Published October 12, 2014
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141,299 Literary Works • 674,335 Reviews
Great poem!! I loved how you took something that already happened and retold it like that! If only I could turn in all my papers as poems, creepily, I'm always rhyming. I'll have to try a historical poem sometime, it seems like an interesting topic. I agree with SnazzyPencil, it was could you choose someone a bit out of the ordinary, or less famous to base your poem on. Fantabulous job!!
Thanks! I completely agree that all papers should be poems, too. Although strangely, I love writing essays, so I guess I would miss those...haha
Hey emeraldfox!
Okay, personally, I love historical fiction, whether it be poetry, or stories. I like how you did it about Dolley Madison, instead of someone like; Abraham Lincoln or Benjamin Franklin, because it wasn't just the men who are famous historical figures, the woman are too!
Most of the rhyming was done well, but I do agree that you should try to strengthen it at the end, but really, that is the only thing that I could find!
This was a wonderfully written poem! Keep Writing!!
-SnazzyPencil
Thank you!
Hey! AJ here to review.
Okay, so I will probably make this comment on every poem I review. But I think that this poem could use some punctuation. Even just a few commas and periods would really help. Of course, I'm the poet that could use a little too much punctuation in her poems, but I think it does help to convey the idea and makes for easier reading.
The rhyming on the last words of each line grows more distinct at the end. I would suggest either strengthening it at the beginning or making the ending lines a little less rhyming.
Overall, i think this is a beautiful poem. The length is very appropriate and it conveys the idea well. Maybe make a couple changes, but this was a pleasure to read. Keep on writing!
-ajruby12
Thank you! And you're right about the punctuation. Rereading it now, it could probably use some.
Hey there! Man... I love historical stuff, and I really love this! Great job on this poem! I really liked how you formatted this into a single stanza, and how the lines were all continuously long. I remember reading this in history class, and you did a wonderful job portraying that scene! I always thought that Dolley Madison was really brave and cool that day, I mean, she risked her life for a portrait! You made a hero out of her in this poem... Just marvelous! I have nothing to recommend you do, as this is perfect. I liked the length as well, that you actually added substance to the scene and the feelings Madison had without making the poem the size of a regular story. In addition, I liked how you didn't put any sort of punctuation, actually adding to to the story, not taking away from it by being distracting to the reader. Sorry if I gushed... I just love history pieces! Thanks for writing this, and have a great day!
Thank you!