sarcotesta

hi dovehearted!

this is an intense read. i am a sucker for visceral/anatomical imagery, but even saying that, i admit this is grisly. you've written this with so much rich imagery and this deep sense of inherited violence and ritual. it feels almost too much, but that's why it works. the juxtaposition of the mundane with the grotesque creates a haunting atmosphere. you're juggling generational trauma, masculinity, and how we disguise violence as tradition or necessity. already off to a great start!

i did have to google what sarcotesta actually is, but knowing it's meaning, i love that title choice! the scientific precision definitely contrasts with the rawness of the poem. it furthers the tension between the clinical and the grotesque, which feels much like how the father’s seemingly routine tasks mask his deeper violence.

each day he wakes up
and finds himself still a weapon—

this is jarring. he is not a person anymore but a tool for destruction, shaped by his past and family legacy. this line really shifts the focus of the poem onto the father too. i think it hints at his possible guilt or burden. he doesn't choose to be a weapon; it’s something he "finds" himself as, and that emphasizes the inevitability of that realization. his actions are ritualistic, even violent, but that doesn't necessarily affect how the narrator views him either. that's just their father.

i wish you went into depth on how the narrator feels though! it's just an assumption that they don't care or otherwise don't understand how violence shaped their father past his stories. maybe it is a cyclical thing that they will find themselves falling victim to! i imagine that something as generational as this theme wouldn't just stop at one man. it could continue down the lineage, umbroken. there is a tone of the father trying to justify or explain himself to the narrator, which feels like something you could easily build off of to accomplish this. that's your foundation!

& that you couldn’t tell the stains
on his shirt apart from lamb guts.
you couldn’t tell the նուռ apart
from human flesh.

i actually love this stanza! the stains blend the man with the lambs he kills, and i think that suggests that violence has marked him irreversibly. which is a common theme here. the lack of distinction between the man and the act emphasizes how deeply intertwined they are too. that even goes down to the fact he is referred to as your "father's father" and not something personal like grandfather. this image blurs the boundaries between predator and prey, now father and grandfather.

also, pomegranates are awesome! especially paired with such a culturally vibrant poem. i think they represent fertility, life, and death, etc. comparing that to human flesh ties back to the visceral and grotesque imagery in the previous stanzas. i think that's also deeply ironic too, that something that represents life and beauty can be misrepresented like that. i think it adds to the rawness.

anyway, this is stunning! a lot of poetry tries to capture the idea of inheritance, but i think this is one of the few that succeeds. it's gorgeous!

best,
milkweed

Hai :3

This is absolutely mesmerizing!! I’m so in love with how visceral and vivid this poem is!! It’s raw, brutal, and tender all at once, and I can feel every image like it’s pressed right into my skin. I am not familiar with the cultural aspects, but I love to see them!! There’s such a haunting beauty in how you’ve intertwined violence, inheritance, and care ~~ Like, it’s unsettling in the best way. I’m obsessed!! It's hard to write about family with such cathartic language, but you did that well.

my father crushes seeds
with his hands, the deep red
of cherry plum blood staining his fingers.

I love this opening !!!

This imagery is so tactile and vivid!! There’s this quiet violence to the act, but it also feels so matter-of-fact, almost ritualistic. The juxtaposition of violent actions (disemboweling / breaking necks) with familial rituals like Sunday brunch creates so much unease. It immediately sets this tone of brutality disguised as something almost ordinary, which really draws me in. I think it's a neat play on generational trauma as well!! Not just familial, but cultural as well.

each day he wakes up
and finds himself still a weapon—
he says ցավդ տանեմ as he scoops
fruit entrails into a bowl

This is so striking!! There's an overarching theme of inheritance here ~~ Violence passed down, not just in action but in identity. The idea of waking up and finding yourself to be a weapon had me in awe; I think that in this poem, manhood is equated to weaponhood. Maybe through stoicism, maybe through violence, but it's indubitable. Your father is both nurturing and destructive, which is so beautiful in the context of the poem!! He is neither good or bad, just him.

^^^ Though I wonder if you could explore this more culturally!! The Armenian phrases were so neat to read!! The line with "ցավդ տանեմ" floored me because it adds a layer of hypocrisy. I don't speak Armenian, but I believe that translates to something like "let me take your pain away" or something. I love how you've juxtaposed something so delicate and soft with all of this violence!! I wonder if you could explore that parallel more though. Why does he say that? Does he believe that it will reconcile with all of the metaphorical destruction he's caused?

he tells me that
his father used to break
the necks of spring lambs
with his bare hands

THIS ENDING !!! I love the whole stanza, but these lines are gorgeous!!

The act of killing lambs is such a vivid image!! Lambs are creatures often associated with purity and innocence, so killing them becomes a metaphor for a hardening of the spirit, for a need of survival ~~ Like, these are young animals being slaughtered. I think that's so visceral with the last lines!! The stains, for example!! Are these stains byproducts of the grandfather’s work, or do they signify something deeper, like an inability to separate his identity from the violence he enacts?

You’ve done such an incredible job with this!! The imagery, the pacing, the emotional depth are all absolutely stunning. Everything is so stark and unflinching, and it’s impossible to look away. This is going to stick with me for a long time. Amazing work!! ^_^

- Payton