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Young Writers Society



The Princess and the Swineherd

by emalily


Hey this is a musical I'm writing based on the Hans Christian Anderson story "The Swineherd"

At the moment I just want to finish a rough draft and any feedback is welcome. I'm also looking for something a little more interesting to call it.

So this is the prologue and scene one. I copied and pasted from a word document so it's not set out here exactly as it is on the word document, but you get the idea. Thanks and enjoy!

The Princess and the Swineherd

Cast

Prince Henry

Princess Rosalind

Lady Amelia – Rosalind’s lady in waiting

Lady Margaret – another lady in waiting

Lord James

Princess Evangeline – Henry’s sister

Rosalind’s ladies in waiting:

Lady Mary

Lady Jane

Lady Anne

Lady Gwen

John – Henry’s only servant

Howard – Swineherd

King Horatio – Rosalind’s father

Guards

Peasants

Servants

PROLOGUE

#1 Once Upon a Time

MARY

ONCE UPON A TIME

THERE LIVED A KING AND QUEEN

ANNE

THEY WERE SO IN LOVE

THE HAPPIEST YOU’VE EVER SEEN

JANE

BUT THEY HAD NOTHING

THEY WERE AS POOR AS CAN BE

GWEN

THEY DIDN’T SEE

THE NEED FOR MONEY

MARY

BUT THEN ONE DAY, THE QUEEN PASSED AWAY

AND IT RIPPED THE KING APART

ANNE

HE WAS LEFT ALL ALONE

DYING OF A BROKEN HEART

JANE

AS HE LAY ON HIS DEATH BED

HE TOLD HIS HEIR

GWEN

SON, ALWAYS TRY

NOT TO CARE

ALL

DON’T FALL IN LOVE

TAKE MY ADVICE

BECAUSE EVERYTHING IN LIFE

COMES WITH A PRICE

HEED MY WORDS

IT’S NOT WORTH THE PAIN

PLEASE DON’T LET ME

DIE IN VAIN

MARY

AND WITH THOSE LAST WORDS

ANNE

HE LEFT HIS DAUGHTER AND SON

JANE

THE HEAD OF A KINGDOM

GWEN

THEY HAD TO RUN

ALL

A KINGDOM WITH NOTHING

A KINGDOM WHICH

IT WAS THE PRINCE’S DUTY

TO MAKE IT RICH

A KINGDOM YOU WILL SEE

THE FATE OF

IF WE MOVE ON

FIVE YEARS LATER

SCENE ONE: CEMETERY/VILLAGE

(Henry is kneeling at his father’s grave, which has a rose plant growing on it with a single rose in bloom.)

EVANGELINE

(enters SR, runs up behind Henry)

Henry!

(She throws her arms around Henry, he doesn’t move)

What are you doing?

(She drops her arms as he stands up and turns to face her, John enters SR)

HENRY

Evangeline, today is a very important day. Do you see this rose? It only blooms once every 5 years. I planted it the day our father died and this is the first time it has flowered since.

(Henry picks the flower)

EVANGELINE

(shocked)

What are you doing?

HENRY

This is for the princess.

EVANGELINE

What princess?

HENRY

A very rich princess. Princess Rosalind.

EVANGELINE

Why are you giving her our father’s rose?

Marry For Money

HENRY

THERE COMES A TIME

IN EVERY MAN’S LIFE

WHERE HE HAS TO MAKE A DECISION

AND HERE I GO

BECAUSE NOW I KNOW

I MUST FOLLOW MY FATHER’S ADVICE

BEFORE HE DIED

HE SAID TO ME, SON

DON’T MARRY FOR LOVE

MARRY FOR MONEY

HE SAID DON’T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES I DID

‘CAUSE ALTHOUGH RIGHT NOW, LIFE’S PRETTY SUNNY

YOU CAN’T DO A THING IN THIS WORLD

WITHOUT MONEY

SO NOW I MUST FIND A RICH BRIDE

‘CAUSE I’M TAKING MY FATHER’S ADVICE

John, saddle up the horses! I’ll just get my things and then I’ll be on my way!

JOHN

My Lord, don’t you remember, you sold the horses last week because you couldn’t afford to feed them.

HENRY

Oh right. Well, I suppose I’ll just have to walk then.

(All three exit SR, grave is removed, peasants enter)

FEMALE PEASANTS

IF ONLY WE HAD A LITTLE MONEY

WHAT WE COULD DO WITH OUR LIVES

MALE PEASANTS

WE WORK SO HARD AND WE GET SO LITTLE

WE BARELY EVEN GET BY

BEGGAR

SPARE A COIN FOR THE NEEDY?

I DREAM OF A LIFE SO GRAND

OLD WOMAN

OH HOW MY LIFE COULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT

I’D HAVE MARRIED FOR MONEY IF I’D HAD THE CHANCE

PEASANTS

DON’T YOU HEAR WHAT PEOPLE SAY?

NO YOU CANNOT LIVE A DAY

WITHOUT MONEY

(Henry, John and Evangeline re-enter)

OLD WOMAN

(Curtseying to Henry)

Your highness –

HENRY

Please, call me Henry.

OLD WOMAN

Yes, Prince Henry. I’m afraid I may not be able to pay my taxes this month. You see, my husband, he’s awful sick and can’t work.

HENRY

That’s fine, ma’am. Don’t worry about tax this month. Here’s some gold to get you through the month.

OLD WOMAN

I can’t thank you enough, your majesty.

(She wanders away)

HENRY

NOW I HEAR TELL OF A BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS

WHO LIVES BUT A KINGDOM FROM HERE

AND NOT ONLY IS SHE A BEAUTY

I HEAR SHE HAS GOLD UP TO HER EARS

SO I’LL MAKE THIS GIRL MY WIFE

BECAUSE, DON’T YOU KNOW THERE’S NO LIFE

ALL

WITHOUT MONEY

(Peasants exit)

HENRY

So you see Eva, this rose is going to win the princess’s heart. I can’t afford jewels, but who could turn up their nose at such beauty?

EVANGELINE

Well, it is very beautiful, and I suppose it’s quite rare too…

HENRY

But?

EVANGELINE

If she is such a rich and beautiful princess, she probably gets millions of roses.

HENRY

But not roses like this!

EVANGELINE

No, but still I think you need to give her something else as well. Something utterly unique!

HENRY

I suppose you would know. So what do you suggest?

EVANGELINE

EVERY MORNING I AWAKE TO THE SOUND

OF A NIGHTINGALE’S BEAUTIFUL SONG

IT SOUNDS LIKE THE SUNRISE AND RAINBOWS AND SPRING

AND I SWEAR IT NEVER HITS A NOTE WRONG

HENRY

It sounds lovely my dear, but that would involve having to catch the bird and find a cage to put it in.

EVANGELINE

(She looks at John and then at Henry a little sheepishly)

Well… don’t get mad but… I already caught it. I’ve been keeping it in my room in a cage John found me. But I told him not to tell you.

HENRY

John, you knew about this?

JOHN

Yes, my lord, sorry.

HENRY

Honestly, I don’t know what to do with you two! But really, what would I do without you? Eva, are you sure you don’t mind giving up this bird?

EVANGELINE

I don’t mind, it’s for a good cause!

JOHN

I’ll go and get it, my lord.

(He exits, peasants re-enter)

PEASANTS

IF ONLY WE HAD A LITTLE MONEY

OH HOW WE COULD CHANGE THE WORLD

WE’D HAVE CASTLES AND SERVANTS AND RICHES

WE’D ADORN OURSELVES WITH DIAMONDS AND PEARLS

WITH MONEY SURELY OUR CHILDREN

WOULD HAVE LIVES BETTER THAN WE

WE KNOW MONEY ISN’T EVERYTHING

BUT OH IT WOULD MAKE LIFE SO EASY

(John re-enters with a bird in a birdcage)

HENRY

Thank-you, John. Take good care of Evangeline while I’m gone. There should be enough gold to pay you and Eva’s maid. Wish me luck!

EVANGELINE AND JOHN

Good luck!

(Evangeline hugs Henry and John shakes his hand)

PEASANTS, EVANGELINE AND JOHN

IF ONLY WE HAD A LITTLE MONEY

HENRY

MY FATHER SAID

PEASANTS, EVANGELINE AND JOHN

LIFE WOULD BE DIFFERENT I KNOW

HENRY

LIFE ISN’T FUNNY

PEASANTS, EVANGELINE AND JOHN

WE COULD DO WHATEVER WE WANTED

HENRY

IF YOU HAVE NOTHING

PEASANTS, EVANGELINE AND JOHN

LIFE WOULD BE JUST ONE BIG SHOW

HENRY

SO MARRY FOR MONEY

EVANGELINE AND JOHN

SO HE’LL MAKE THE PRINCESS HIS WIFE

ALL

BECAUSE DON’T YOU KNOW THERE’S NO LIFE

DON’T YOU HEAR WHAT PEOPLE SAY?

NO YOU CANNOT LIVE A DAY

NOW EVERYBODY SING

YOUR LIFE IS NOT WORTH A THING

WITHOUT MONEY


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60 Reviews


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Sun Aug 28, 2011 10:09 pm
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Narnialover4ever1 wrote a review...



WOW! I want to see more scripts like this!! This should be a real play!! Great job!! The characters names are awesome! I liked the beginning :)Keep writing :)




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Wed Aug 24, 2011 2:50 am
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emalily says...



The capitals indicate that it is a song




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Mon Aug 22, 2011 10:58 am
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McMourning wrote a review...



Hello, Emalily.
The prologue is interesting. It grabbed my interest. Did the King really tell his son not to care? But the prologue was also hard to read through. First off, the capitalization seems to serve no purpose. Secondly, it's very choppy. The narrator changes with every sentence and, in some places, it seems to change in the middle of a sentence. What point does this serve?

GWEN
THEY HAD TO RUN

ALL
A KINGDOM WITH NOTHING
A KINGDOM WHICH
IT WAS THE PRINCE’S DUTY
TO MAKE IT RICH
A KINGDOM YOU WILL SEE
THE FATE OF
IF WE MOVE ON
FIVE YEARS LATER

I think I understand why everyone is saying this last bit, but it seems to cut Gwen off a little. She should have a full sentence, "They had to a run the kingdom." Then, everyone can say, "A kingdom with nothing."
I don't think you need to say that the Prince had to make it rich. If the kingdom has nothing, then we can infer the Prince has to make it rich. I also don't think you should say, "A kingdom you will see the fate of, if we move on five years later." That sounds awkward. I agree that the audience should know that five years have passed before scene one, but that's not the way to say it. Usually, the curtain draws or the lights fade and then the narrator says, "Five years later". These cues (the lights, the curtain) are included in the script.

Apart from the formatting, you seem to have an interesting story to share.

MM




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Wed Aug 10, 2011 2:02 pm
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IcyFlame wrote a review...



Honestly, I'm not too great at reviewing scripts so I'll just comment on the layout. I don't see why you have capitalized most of the speech here, it doesn't appear to serve any purpose. If it's a song, or said in some specific rhythm I would recommend putting it into italics instead.
Other than that, the piece seemed to make a lot of sense. It was a little short though, so I'm assuming this is one part of many?





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