problem. Wherever I happen to be, it happens. At parks, stores, parking lots, and most of all, schools. Why can’t they just leave me alone or at least thank me for helping them in their fight? Not one single person has come up to me and thanked me for being me, for doing anything at all, even if I was the reason they won the argument. Not one “thank you”. Not one. No one cares about me. No one cares when I’m hurt, physically or emotionally. I have no friends to comfort me. I’m all by myself and people walk right over me because of it.
It’s a tough life, being a rock.
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141,312 Literary Works • 674,342 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Okay...well this is certainly an interesting start there. Not a direction you see taken too often to start off with on this somewhat more observational tone with an interesting little tangent there where a bit of judgement seems to be leaking into the situation. It certainly combines to make for an interesting combination and it does do a good job of getting our attention.
Hmm...well it seems we've got a different sort of line to what I was expecting there as we've got this person whose sort of projecting some sort of not so great situation in their life onto what teenagers may go through and using that as a bit of a metric to showcase just how horrifying their side of things is. I don't fully see where this connection lies but there's enough intrigue to keep me interested so far.
Well that is quite the ending there. i will say I did not see that one coming. Its quite a surprise move but then suddenly of course this whole thing makes a lot more sense. I will warn against making that second bit a touch exaggerated given this is not meant to convey as much raw emotion given this is sort of a rock's point of view as opposed to a person going through horrible. Otherwise its a solid story and I think you did a pretty decent job here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Haha... that rocks!! Eh... no pun intended...
But seriously, this was great. The opening line caught my attention for some reason and then once I got to the end it made it even better. This was really clever... I was not expecting it. Heehee. Great job.
It was funny and I enjoyed reading it. I can't wait to read more of your stuff. The ending was surprising and made me laugh. At first I thought maybe it was about you or something but then it was like "Hello" LOL! Good job.
Ahahahah, oh man. That last line definately caught me off guard. I read the entire thing twice through, just to get the full effect of knowing what you were talking about the second time around.
This bit confused me, even the second time around. At first, I was like, "Oh, you'd put a rock in the middle of two people in order to stop the...arguement? Nah, that's wrong." And of course a person likes to use violence to get their anger out about certain things, but I couldn't really picture it happening in my head, with what you wrote there. Maybe I'm just stupid.
However, I LOVED this line:
Oh dear, I'm still laughing.
Overall, I think the way you kept the tone overly dramatic and 'emo' (if you will) throughout the entire story really built up to the surprise ending. Excellent job.
There's not a whole lot I can say except, it was very funny. Most stuff on here isn't comedy oriented. Maybe we should start a comedy section. I found this amusing and a very light read which is good because I can get through it without constant interupptions by my family or friends while I read.
That's a good thing. My favorite part, besides the ending, was:
I’m sitting here under this beautiful big tree. An oak tree, I think. But I am not really concerned about the oak tree. No. I am wondering about how my life is so much tougher than the carefree children that are playing tag, the teenagers and their petty arguments about boyfriends and girlfriends, and the adults with their whole life’s dilemma. My problem is so much worse than theirs. They get to talk and laugh with people who care about them, even if they do occasionally have a stupid fight.
I don't know why, it's just so real. So many people fight constantly over the smallest things. Very funny and real. Good job and keep writing!
What she said.
I saw this on TYWC, and I still like it, especially the ending. It works because as it goes on, it sounds soppier and soppier until finally - BAM! - you're hit with the surprise ending. Very nice, I like it very much!
Well, that's okay. You write well, and that's what really makes me want to read more.
Heh, thanks... my other stuff isn't as funny though, sorry.
LOL, I was getting pretty sympathetic (although not too much since it's in Other Fiction and not Non-Fiction), but that was awesome! That was hilarious. I should read more of your stuff.