A/N: This is another song I wrote, please review and tell me what you think. Um... It's kind of longish, but I hope you like it
We Will Fly Starts here:
Verse 1: You light up my world,
When I'm falling slowly through the sky,
When no one else can.
Chorus: But we will soar,
We will fly
Through the great nighttime starry skies.
Verse 2: Chase the wind,
touch the clouds,
As we ride slowly through the night.
Grab my hand, We can go all night
As we fly, Across oceans wide,
It's as if, We are totally alive.
Chorus: Cause' we will soar,
We will fly,
Through the great nighttime starry skies,
Verse 3: And we will make,
The best of friends,
And there will never be an end,
Oh, oh, oh, oh yeah yeah yeah
Chorus: Yeah we will soar,
We will fly,
Through the great nighttime starry skies,
Verse 4: As my heart,
Beats really fast
And we will laugh and laugh and laugh
Chorus: Cause' we will soar
We will fly,
Through the great nighttime starry skies
Verse 5: As we sing, all night
And we take, This amazing flight
All my dreams, became my hopes,
Until you came, And let me know
That this is love, And this is life.
Chorus: And we will soar,
We will fly,
Through the great nighttime starry skies
Verse 6: In the bright, Moonlight,
And the stars, Shine bright
Like there's no other perfect night,
Chorus: Cause' we will soar,
We will fly,
Through the great nighttime starry skies
And that's alright.
Verse 7: Cause we will fly, Though the night,
In the bright moonlight
Chorus: And we will soar
We will fly,
Through the great nighttime starry skies
Verse 8: Cause' baby you light up my world,
When I'm falling Slowly.
A/N: I hope you guys liked it. I know the verses are short, and it's a little bit jacked up, but I just wanted to see if you guys liked it. So please review! Thanks!
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Canary word: Present
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,815 Reviews
To be honest,not everything was perfect.Some verses were better than others and some did not catch my attention so much.
Even if I said that,the whole lyrics..they are amazing.Your mistakes are small and can be easily fixed.I love everything about this.The idea,words,thoughts and also its tittle.Maybe the verses were not in the right order?
As I saw to others...you need to write more.
When it is good,it needs to be more!
Anyways,thank you for sharing it!
Keep on writing.
Thanks I'm really glad you liked it.
Hey, 5!
Ok, I reallly enjoyed the lyric. I loooved the title. I loved the theme. In a word, I loved all most of it, not all of it..
Now, it's about what I didn't quite like. Verse 2. The first three lines sounded good to me. But I didn't like the same word "night" at the end of lines 3 and 4. I thought it would be better if you changed the part "we can go all night" to a line which rhymed with "touch the clouds".
I would like to rearrange the verse. It would be something like this-
Verse 5(As we sing...) -to be- Verse 3
Verse 6( In the bright...) -to be- Verse 4
Verse 7(Cause we will...) -to be- Verse 5
Verse 4(As my heart...) -to be- Verse 6
Verse 3(And we will make...) -to be- Verse 7
However, I liked the chorus. Although it was short and I felt to have more of it, I thought it was good. Verse 1 and Verse 8 are good as well.
Thanks for the help and tips. I'm glad you liked it!
Hi! It's me
) so maybe that could be extended too? I don't know, this is all optional.
You recommended this to me on my wall and I really liked it! I rarely ever review songs but I'm glad I chose to read and review this one because it's really good.
I'm sure others have already told you most of this, but I guess I will anyway.
Some of the verses seem to be really short, and there seem to be a lot of them. Maybe you could merge some of them together to make the song shorter instead of taking out verses that make the song great.
Another thing I noticed is that your chorus seems to be rather short as well. That's not always a bad thing, but sometimes it leaves us wanting more (because it's such a catchy song
This is an optional thing as well, because it's your song, not mine: A lot of songs have a "semi-chorus" which is a repeated verse that is played before the chorus happens. Not every time do they play it before the chorus, but most of the time the first two times the chorus plays the semi-chorus comes before it and then the third and last time the chorus plays it is missing sometimes. This is probably really confusing. But I suggest listening to a random song, maybe a Taylor Swift song, and try to pick out the semi-choruses you hear. Maybe adding one would also help the rhythm of your song.
Speaking of playing the chorus three times, that seems to be something you didn't do. Maybe if you merged the verses and extended the chorus, you could play the chorus fewer times. These are all suggestions and I am no expert, so if you think these things aren't things you want to do, don't do them! I'm no songwriter (though I have written songs, just not posted them) so don't ask me.
This is a really awesome song and I can't wait to see what it turns out like if you decide to edit it! You did really great with this and I think it flows very nicely. Keep up the great work!
~Em101cats~
Thanks!
See you later!
First off, I am so glad that you have decided to write a song, it is just so uncommon these days! Do you play a musical instrument?
I loved the theme of the song, that love and flying almost evoke the same emotions, and there's not really anything I would change except maybe cut down on your verses? I just felt that sincerity is clear in shorter songs... like The Beatles for instance!
I really liked the song and keep writing! I look forward to reading more of your work!
That means a lot. To answer your question, I do play a musical instrument. I play the piano, and I'm still trying to figure out the notes to the tune of the song and all of that good stuff, but I guess I will figure it out eventually. Thanks for the kind words!
*Follows*
Hey there! Gonna leave you with a review quick.
Overall, I think your song is well written. I liked the light-hearted feel it had. There was only one part, that sounded a bit awkward to me ("As we ride slowly through the night. Grab my hand, We can go all night"). Normally repetition in poetry/songs doesn't bother me, but because this is the only repeated part directly added in a verse, it kind of disrupts the flow. I would try to rhyme with a different word, seeing as that is how you wrote the other verses. But, other than that, I didn't find anything that I didn't like in this! It's cute, simple, and also well-written. Great job, and I'll be sure to check out more of your work! c:
Thanks for the kind words!