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The Commonwealth Union Change

by emefalarbi3031

Saturday,12th January, 2015

‘Mandy get out of bed its 6:30 you’ll be late for school’, my mum said. My name is Mandy Bako and I’m 7 years old and I’m already dreading the idea of school. When I grow, I would like to become the president of Ghana and make changes to the educational system, it’s too boring! But for now, I have to just run along, catch you later.

Okay, so I'm in school now and it’s the last period, I have English Language. I speak the language fluently as far as I'm concerned so I really don’t understand why I have to actually sit in the classroom to learn something I already know. So just for this once I intend to skip class and wander in the school’s garden. No one should be there at this time so I should be able to get away with it. I’ll just tell my friend’s I had to go home because I was quite sick so they have something to tell the teacher.

So, it’s 4 00 pm now and I'm sitting at home in the couch watching cartoons and I just remembered what happened early on today in the garden. When I got there, I went straight to the benches very close to the trees because that was the airiest and safest place to hide from any teacher. I sat there just thinking and imagining how the world will be when I grow up. Then I got an idea, what if I can actually become the president of the country and help the country advance by making connections with the more developed countries. Just the thought of it made me so excited! My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a tap on my shoulder. I was startled because I thought I was busted. Instead I turned to find a beautiful middle-aged woman dressed in a long flowery dress smiling at me. I had never seen her before and wondered how she found her way to the school garden. However, before I could speak, she just said, ‘You can still change the world, she offered me a small golden coin. Before I could say anything, she pointed at something behind me and by the time I realized there was nothing there, she was gone.

I still have the coin with me and I’m wondering how it’s going to help me change the world. But I'm not willing to show it to my mother, she has some superstitious beliefs and it won't help me in any way. So, I have decided to keep the coin under by pillow in a pouch until I figure out a way to use it to change the world.

It’s time to go to bed now and I still haven’t figured out what to do with the golden coin the woman gave me this afternoon. I’ll just sleep and find out tomorrow.

13th January, 2015 (Or so I thought)

I felt rays of sunlight coming right at my face and slowly penetrating through my translucent eyelids right to my eyeballs. I was quite confused as to why the sun was so bright and how it managed to seep through the thick fabric of my curtains. Still in confusion, I decided to open my eyes, I went straight to the washroom, without realizing I was in a room that I didn’t recognize, it looked very expensive. When I got inside the washroom, I realized I looked older and taller and there was a wedding ring on my finger. Okay so I was too confused to keep on standing so I rushed back to the room and sat on the bed trying to digest what was happening. I saw a phone on the side table, I assumed it was mine. The date on it was 13th January, 2045. Okay, now I was totally confused and freaking out! I noticed a l note under the side lamp, it read,

‘Mandy, I had to leave early for the meeting we spoke about yesterday with the head of construction at the company. I thought you’d be too tired so I decided not to wake you up since we have a long day today. Be ready by 12:30 pm, I'll be back to pick you up.

Love, Lawrence.

Things were not so clear but at least I think I could figure that the name of my husband was Lawrence and that I was a sort of influential person. Just when I was about to go take my bath, I heard my phone ring, it was Lawrence. ‘Honey, how was your night?’, he asked. His voice sounded nice; I hadn't seen him yet but I feel like I made the right choice for a husband. ‘It was okay, how are you?’, I replied trying to sound normal. ‘I'm okay, I hope you saw my note’, he said. ‘Yes, I did, I was just going to bath’, I said. ‘That’s great the world can't wait to hear the Inauguration Speech of the first female President of Ghana', he said in an exciting tone. ‘So, I'm the president of Ghana? the first female President? Okay, does my day get any better?’, I asked myself. I guess I went through boring school after and achieved my dream. But how was I going to give a speech if I didn’t fully know what was happening around me. Lawrence should be able to help me figure things out.

15th January, 2045

The Inauguration ceremony went on well, I had saved it on my pc and I read it well, I apparently took school very seriously to have read that well and I certainly stopped missing English classes. I was on my way to a meeting with the heads of all the Commonwealth nations. I had proposed an idea to the chairman of the Commonwealth of nations that could strengthen the bond of the Commonwealth union and also help less developed countries to do better. In that meeting I was going to make a final presentation to all the Heads of State and from there actions will be taken to work towards the aim. So, I got to the meeting very early and set up for my presentation that I prepared a long time ago. I was beginning to get comfortable with my life as an adult. I seemed to remember everything like I lived through all the years. During the presentation, I proposed four main ideas and they were all centered around education because I believe that’s the root of all the problems and difficulties in the less developed countries. Firstly, I suggested that professional teachers be sent to the less developed countries from the more developed countries to teach and alongside train the indigenous teachers their methods of teaching for a period of time and return back to their countries. The second suggestion was for all schools in less developed countries to adapt the Cambridge International Exams syllabus in all schools, so we’ll all be on the same page. Thirdly, I made a proposition for all the less developed countries to sponsor some of the very brilliant students to have their tertiary education in their countries so they could later come back and help develop the countries they’re from. And lastly, I appealed for all the Heads of State to train their students both professionally and entrepreneurially so as to reduce the pressures on their State-owned companies for employment from the graduates. So as help those who prefer starting their own businesses to start with the skills and expertise they acquired in school. At the end of my presentation, there was a poll and all were in favor of my ideas. This made me more than excited because it was a childhood dream come true!

Later that evening, I went out with my husband to celebrate the sweet victory. I excused myself to visit the restroom and as I was returning to where we were, an old woman who looked just like the woman I met in the school garden when I was 7 years old approached me and said, ‘I told you could change the world, this is just a glimpse of the future and the great things you will achieve in future my child if you’re serious with your education and believe in yourself’. I told her I wanted her to meet my husband. So, I lead the way, when we got to Lawrence, I turned to introduce her but she wasn’t there, having experienced this before, I just changed the topic.

'Mandy, wake up its 8:30 am and you have piano lessons at 10:00am'. I knew whose voice that was and I knew perfectly well where I was. I just smiled and got out of bed, too excited about my dream to be annoyed at anything.

The End or The Beginning...

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48 Reviews

Points: 91
Reviews: 48

Sun May 26, 2019 6:45 pm
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Ishan212 wrote a review...

I'm Ishan and I'm here to review your short story titled The Commonwealth Union Change

So here we go;

First of all, let me tell you that I belong to uet another Commonwealth Nation, India.
So reading about your title, it was evident that I would review it.

The Commonwealth Union Change tells the story of a seven year old girl from Ghana, an African Commonwealth Country, who broke the shackles of slavery sometime back and now developing and stepping into the future. I like the wayu ypou structured your story. it could have been more spicier, if there wqs the description of the old woman, the husband and the presidential speech.

A couple of questions.
A. Why does ylour protagonist wish that all Commonwealth Nations adopt the Cambridge System of education, knowing the basic fact that all of these nations ahve rich and varied cultures and languages and it is not necessary that the British system would cater to their needs and a tailor made system of each country would definitely do ?
B. Why does your protagonist want developed nations to send their teachers to underdeveloped nations for teaching purposes? Isn't it a better option if a Commonwealth Education System is established or different countries give adequate amount of monetary assistance of human resource development.

I admire the way you tell the importance of education in your story
A fantastic Story!!!!
Keep Writing!!!!

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369 Reviews

Points: 45799
Reviews: 369

Mon May 13, 2019 4:11 pm
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PrincessInk wrote a review...

Hey @emefalarbi3031!

This is a pretty interesting short about a girl's dreams! I hope she'll some day become president of Ghana because she sounds inspirational and dedicated. I know not a lot happened here but I was still invested because you focused on the character of the girl and how this dream changed her. I typically dislike stories which end with 'oh it was all a dream' (aside from Alice in Wonderland) but in this case it worked because I guessed that she would soon return to her 7yo self.

I also thought you did the diary format pretty well. How the girl's thoughts often permeated it, etc, how it did *feel* like a diary. Hah, I can't pinpoint exactly what you did that made me feel that way...sorry...but I would just like to mention that. One place that I felt fell short was how Mandy only threw in a line about being confused once or so? Because she was all grown up suddenly and that would be weird and I would be freaking out definitely. But then perhaps it's all right that way given it's a dream land after all no matter how realistic it sounds. Strange stuff happens in some of my dreams and I accept it with a nod!

One other thing I would like to note is that I kept forgetting Mandy was a 7yo. Her voice felt very mature and grown-up-ish (in the parts when she isn't president) and maybe I think it could be improved by a) making her older or b) making her voice younger. Also I'm not sure Mandy knows about the domestic policy the older Mandy was proposing? I thought dreams usually consisted of the things you know in your brain? Not sure, but since there was like a 'fairy godmother' giving her the dream I suppose I'm just nitpicking!

Either way I think this is a very cool and inspirational story but some revising would make it awesome! Also, let me know if you need anything from me!


I exist as I am, that is enough
— Walt Whitman