I wish life was just more than a rat race,
more than the survival of the fittest,
more than some Credentials making prestige,
more than a spree of greedy crowd.
more than some promises and commitment.
more to love and less on mutual funds,
more to wilderness than grandeur silhouettes,
more to bliss than some busy office day,
more to humanity than animosity.
more to handshakes than forsakes,
more into nature than some capitalist byproduct,
more to mother than owing some child support,
more to rationalism than some political conundrum
i wish life just be as it should be,
more to love than some rapid airstrike.
More to freedom than government amendments,
More to co-operation than some Union initiatives,
I wish life was like it should be,
Never fearing and never doubting.
-Dzkhuman (March the 7th, 2013).
"There's beauty in the woods"
-Lord Byron (childe harolde)
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129,874 Literary Works • 671,510 Reviews
Hello!
I like everything about this. The format. The way you express everything. The rhythm. Okay to top it all out, everything is just so beautiful.
I'm here to review your Poem!
By the way I am ILoveBooks from Team SassyLadyBugs!
Oh and I almost forgot Happy Review Day!
So shall we start my review?
This is true beauty! I have to admit it to you. I always love about poems that the topic is life, nature and other stuff. Like angst poems
Sorry if this review will take long or crappy. Just ignore it if its bothering you. My apology. I'm not really the person who is great with criticizing and reviewing. But I should just give it a go for your wonderful poem about realizing that Life is not such a walk in a park and not that easy. But I do like your poem.
Anyway, I want to say. Great with your words. I once try using these kind of deep words but I can't just put it on my poem and connect with my topic. Such a shame of me.
While reading this poem, I was touch. And i couldn't help but just try to control my emotions because serious I am the person who read stuff and when it touch my heart, I will easily let out my emotions.
Every part of your poem is well written and well express. Everything is true about the world. About the people being so greedy and all stuff. It's like are you pointing about peace with world? And ending some kind of heavy wars in different kind countries. Are you also trying to express that life is not a walk in a park and its some kind of a roller coaster ride? And if you did! Then I like it!
It so amusing and interesting! And entertaining! I dont even know how to express everything because this plainly beautiful!
Keep this up! Wonderful!
-ILoveBooks123
Hello there!
I'm sorry if this is bad, because it is my second review in a LONG time, and when I say long, I mean long. We're talking like two months long. 
Oh yes. That review. 
Great job, and keep up the good work! 
Snazzy here for a review.
The only think I would say about this is stanzas and punctuation. They are both easily fixed. For stanzas, you could write it sort of like this-
"I wish life were just more than a rat race,
more than the survival of the fittest,
more than some Credentials making prestige,
more than a spree of greedy crowd.
~
More than some promises...(etc.)"
The punctuation is pretty self-explanatory, so I won't go into detail on that.
Other than that, this was pretty good!
~Snazzy
Stay Awesome
Beautiful
Hi DZK, I'm here to review your poem.
Overall, I understand the idea behind your poem, and I really think its a very good one. Coming down to the execution of it, though, I feel as though there has been more of telling than showing. This reads more like a list of demands and amendments than a poem.
For example,
Ok, so when you say you want more wilderness than 'grandeur silhouettes' (I have no idea what that means, btw)...or that you want more of humanity than animosity...give some more imagery and descriptions of exactly what it is you envision your perfect world as being. Do you see more forests, more greenery more wildlife? Describe these things in picturesque detail...so grab the attention of the reader. Do you see and end to war? An era of peace? Describe that too...the horrors of war...the bliss of peace. Give me more images, more pictures. That's what poetry is all about.
The idea behind this poem was really good, but the execution could definitely use some work. Keep it up and I'm looking forward to reading more of your stuff!
T.q , @evening star,..actually it was an ad hoc first draft beta version. I will try better, thank you..
Bdw, by "grandeur silhouette" I mean discos and party bars lit by artificial lights, to suffice it means, I wish we have more natural outings than some coctail parties.