PART THREE:
When I was younger, every time I had read a fantasy story I had always screamed in exasperation, because whenever the main character underwent a huge transformation all they would do is complain about not being normal. I would always frown and asked myself:
Why would the main character want to be normal? Why wouldn’t the main character want to be different, to be extraordinary?
I could answer those questions now . . . the answer was fear. It wasn’t a hair sticking up on end, is there someone behind me, kind of fear. It wasn’t a heart stopping, did I forget something important, kind of fear. No, this fear was a cold mist.
It seeped through my skin and settled deep inside of me, deeper than blood and bone. It made up my entire essence, made up my entire being. This fear was impossible to shake off; it snarled and refused to leave. It swirled around me, choking me, cutting off every rational thought. This fear caused violent trembling and promised me that everything wouldn’t end up alright. This fear guaranteed me that I was going to die.
It would be best if I didn’t stand out. If I was normal, no one would notice me, and I would be safe. Nothing terrible would happen to me, and I could live. If someone discovered that my eyes suddenly turned yellow, that something inhuman was happening to me . . . they would sell me out to some lab. I would be experimented on. Any moment could be my last.
All day I sat at my desk, pretending to work while disturbing, lingering thoughts and pressing questions held my attention.
How had all this started?
A sudden realization clicked.
This all started when I finished decoding the message!
FIND THE KEY D. FOR A DARK LIFE OR TO DIE FROM LOYAL BLOOD. MEET AT THE FOREST X.
—A
Somehow, the message . . . triggered my metamorphosis.
What does A want from me?
I deliberated. I wasn’t wealthy or owned anything of value. I didn’t have any unique skills.
Where is X?
I balled up my fists, my nails puncturing my skin.
A has no right doing this to me!
I frowned then froze. A dangerous thought occurred to me.
If A could do the impossible—with me just reading the message . . . what could A do in person?
A knock at the door snapped me out of deep thought. My heart raced in my chest, threatening to break free.
“Come in,”
A tall figure stepped in sight, but my sight was still too blurred for me to tell who it was. The figure took several steps forward before speaking.
“How’re you doing, Deirdre? I’ve heard some rumors that you’re feeling under the weather. Are you ok?” The voice belonged to a coworker of mine named Anthony. He was in his early thirties and had pale skin with short brown hair.
I smiled. “Yeah, who would have thought that for the first time in my life I actually get sick? I have to say that it’s not a very pleasant experien—uh . . . uh . . . I mean . . . pfft, I’m fine! I just rolled out of the wrong side of the bed this morning!”
Anthony snorted and I could picture him rolling his eyes, “You’re a terrible liar. Let me guess . . . you already spent all of your sick days at the library so you had to come to work today.”
“I wouldn’t do any such thing!”
“Sure you wouldn’t.” Anthony said sarcastically.
I scowled, “Fine, you’re right.”
He chuckled, “I swear . . . if you were anyone but the boss’s daughter.”
I raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?”
He sighed, “Deirdre, I know you try your best, but . . . you’re only nineteen with no work experience or college education. You’re only here when you absolutely have to be here, and everyone knows that you hate working here.”
“It’s that obvious, huh?” I murmured to myself.
There was a long, awkward pause.
Finally, Anthony investigated, “Why do you stay here? I mean, why would you stay at a job that you hate doing?”
I shrugged, “Duty, I guess.”
“I’m sure that your uncle won’t hold it against you if you quit. I’m sure that he would want you to do what you love.” Anthony informed gently.
“I owe him everything. The least I can do is work at his firm.” I declared firmly.
He changed the subject. “Do you want to hear something weird?”
I smiled, “Absolutely.”
“There was this huge wild fire last night in Pok’s forest. Firefighters weren’t able to put it out.”
I interrupted, “There’s nothing weird about a wildfire and firefighters not being able to put it out. They get out of control and need to run their course.”
“Let me finish—anyway, some helicopters arrived at the scene and began filming for the news around ten. Over the night, the fire formed this huge x and instantly vanished once the sun rose up.”
I paused, trying to find my voice, “Yeah . . . yeah that is weird. It was in Pok’s forest, right?”
“Yep,” Anthony confirmed. “Oh, damn, I have to go. Those sexy little numbers are calling.”
I grinned as he left. Once I heard the door closed, I dropped the smile.
There’s no doubt about it. I have to go.
When I was born, my father had gone missing. All the police could find was his blood in the forest. Pok’s forest. Someone somewhere was trying to get my attention.
They found it.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Hey there!
Happy Review Day.
I read chapter one and two and I dropped in here to read chapter three!
I liked the start to this part. You described her fear very well.
It seeped through my skin and settled deep inside of me, deeper than blood and bone. It made up my entire essence, made up my entire being. This fear was impossible to shake off; it snarled and refused to leave. It swirled around me, choking me, cutting off every rational thought. This fear caused violent trembling and promised me that everything wouldn’t end up alright. This fear guaranteed me that I was going to die. [/quote]
Great description here!
I see now that the message was actually for her and not something she had stumbled upon. I'm curious to know who is A and what actually happened to her father. You are maintaining good suspense.
Great job!
-manisha
Hey, Dragon!

Though I haven't read your other two chapters, I can totally understand what is going with the 'main character'. This has got nice vibe.There wasn't any mistakes of such in both grammar and spelling. What was lacking is the way you have narrated the story. The place where Anthony interrupts her thought, the description you have given about him is like the 'main character' is telling us about his looks.Instead of her telling us, as an author you could have done that job. Because the feelings and the emotions of Deirdre is broken in that point. And again in the next sentence, she carry's on being fearful. So, try to avoid it in future.
And Deirdre, says herself that she is the 'main character' of this story which I think is funny.Any way keep up with your good work.good luck.Keep writing.